The Sacrifice: Forgotten | Loki | Book 1

Chapter 24: A Final Kiss

(Loki's/Tom's P.O.V.)

It had been a couple of weeks by then since the day I had claimed back my body.

Sigyn was lulled in the belief I loved her and would stay with her till the end. Tom became more and more withdrawn and shrank into the darkest and remotest part of my mind. He rarely commented on my actions and did not say anything to the plans I was forging out. I attempted to see through the blockading wall he had erected, but he would never let me.

The only vital sign of his was the pure sorrow he was exuding - and what a proof it was! I had to endure his pain, this agonizing lovelornness he felt. There was nothing I could do about it. He was untouchable to me. His emotions were rubbing off and my state was worsening rapidly. Sigyn became worried sick about me and put off our plans. She deemed it unwise to act now when I was so weak. I had wanted to add another scar to her face then.

I am horrible, you think? Perhaps, who can judge a madman anyway. But Sigyn was no dust grain more sincere than I was.

I knew Sigyn was using me, just like everyone else did in my past. But we both kept our false fronts up and pretended to be the evil and inseparable couple the universe took as for. She was fearing for her plans, not for me. For her survival. My love was her life. Not me. It was yet to dawn on me why I had fallen for her when we were younger. Whatever had held my heart with her then was gone. There was no room for foolish love at all.

I had a great amount of magical power, and I could do whatever I wanted.

And yet, I did not.

Tom kept me in bed all day and night long, his depression prevented me from doing anything but brood. He held my chains. I wanted to break out and have revenge. Rage and kill something. As much as I had been wronged, I never wanted to be a victim. Someone people pitied. It was out of question that I needed him to play along since he was unfortunately a part of me. But he forced me to cry myself to sleep every night and I could do nothing to stop him.

I wished to know what made him to depressed. What could one regret when one never had anything? Did he really regret the pathetic relationship between him and that mortal? Humans could be so irrational. I confined him just to that, humanity. There was no godliness to him.

That night, I sat alone on the balcony and stared at the night sky, seeing the great kingdom of Asgard glowing in a distance to great to grasp with mind. What was Thor doing right then? Of course he was awaiting his coronation, since I had ruined his last one. And he would be happy - knowing that his real parents were with him and loving him to death.

It irked me how Sigyn could forced him to kill the mortal... I mean, surely, Sigyn had dark magic down to a fine art, but dull Thor had heart. He would fight every mental attack till the end. He had really been up and away, keen on killing. And that filled my heart with rage.

Why did it bother me so much? Why was I angry at his short episode of evil? Is not this what I wanted? Was it because I had never gotten him like that?

Did you finally figure out who causes all your confusion?

I am afraid I did not. But I am suffering like a dog because of your lovesickness. Can you not just forget her?

How could I ever forget her? I love her, Loki. You never felt this kind of affection, so I did not expect you to understand..

I think I understand very well what you say...

Is it not obvious?

Yes. We both love the same woman. And you are more part of me than I wanted to admit, it is like we are one and the same spirit. I can not deny that I love her because you do.

I knew it from the beginning, from the first time you saw her through the eyes which had been mine. You might not be able to look through my mind, but I can read yours. And I feel everything you feel. I noticed right from the beginning that you do not love Sigyn.

I assume you know what I have in mind for Sigyn?

Of course I do. And it is nothing but heartless, suiting you, but she deserves it.

Great, at least you will not spare me from your commentary when I do it. 'Tis not at all distracting.

When do we start?

Oh, it already began. And she should be drained in less than by dawn. I took the rose as well and replaced it with a copy. I will be nothing but untouchable to her.

Really clever. And what are you doing afterwards?

I kept that secret by using a spell so you cannot unnerve me with your begging.

Why should I beg? Loki, what are you up to? Tell me now.

Wouldn't you like to know? Do not waste your precious breath, 'tis pointless.

With that, I was alone again. Tom returned to his private place in my head and refused to talk to me anymore. I hated to admit it, but with him, I did not feel so lonely. This parasite. I still thought he was a parasite in my brain.

I looked up to the sky again and watched Asgard. The realm I grew up in, the place of my childhood. They would soon find out about me leaving Midgard.... And when they find Sigyn's body, they will know I did it, so I had to keep her alive.

I got up slowly and entered the castle again, looking for her. After I searched in all of her chambers and the throne room, a guard told me she left for the rose garden. What was she doing in the garden during the night? I became suspicious and followed where the guard told me she was. I stepped over thousands of lifeless and withered flowers before I thought I saw something that did not belong there.

Eventually, I found a small, dark figure on the ground. I removed the hood, coming closer. I suspected who was lying there - and the sight which was unveiled to me made me gasp. I took off the coat she was wearing. There was Sigyn, looking like an old Midgardian woman with wrinkles and bony limbs. She was pale as death, seemingly irrevocably in Hel's grasp, but I knew better.

I broke the spell I had cast to draw her powers and left her with a small amount of dark magic, just enough to keep her alive. I did not need more people on my heels.

Bring her inside. She will die if you leave her here and the guards will get suspicious. They knew you followed.

Consequently, I picked her up and carried her inside the castle of hers. The guard at the door asked me what happened, and I told him it was none if his business. 

"Your mistress is tired. Leave her to rest." Sigyn was merely sleeping. He nodded and let me pass through the huge, black gates. At last, I arrived at one of her chambers and laid her down in the bed, covering her body with the blankets.

A final kiss symbolized the end of everything between us.

"My kiss shall erase the memories of this night, you will not remember I stole your powers, you will remember fainting for no clear reason." I whispered and left her chamber.

I continued to walk through the endless corridors, feeling alive. Until I got outside and reached the edge of the forest. There, I hid between the trees and made sure nobody had followed me, then I teleported myself to Midgard.

There was something that belonged to me, and I would recapture it.