Hers 2 (Ruby Rose)

21| Trustfalls

"I DON'T KNOW... After what happened the other day, I felt like I should see someone about it. Not that I have a drinking problem or anything, but," I sighed, before muttering " I don't know..."

I felt as though nothing I said made sense. Maybe it was because I was nervous. I had never opened up to a professional before. It was much more intimidating than I had anticipated.

"No, it's okay, I understand." The therapist gave me a reassuring smile, yet I still could not see beyond the clipboard and uniform that she wore. "And I don't think you have a drinking problem. I think it's great that you want to get help to prevent it from becoming a problem in the future."

I pinched my bottom lip. "Yeah..."

"Do any of your family members know that you are seeking help?"

My family...

The only family I had was Ruby, and she had no idea. She had her own problems to deal with, and I didn't want to bother her with mine as well.

"No," I said, sounding ashamed by my answer.

She quickly jotted something down on her clipboard. While still writing, she asked, "how about your friends. Do they know what you are going through?"

I already knew that my life was pathetic, and this only reminded me. I didn't even have any friends.

"No," I replied, using the same tone of voice.

She stopped writing and looked up at me. "You mentioned earlier that your partner, Ruby, suffered from depression and suicidal tendencies for a short while. Do you-" she seemed to hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to word it. "Do you feel the same way as she does? Or did?"

This question hit me hard. What if I was?

No, I wasn't. There was never a time in my life where I had thought that dying was an option.

"If I leave now, will I still have to pay the full price?"

"Ellis," she said gently, "I want to help you."

"It's your job to help me."

"And that is why I chose to become a therapist. To help people. I don't want you to think that I don't care, because I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this job, now would I?"

I suddenly felt like an asshole. Tears welled up in my eyes and the therapist immediately grabbed the tissue box that was beside her and gestured it toward me. I took a handful and caught the tears before they could make their way down my face.

"Do you think our relationship is..." it hurt me to say it. "Toxic?"

"I understand why you would think that, but I don't think it is. You two have a lot of potential to make this work. You're both under a lot of stress, after all, so much has changed in your lives-"

I flinched at the sound of the timer ringing. She reached over and turned it off. I couldn't believe that it had already been an hour, and I felt like we had gotten nowhere.

The therapist sighed after turning it off, before turning to me. "Please, make another appointment to see me as soon as possible."

I knew that I definitely would not. This was something I had to figure out on my own.

"I'M BACK," I said as soon as I walked through the front door and down the hallway, towards the kitchen. Ruby was sat on the bench in front of the counter. She looked up from her phone and flashed me a smile.

"Hey,"

It was silent between us as I started unloading the groceries, which we didn't really need but I had used as an excuse to leave the house without telling Ruby where I was going. I decided to keep the therapy session to myself. I feared that if I told her, then it would stress her out even further.