Raura's Daughter

fourteen.

Ross' POV

I awoke with a start. The sound of someone hammering their fist angrily against my bedroom door had jolted me out of a deep and horrible sleep. I groaned and sat up slightly. The rush of my hangover from the night before flooded through my head as I laid back down again. I could faintly remember getting drunk from a bottle of cheap vodka last night after Laura had slammed the door in my face. "Ross! I know you're in there!" It was Rydel and she sounded pissed.

"What?" I croaked out miserably. I couldn't be bothered to go to school today, I felt like a piece of shit and frankly I was embarrassed after last night's events had taken place.

"You've left empty bottles of crap laying around and snacks, you better clean this mess up before school because I'm sure as hell not doing it!"

I rolled my eyes. I had absolutely no recollection of the things I'd done or said last night. The only thing I was certain of was that I'd spoken to Laura and I'd made a complete fool out of myself. I don't know what I was thinking. I never usually opened myself up to girls, I liked to keep my feelings private and personal but there was something about Laura that made me want to be sensitive, she made me want to share my feelings with her. Then the sudden memory of me breaking down in front of her and crying like a little baby pushed it's way into my mind. I'd never cried in front of a girl before, what the hell was I thinking?

"Ross, did you hear what I just-"

"Yes!" I yelled out in frustration to my sister who was undoubtedly on the other side of my bedroom door trying to purposely piss me off. Rydel had become so self obsessed with her and Ratliff's wedding that she hadn't even noticed the relationships that were crashing and burning around her. Laura practically hated my guts right now and I couldn't turn to anyone for advice because they were all so obsessed with Rydel's fantasy wedding to care about anyone else's lives. "I'm getting up okay?"

"Good, hurry up!" Rydel exclaimed before her heavy footsteps retreated away from the other side of my bedroom door.

As I forced myself to start getting ready, the thought of Courtney and our fight forced it's way into my already messed up mind. The truth is, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be her boyfriend anymore or if I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I wasn't a player by any means, but I just hadn't looked at Courtney in an, 'I love you' sort of way for such a long time. I couldn't feel any emotion except friendship towards her. It had gotten to the point where I no longer cared about the guys she'd hang round with during lunch or the swarm of reckless nobodies who wanted to date her. A part of me had always wondered what would have happened if Courtney had been cheating behind my back, would I have had to pretend to be angry? Would I have to tell her that I really didn't care? It was all a huge mystery in my mind that I was scared to find the answer too.

I'd lost the girl I loved for the girl I thought I truly wanted. I was wrong; very, very wrong. Since Isabella had been born all I could think about late into the night was, what if she'd hate me someday? For all the pain that I inflicted upon Laura. She was barely a year old and she already loved Laura more than anything, it wouldn't take a genius to see that.

Stupidly I think my teenage brain didn't realise that having a child meant being a parent forever, no matter what the circumstances may be, I was always going to be Isabella's father. Someday I was going to watch my little girl graduate, then I'd have to find the funds to get her into the college of her dreams and buy her all the necessity's that she needed throughout her life. I seriously hadn't realised how much effort I was going to have to put in, otherwise I'd lose my family forever and I definitely couldn't afford that.

"Come on, I'll take you to school." Rydel said bluntly once I'd tided myself up for school. I definitely wasn't looking forward to the day ahead of me but I was Ross Lynch, I could have anyone I wanted.. right?

I sat uncomfortably in the passenger seat beside Rydel as she flicked through the endless radio stations with a strange look on her face. I wasn't an expert on reading people but something seemed to be seriously off with her today and I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly it was. I gently placed my hand on top of hers, causing her to jump ever so slightly and put her hands back onto the wheel. "Del, what's up?"

I'd been a douchebag all morning, the least I could do was check up on my older sister. Rydel hunched her shoulders and let out a quiet sigh. "Um.. Ross.. listen. I didn't want to tell you this right now but everyone else in the family knows and it would be incredibly unfair of me not to tell you."

I frowned. "Okay... you're being weird but spill."

Rydel pulled into the school parking lot and turned to me with a sympathetic smile. "You were pretty drunk last night so Rocky sent you to bed whilst the rest of us waited up for Mom and Dad."

I groaned and placed my hand to my forehead. "Listen Del, I'm sorry if I went on a drunk rampage and murdered Bob the chicken or something but don't you think I'm a little old for lectures now? I'm a father and-"

"No stupid!" Rydel hissed with a quick roll of her eyes. "This isn't about you. It's about Mom and Dad."

I stared at her. I was confused to say the least. I didn't talk to my parents as much as I'd like to so I was never fully up to date on their lives or where they were at in terms of their relationship. "Okay..." I murmured with furrowed eyebrows. "Go on."

"They were in an accident last night." She said with a sigh. The way the sentence flowed out of her mouth sent chills down my spine. If someone were to tell me that I wouldn't even hear it as bad news, there was no panic or emotion in Rydel's voice, she just sounded motherly; much like Mom herself. "They're both fine but Mom has to have surgery at a hospital in LA. They were visiting there to try and get us a record label, instead they got into a bad car accident."

I shook my head slowly as I carefully took in Rydel's words through my head. "We have to go to LA!" I blurted out as I turned the ignition on the car. "I don't care how much the flight is or if we have to get there by this stupid car, we have to get to LA!"

"We can't Ross!" Rydel hissed. She grabbed a hold of both of my hands and forced me to look at her dead in the eyes. "Dad is staying with Mom and as soon as she's allowed to come home we can see her. She's going to be okay Ross, it's not a major surgery."

As my sister told me that it was going to be okay, I couldn't help but think back to Laura when her father found out that he had a critical case of cancer. I could only imagine how awful her and her family had felt in those few months before his passing. Sometimes you have to go through the pain and worry of a situation yourself to feel remorse for the other person. Now I finally understood how Laura felt and still feels to this day.

"Okay." I managed to murmur. I opened the car door and slammed it behind me. I covered my head with the hood of my jumper and ignored everyone who passed by me on my way to class.

I suppose you could say that I'd finally had my awakening.

No more high school jock.

No more relationships.

No more cheating.

I was done.

I'd been dreading this day for what felt like years, but I knew that I finally had to man up and do it. I reached a classroom that was a few doors down from my own. With a quick shake of my hand, I beckoned her out to me.

It was time.

"Courtney, I'm breaking up with you."

***

UGH FINALLY

all my love

b x