Hers 2 (Ruby Rose)

20| Old Tricks

AT FIRST I thought I had been imagining it, but when I blinked a few times and saw that the screen image had not changed, it felt like someone had suddenly thrown a brick at my chest.

She deleted them. The photos of us. All of them. Off her Instagram.

We only got home less than an hour ago, which meant she had done it while I was driving. While we had been talking about her trip. Everything had seemed okay again, and I thought we had both agreed to let it go.

I felt hurt, betrayed, confused, every bad emotion at once.

I stormed into the bedroom, still holding my phone in my hand. Ruby did not move a muscle under the blanket, her eyes shut.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, tossing my phone onto the bed, right next to her. Instead of looking at it, she rolled over onto her back and rubbed her eyes.

"Chill out, you're overreacting." She said, closing her eyes again and resting her arm above her head.

"Chill out? Chill out?" I was angry, something I rarely ever felt. Usually, I was just upset. But now, I felt like destroying everything around me.

"Oh my fucking God," she sat up, her eyes immediately sending daggers my way. "I deleted them so that you would stop reading the comments. I did you a favor. You're obsessed with it."

"Do you realize what you've done? Now everyone is going to think we broke up, or worse, that you're so ashamed of me that you can't even have photos of me up anymore!"

"Ellis, what is going on-"

"And then you tell me that I bothered you while you were away?" I felt like everything was spinning out of control and I could barely breathe. I started gasping for air in between my sentences, my mind racing faster than my heartbeat. I was having a panic attack.

"El, first of all, just calm down and breathe-"

"I'm holding you back. I'm deadweight to you now-" I backed away when Ruby moved a little to get out of bed. I was still hyperventilating.

"Ellis, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm so sorry." She said gently and cautiously, but I knew she was only saying that to calm me down. She didn't actually mean it.

I shook my head, finally leaking tears.

"No, I'm sorry."

I grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter and got out of the house before Ruby could stop me, shoving it into the ignition and starting the car up. I saw the front door swing open and Ruby was yelling my name as she made her way down the garden path, but in a moment of panic, I slammed my foot against the accelerator so fast that the car reversed out of the driveway in a way that could have easily killed someone, as well as myself.

The tires screeched as I drove away, missing a a stop sign and running a red light, all unintentionally. My brain felt like it had stopped working for a moment, but it wasn't until a car passing me beeped did I snap out of it, and slammed the breaks instead.

The seatbelt choked me and for a second I remembered the crash that I had been in with Gia, being flung through the windshield. I realized that had been driving like her. Only difference was that I was not on drugs.

I pulled over onto the side of the road and took a few minutes to compose myself. I screamed, I cried, and I hit the steering wheel a few times. I let it all out, angry at myself for having driven like a maniac and putting people's lives in danger.

All this, over Instagram? I had let the hate get to me. I had become so insecure that I turned against myself.

I talked to myself, telling me that I needed to calm down and drive carefully. I didn't go home, and instead I went straight to the supermarket.