Lose Control

23

"I hate this," Ryan says as Kellin leans into me. We're all sitting on the couch, and I wrap an arm around him. Kellin rolls his eyes, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together as he smiles at me.

"Don't be whiney just 'cause you're not getting laid," Kellin bugs, kicking him lightly since I have his hands full.

"Who says I'm not getting laid!?" he exclaims, offended.

"I'm your roommate and can confirm that you have in fact not gotten laid in over a week."

"Fuck off," he grumbles.

We're watching some brainless comedy to which I'd hardly paid any attention. I can't stop staring at Kellin and thinking about how intense my feelings for him are. He delicately plays with my fingers, making me smile.

I don't think I've ever been so comfortable with anyone before. Every other relationship I'd been in I was always so stuck in my head, but with Kellin it feels so natural. I feel so close to him, it's like I'm not myself when he's not around.

His hand which had been resting over mine as I cradle his thigh slowly moves up my arm, my entire body tingling. I want to kiss him so badly. Stupid Lance.

I'm distracted from my thoughts as his hand soothingly drops back down my arm. His hand rests on my thigh now, coming to a stop. He's being so affectionate today, I love it. I can't keep myself off of him. I'm just so fucking ecstatic that he chose me.

The movie comes to an end and I practically drag Kellin out, saying something to Ryan about getting lunch. Really though, I just want to be alone with him.

"Let's go to your place," I suggest, walking hand in hand down the hallway.

"Okay," he replies, lightly bumping into me. "What's gotten into you today? You're so..."

"I'm so what?" I ask, biting my tongue so I don't spill my feelings too early.

"I don't know," he giggles, blushing a little afterwards. It makes me smile. Everything about him makes me smile. Damn, I think to myself, hearing the crack of a whip in my mind.

"You're such a girl," I tell him. He giggles again, and I swear I almost blurt out those three words right this second...but it's not the right time. The moment has to be perfect. Oh god, maybe I'm the girl.

He smacks my shoulder, replying, "Don't be mean."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," I tell him, kissing his cheek. "I like that about you."

"Yeah because you're basically straight," he says, smirking jokingly at me. I roll my eyes, but I'm not offended. I kind of like when people can't tell, not that I'm trying to hide it. I'm proud of being bisexual.

"Whatever Ms. Lady," I mumble, opening the passenger side door of my car.

"What about my car?" he asks, dropping inside. I close his door and hurry to my side.

"Don't worry," I tell him, half smiling. "You're coming home with me." He smiles toothily and I drive him over in peaceful silence.

As soon as we get there, I head straight for his room. He doesn't argue, probably thinking I want to hook up. In reality I can't seem to stop thinking about Lance's stupid toothbrush in that cup.

"Someone's on a mission," he chuckles. I laugh lightly but don't slow down as I go straight into his bathroom. He follows inside looking at me confusedly. "What's going on?" he wonders.

I pluck the ugly orange coloured stick from the cup and angrily snap it in half, making Kellin gasp before I ragefully chuck it into the garbage can. I finally take a deep breath, calming myself down. I look cautiously over at Kellin, hoping the aggressive outburst didn't scare him or anything.