Lose Control

14

I wake up in the best way imaginable. Kellin spooning me, his hand clasped loosely with mine. I roll carefully so I can face him without waking him up or detaching our hands. As soon as I do all the breath leaves my lungs. He looks like an angel when he's asleep.

I can't help myself from reaching a hand out and pushing some of the hair behind his ear. He stirs slightly taking a sharp intake of breath as he wakes up. He smiles at me and tightens his grip on my hand, making my heart go wild.

"Hey," he says, his voice slightly raspy.

"Hey," I whisper back. His eyes seem a bit red and he looks more tired than usual.

"Oh shit," he mutters, blinking a bunch of times.

"What?" I ask, immediately concerned.

"I forgot to take my contacts out." I laugh slightly, again forgetting that he needs glasses.

He rolls from the bed pulling two small objects out of the drawer. One I recognize as a case for glasses, the other looks like some weird broken fidget spinner. He pops it open and makes me groan in disgust as he scoops the lenses from his eyes.

"So sexy," I reply sarcastically, making him laugh.

"Sorry," he replies. "It's not my fault I can't see." I just chuckle and crawl towards him so I can kiss his bare shoulder. He smiles at me and slips his glasses on before kissing me properly. It was incredible, perfect even, just being here with him.

We both get up, in need of water, and he loans me a toothbrush since I hadn't planned on staying. We eventually make our way into the kitchen, me fully dressed meanwhile Kellin wears nothing but his robe. He looks so good. Then again, he always looks so fucking good.

"You're absolutely gorgeous," I decide to tell him. He shakes his head, not replying. "What?" I question the action.

"Nothing," he says, brushing the comment off.

"I'm serious you know," I tell him, forcing him to face me as I pin him to the counter. My gaze drops to his lips as I say, "Everything about you is perfect." I kiss him, to help prove it, but he just pulls away and laughs.

"You're just horny," he assumes. I roll my eyes, annoyed yet again by his ignorance.

"Do I feel hard to you?" I ask rhetorically. He just looks away from me and starts to drink from his mug again. I put two fingers on his jaw and force him to face me again. "Whether you like it or not, you're beautiful, Kellin."

I feel accomplished as he fights a smile, sighing in what I hope is fake annoyance. I just want him to see himself the way I see him. I give up on my attempts to compliment him and instead focus on the empty feeling in my stomach.

"Want me to make you something to eat?" I ask him, heading towards his fridge.

"No, I'm okay," he says. I don't like the answer though, and decide to make him something anyway.

But then I open the fridge and am met with minimal options. All he has is alcohol and grapes. What the fuck?

"Sorry," he says from behind me. "I don't really grocery shop and Tanya's been out of town. Want me to Postmate something?"

"It's fine," I say, chuckling. I pull out the grapes and slip onto the counter beside him. He smiles at me and I take his hand as I use the free one to feed myself. I just want to be touching him in some way at all times, it's so weird. I've never been so...well, for lack of a better word, touchy.

"What?" he asks, after I'd been staring at him for a little while. I just shrug, smiling a little and eating another grape. "You're so weird," he says, kissing me afterward. It makes me feel all bubbly and amazing.