The Sacrifice: Forgotten | Loki | Book 1

Chapter 7: Scandinavian

(Loki's/Tom's P.O.V.)

Now that I had some cues at last, I considered telling Caroline and let her help me with that 'Internet'-thing she mentioned. It was very suspect to me, for I could absolutely not imagine what in the Nine Realms knew enough to tell me.

How would it be when I found out who I was? What if Xenia was right and I was a monster? Was I able to take the truth, no matter what it was? I pushed these thoughts away. No, the probability was insignificantly small.

"What is 'Internet' exactly? Is it a visionary or something like that?" It was obviously a stupid question, as she was caught off-guard and looked at me as if I was insane.

"Dude, you don't know what the internet is?" She exclaimed. Perfect, now she thinks you are dull.

"Not at all." I responded ashamedly. She was lost in her thoughts for a couple of seconds, as if she was trying to figure something out in my eyes. I had disappointed her. For some reason beyond me, this feeling was shockingly familiar.

"Don't worry, I'll show you." She took my arm and led me into Xenia's chamber, apparently that 'internet' is only in her room. I was worried about being there, for it was obvious to a blind man that I was not welcomed.

"Are you sure it is no problem that I am here? Your friend despises me." I said while she was opening a flat metal book.

"Yeah, of course it's a problem to her. But she's rude and behaves ridiculously, besides, she didn't even give you the chance to prove your sincerity. So why should I care?"

Had I ever proved my sincerity to her? For all she knew, I was a man with amnesia, having fallen from the sky at night and into her housing. Everything spoke against her choices. It was a big mistake. Where did all these intuitive feelings stem from? I prayed that I was wrong.

Caroline pressed a key and the 'notebook', as she called it, lit up.

"Okay, Tom, let me explain. The internet is a connection between all the computers in the world. It allows us to be in contact with people no matter how far away they are, so we call it Social Network. But you can also obtain information and get pictures and stuff, all kinds of data, whatever you want. So tell me, are there any particular key words you remember?" She explained looking deeply into my eyes, as if she was reading my soul.

Without looking, she typed the word 'Google' into her internet-thing. It sounded like a name one would give to a troll.

"Well, I once thought about the 'Nine Realms' and said 'Odin', that is all." I lied. I was not ready yet to speak or even think about that green abomination crashing my bones. It was just too much. Not enough capacity. What a merciless joke.

"Okay, okay... Are you sure that's all you recall?" She seemed suspicious, but it was most likely only my paranoia.

"Yes." I claimed. As I already mentioned, I did not want to be in agony again. She typed the words up and clicked on the 'search'-button. In fractions of a second the machine gave us tons of information that could be what we needed. Caroline opened something called 'Wikipedia' and scrolled up and down, skimming the texts.

"Hm. Useless, useless, more useless..." She murmured in deep concentration. "Well, that sounds interesting."

"What? Have you found something?" I questioned with untamed excitement.

"Here's some info about Norse Mythology. Odin is one of their gods, the 'All Father' as they say. He is King of Asgard, ruling with his wife Frigga, Goddess of Truth. Were you studying Norse Mythology? Not that you look like a Scandinavian, but still..." Her voice became gradually lower, she was skimming again.

"They have two sons, Thor and Loki."

She waited for an answer, but became worried as no reply came. She shook my shoulders, screamed my name but I was not there anymore. Everything she said was more than just familiar. It was terrifying, because I felt like my entire life has been about these 'gods'. My head hurt. My stomach churned painfully. Again there was that feeling, as if something was pushing its way through my subconscious. But this time, no memory.

I snapped out of my trance as she slapped my face. "Tom!" My eyes shot at her and I saw her crying, with a crimson face and puffy eyes. She was going to slap me again, but this time, I grabbed her hand before it reached my cheek. I began to shake my head and rock back and forth.

"I-I am so sorry. I do not know, I just have no idea. Yes, goddammit, it sounds familiar to me but I simply cannot see any connection. I am so truly sorry." I admitted.

I began to cry on her shoulder. She did not seem to mind, instead, she put her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her too. I was being torn apart, from the inside. The emptiness was craving something to kill.

"You are doing so much for me, yet we both know nothing will change. My mind will never recover, Caroline. I am a damaged soul, a burden to everyone I will meet."

"But that doesn't define you!"

"Caroline, don't you see? A man is defined by his memories, and I have none, for I am an empty shell, there is nothing inside me. I am cursed, I-I am no more than - "

My pessimistic confession was interrupted by her crushing her warm lips to mine.

Like Fire and Ice.

My skin grew warmer, yet I was shivering in joy. Her love was so electrifying, my dead soul awakened and warmed up, grew hotter and hotter.... I was burning, but I loved it. The realization of what was going on took me some seconds, but then I returned her love and kissed her back. It was a sweet kiss, innocent. Would she ever know how much I loved her already? That she owned my soul and that she was the reason my eyes light up?

Thinking about how much she meant to me, I decided to stop. I could not savour her like this before she was declared my wife. Me touching her in that way was inappropriate. So I gently pulled away and caressed her cheek.

"I will never give you up. I will never stop trying and never will I let you go. You belong with me." She whispered gently in my ear. "Can't you see that? Feel it? You already know, Tom. The answer was right in front of your eyes, all the time. I love you. I freaking love you!"

How could she fall in love with me just like that? It was unbelievable, impossible. And yet, everything she said was sincere, I could see it. We were proof of the existence of love at first sight.

"I do not love you, Caroline. I adore you. I cherish you. Never will I love someone as much as I love you."

Forgotten were our researches, my loss of memories and the fact that Xenia would snap us sooner or later. Caroline was in my arms, which I had protectively locked around her. We laughed and cried, all day long, until we fell asleep in each others embrace, never losing contact. I would protect her from any harm, be everything she wants and treat her like no one on Earth has ever treated a woman.

And soon I would ask her hand for marriage.

I was perfectly happy now, nothing would frighten me anymore. But that was before the nightmares began.