Lose Control

27

It's been a few weeks since Kellin and I first said I love you to each other. Nothing much has really happened, it's going better than I could've ever imagined. I've never been in a relationship like this before; I just love him so much and he loves me equally, it's crazy. We spend practically all of our time together, I'm fairly certain Ryan hates it. We even sleep together every night, staying in whosever place is convenient when we get tired. Kellin always gets annoyed by my early classes though, and usually whines but hardly moves when I get up.

Last night, we'd fallen asleep at his place after a pretty boring, PG evening. I wake up suddenly as my alarm sounds, my eyes not even open as my hand finds my phone and shuts it off. Kellin rolls off of me, probably awake too. I feel kind of bad for waking him up so early all the time, but he's the one who started suggesting sleepovers in the first place. I sigh, feeling cold without his warm body near me. Despite him having a king sized bed, we both tend to migrate to the centre throughout the night and often wake up half on top of the other, like he just had.

I look over at him, tempted to wake him up for some morning activities since I'm so wide awake and feeling weirdly affectionate today. But I'd feel bad, knowing he has a hard time falling back to sleep sometimes. Instead, I push myself up, leaning over him and pressing my lips lightly against his forehead. He smiles a little, not opening his eyes but making it obvious that he's awake.

"I love you," I whisper to him before forcing myself out of the bed. I quickly pull on some of his clothes—I was too stupid to bring any extra—grabbing my toothbrush from the cup and brushing my teeth as quickly and quietly as possible. When I'm mostly ready to go, I head to the door, glancing over at Kellin one last time. I sigh, unable to stop myself from letting go of the door handle and going back over to him. I kneel, brushing his hair away and making him jump a little in surprise. I lean in, softly pressing my lips to his. He instantly smiles into it, deepening the kiss. I pull away shortly after and his eyes flutter open.

"What was that for?" he asks, his voice raspy and so fucking adorable.

I just shrug, saying, "Just felt like it," before getting up and leaving.

I walk into his kitchen, grabbing some food to bring with me. I'm not really hungry yet, but I know I will be. I pull his fridge open, glancing at the sticky note on the front with things he needed written on it. My eyebrows furrow, suddenly bombarded with an idea. I search around quickly, finding a pen on the counter and blue post its in some random drawer. I have about ten minutes until I have to leave so I hastily write compliments and stick them in random places around his house.

I really, really love you, I stick on the hallway light switch.

I love your job, I write, posting it outside the production room.

I love how you let me feed you, I stick on his fridge handle.

You're just as beautiful with and without makeup, I press onto his vanity.

I love when you drink out of mugs, I stick to the drawer he keeps them in.

I love your history, I peel it off and onto a tissue box it goes.

Your smile lights up the room, I post to the light fixture.

Your laugh gives me butterlfies, I press onto the wall, drawing a little butterfly.