Hers 2 (Ruby Rose)

9| Remember

I THOUGHT I was ready but after seeing her in that bed, wearing that hospital gown and sitting with her head facing down, hair like curtains over her eyes, my throat tightened and I felt a whole range of emotions.

Sadness, despair, relief, but most of all, I felt hurt. Hurt because she had been willing to leave me behind in this world, knowing I had no one else in my life.

I started to think, maybe I wouldn't be able to make her happy. Maybe I couldn't help her, but I would keep trying.

She looked up when she heard me come in, her dead straight hair moving to frame the sides of her face.

I didn't say anything, I just threw my arms around her shoulders and hugged her for a long time. I savoured the feeling of her body against mine, and her lovely scent, knowing that I almost lost it forever. She eventually let out a strangled sound, and when I pulled away, I saw that she was wincing in pain.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, almost missing the chair behind me.

"Could be better." She said, still looking down. I wished she would look me in the eyes.

I glanced at Matthew, who stood in the doorway. He looked uncomfortable, unsure of what to do with himself.

I nudged my head slightly, indicating for him to come sit down beside me on the other chair.

"Ruby, this is Matthew." I said as Matthew walked over, giving a small smile.

Ruby did not return the smile. Her eyes remained cold as she looked at him.

"He saved your life." I added after seeing the displeased look on her face.

"Don't worry about it." Matthew waved it off, still smiling.

The air felt thick in the hospital room, and my throat continued to tighten.

"When can I leave?" Ruby finally said, still avoiding eye contact.

I went to stand up. "I don't know, I'll check-"

"I'll check for you," Matthew said, standing up. I gave him an appreciative smile and lowered myself back into the chair. Ruby's eyes darted between him and I.

"Stop it," I scolded, right after he left the room.

"Of course he has to be here-"

"Ruby, just stop." My voice broke, and tears filled my eyes in an instance.

She suddenly looked hurt.

"I almost lost you, and that on its own has ruined me. And- And all you can think about right now is him and I?" It only took a few seconds to become a mess again.

I clasped my hand over my mouth to contain myself.

Silence, and then she spoke.

"I'm sorry." She said.

I shook my head, my hand now a fist against my mouth. I spoke over it. "What if I do lose you? What will I do?" I couldn't bear to imagine it. If I had never met Ruby, losing Gemma would have killed me too, out of complete heartbreak.

"You won't, I'm sorry."

I blew out through my mouth heavily, swiping at my tears only to smear them and give my face an even more glossy look.

"We're getting out of here. As soon as you're released, we're flying back to LA."

She didn't argue against it, instead she remained silent.

Matthew came back moments after that, informing us that it depended on how well she recovered.

It was silent between us three for a while, each of us trapped in our own thoughts. Finally, Matthew spoke.

"You probably don't want me hanging around much longer-"

I sent Ruby a look, warning her not to say anything.

"-so I'll get going. If you need anything, if you both need something, please don't hesitate to call me."

I weakly smiled at him and nodded my head. "Thanks, Matt."

As he slipped out of the room, I turned to Ruby.

"Ruby, talk to me." I said gently, my fingers tracing the skin on her wrist. She wouldn't tear her eyes away from it.

"I-" She inhaled shakily, "I don't remember."

I frowned. "Don't remember what?"

"I don't remember doing it. Getting out of bed and going into the bathroom. I don't remember." She kept her composure.

I wanted to ask the question that had been on my mind since this morning, my fingers tapping against my chin.

"Do you... Do you regret it?" Did she regret not dying?

"I-" She still hadn't looked me in the eyes. "I don't know."

"Okay," was all I said before I let out a breathless sigh and leaned back in my chair.

It wasn't exactly the first time I had to deal with this sort of thing. My father, before he got into drugs, tried to jump off the bridge near our house. If it weren't for the people in cars stopping and talking to him, he would have done it. I had only been young, maybe around ten years old, but I remember it being a time when I realized something was wrong in our family.

Spencer arrived a few moments later, and I excused myself to give them some privacy and to go pack our things up.

As soon as I entered the room and saw Heaven running on her three legs towards me, having no idea what happened or how sucky life was at the moment, I broke.

I sat against the front door for at least an hour, brought my palm of my hands to my eyes, and cried.

A/N

I know this chapter is short. I explain why on my profile. ❤️