derek's poems

blurry

Jacking off in the morning

But not because I'm horny

Because I feel like shit

And really need the dopamine

You asked what's wrong and I said

"Nobody gives a fuck if I'm dead"

And then I listened to the

Screaming voices in my head

I don't know why everything is wrong

I don't know how to just make my own brain shut up

I can't see anything in front of me

All I can see is the peripheral

And it's all blurry

I think I'll just sleep all day

I really hate being awake

Because I know that

If I let myself think then I'll break

But I'm forced to live my life

It's all fucked up and that's why

These days without you

Have me on the brink of suicide

I don't know why everything is wrong

I don't know how to just make my own brain shut up

I can't see anything in front of me

All I can see is the peripheral

And it's all blurry

Yeah my life is pretty blurry

I'm sorry that I make you worried

But I worry myself too

So I guess that it's okay

I got some glasses when I was nine

But it sucks that I am still blind

Oblivious to everything

That goes on around me

I don't know why everything is wrong

I don't know how to make my stupid brain shut up

I can't see anything except my agony

I'm tired of living like I'm dead

And my head feels dizzy

I don't know why everything is wrong

I don't know how to just make my own brain shut up

I can't see anything in front of me

All I can see is the peripheral

And it's all blurry

Yeah my life is pretty blurry

I'm sorry that I make you worried

And I'm all blurry