derek's poems

desolation day

I'm insecure 

I'm always unsure 

What am I doing here?

Where is my mind?

I lose it all the time

Wash away my happiness with fear

Oceans will rise

Over my head

So why don't I just

Just drown myself now?

Mountains will fall

We'll all be dead

My screams are whispers 

And my whispers don't make a sound

Why can't you hear me out?

I've fallen hard

Into the dark 

But part of me doesn't want out

I'm in love with it

Why do I love being sick?

Well I don't, do I? I freak myself out

Oceans will rise

Over my head

So why don't I just

Just drown myself now?

Mountains will fall

We'll all be dead

My screams are whispers

And my whispers don't make a sound

I hate everything I should love

Like myself and family and friends

I love everything I should hate

I spend time thinking and wishing for the end

And now it's desolation day

All the words replay

In my desolated brain

It's hard to keep it contained

But I do it anyways 

Don't want them to know I'm not okay

Oceans have already 

Risen over my head

I've drowned myself

And now I'm dead

Mountains collapsed

On top of my hopes of getting better

My screams are whispers 

And my whispers don't make a sound

Why will no one hear me out?

I guess I'll show myself out