True Colors

Chapter 17 - The Past and Reality Collide

Chapter 17 – Jessica Montez

I stormed out of the diner, caught a glimpse of Nick’s mom, and headed down the side walk.

Walking down the streets of Oakley was more terrifying than I thought it would be, every few minutes guys would be checking me out, or they would stop me and ask me ‘how I was going’, I was so fed up with it all.

“Jessica!” I heard a familiar voice call.

I ignored it, thinking I was just losing my mind and hearing things.

“Jessica!!” the voice called again, “Jessica! Stop!”

I turned around and saw Nick racing towards me, concern written all over his face; I honestly didn’t have the time to be dealing with Nick right now, I just wish he’d go away. It took me a moment to realize that Nick was standing in front of me now, and then he wasn’t going to let me go anywhere.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” he shouted.

“Anywhere but there!” I shouted back.

He was fuming, you could see it in his eyes, “you need to stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“You need to stop running away from everything—it’s pointless—you’re not getting anywhere while doing that,” he exclaimed, getting closer and closer to my face each time. I rolled my eyes at him and turned on my heel.

Nick caught my arm and squeezed it tight, “No, you’re staying right here and you’re going to listen to what I have to say.”

“What do you want from me Nick?! Huh?!” I shouted; I was literally on the verge of tears as I snapped around and looked at him, “Go ahead! Tell me you told me so! After all of these years, you knew I was just going to be a lonely person, which I wasn’t going to be accepted; guess what?! You were right! I did!!” I screamed.

Nick stared at me as I tried to catch my breath.

“I’M ALONE!!” I continued to scream, “MEGAN IS DEAD!! She was the ONLY family I had, god dammit!” I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks as the wind pushed my hair away from my face, “MY DAD KILL HER!!”

“Jessica…”

“No, Nick,” I snapped, “You think you’re so perfect: with your perfect little girlfriend, perfect family, perfect friends, perfect house, perfect EVERYTHING!” I shouted, “Well, not everyone is perfect okay?! Not everyone has the luxury you do! I grew up taking care of myself, because my dad beat me and my mom didn’t do anything about it!”

My knees were extremely week as I collapsed onto the cement; Nick kneeled down and stared me straight in the eyes…I couldn’t see anything in his eyes—there was no emotion what so ever, just a blank stare.

“So go ahead,” I rambled on, “brag about how you knew I was going to end up the way I am…that I would end up on my own somewhere with someone else.”

Nick shook his head, “I can’t…I never meant it when I told you any of that.”

***Flash Back*** - Freshman Year

I turned the dial on my locker door and pulled the locker open, pulling out my Algebra II book and Creative Writing notebook; I slammed the locker door and saw Nick standing next to my locker.

I huffed as he stared at me, “What do you want Nick?”

“Just wanted to see what’s up,” he responded, quickly.

I rolled my eyes, “Obviously, you’re here for a reason—you wouldn’t be the first to walk up and say hello or good afternoon.”

He rolled his eyes, mimicking me, “Fine…what’s going on with you lately? You look at me in the halls and when I try to say something to you, you just speed away?”

“’Cause, maybe, I want to be by myself,” I replied, annoyed, “ever think of that?”

“God,” he groaned, “You’ve always been like that—ever since I dumped you last year—you know what Jessica? Eventually you’re just going to end up alone; you’re not going to have anyone left to take care of you, because you block everyone out of your life!”

“Oh shut up, Nick,” I snapped, “You’ll probably end up in a box somewhere if you keep this attitude up.”

Nick pushed my shoulder against my locker and got up in my face, “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Stop acting like my father.”

Nick’s facial expression changed; I didn’t really know how to describe it, but if I ever had to compare someone to my father it obviously wasn’t good. I clutched my book and notebook in my arms, bringing them closer to my chest to protect myself—I guess Nick caught onto this, because all he did was back up and sigh.

“Whatever,” he responded.

“Look,” I said, “We’re best friends—we really shouldn’t be fighting—you and I have both changed, that’s an no brainer; but that doesn’t mean that you and I should be going around and yelling at each other.”

He rolled his eyes, “Listen Jess, keep pushing people out of your life—you’re going to end up alone—so don’t push me away, I want to keep you.”

“I’m not a prize.”

“I know you’re not.”

“Then stop treating me like one,” I spat, rushing away from Nick.

Nick pulling me into a hug; broke me out of my thoughts.

“What are you doing?” I asked, pushing away from him.

“I know what you’re thinking about,” he replied. “You’re thinking about that time last year when you compared me to your dad.”

I gulped as he let held my shoulders.

“I know you’re not a prize to be won or to hold onto,” he blurted out. “And I wish I could take everything I said back.”

“You can’t,” I replied; standing up, a little too quickly.

Nick grabbed my wrist and spun me towards him, “You want me to admit it, Jessica?” he whispered in my ear. I pushed myself away from him, confused.

He exhaled nervously and stared me straight in the eyes.

“I still love you.”