Beautiful Mess [UsUk / AmeDen]

Chapter XXVII

"Wow, I haven't seen sunlight in a month. I nearly forgot how much I love it.."

Walking out of the hospital and, at last, letting those glass door be shut behind them, Alfred was finally coming back to Yale University. Matthew was right there next to him, helping him carry all the bags full of clothing, art supplies and notebooks that he had with him while he spent his time in isolation, in a small patient room without a window or anything that was in his particular interest.

He looked up towards the bright blue skies of New Haven, only now realizing how much he truly missed being outside and looking around himself, at all these people walking by as they took their slow steps towards the dormitory. Just a little bit more, and he was going to be back. Surrounded by the people he loved. And he couldn't wait.

"It really is beautiful." Matthew glanced at his brother from the side, feeling instantly happier as he saw the younger smile a little bit. That simple action was so heartwarming to him, it managed to free him of his worries at least on a moment. "I can't explain how glad I am to have you back."

"We'll see that once we settle my stuff back in." Alfred laughed at them both, but mostly at himself. Even though he seemed relaxed at the moment - and he was, a little bit - he knew very well that those days of real relaxation were over for him. No matter what he did, that paranoia was going to be stuck with him, and so were the voices here and there. Which meant that he was, from time to time, going to cause his family some trouble, whether he wanted it or not. And he didn't.

Life was going to be much different for all of them from now and into the future. Things were changing at a rather fast pace, and they didn't even realize that all of their current troubles were change. Matthew and Adrienne finishing college, changing their place of living. Alfred couldn't keep up with his old, social lifestyle like this anymore. At least not at the start. He had to adapt to being the way he was before he could get into anymore debate teams, humanitarian groups, public speaking, anything like that. But looking at the bright side, he had art. At any time of day and night (though he did learn his lesson about painting at three in the morning) he could pick up a paintbrush and create a new masterpiece coming from the heart. He planned to use it as a way of coping just like he did for almost the past thirteen years.

As they arrived in front of the dormitory, about fifteen minutes later, Matthew noticed that Alfred was a little bit hesitant to get in. Well, it didn't need a lot of brains to notice it, since he refused to go in and stood by the side, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms, glancing over and over again at the great entrance door. He just needed to get in there, stand at the counter, get checked in, receive his dorm key again and that was it.

But it wasn't that simple. Not to him.

The older American sighed, looking at the tired expression on the other's face, his sleepless eyes giving away all his pain. He approached his brother, and Alfred instantly looked down at the floor, embarrassment washing over him from the fear that he couldn't go back in there. "Alfred, why won't you go in?"

"Because... I'm scared of what they'll think of me." Alfred admitted, letting his bag with the notebooks slide down his forearm and fall onto the ground as he did the same thing, curling up to his knees against the wall of the building. Luckily, there weren't many students passing by to see them, only a couple of those who spent their evenings outside at some really fancy places judging by how fancy they dressed. "I'm not ready to be called a psycho, and insane, and all those words I don't even want to say. I'm more than this illness. At least that's what Emilia said, and I believe her."

"Not everyone's going to be like that. Sure, there are always those idiots here and there, but you are going to be surrounded by supportive people for the most part. That's what matters the most. Stick to those people and everything is going to be alright." Without even rethinking it, Matthew sat down next to Alfred to comfort him, placing the palm of his hand on top of Alfred's slightly shaky hands which relaxed in his lap.