Beautiful Mess [UsUk / AmeDen]

Chapter XXVIII

It was going to be difficult to adjust to student life for Alfred. In a way, he felt like he was new here again, like he was pushed back to square one and had to start all over. Except for the social part, because he was lucky to have great friends who wouldn't leave his side despite anything. But there was something haunting him in the back of his mind ever since he had made the slightest eye contact with the Dutch girl who was supposedly Emma's best friend.

There was something off about her, and Arthur didn't believe him. And that pissed him off. He hated when people didn't believe something he was sure in.

"I'm telling you, don't trust her too much. She's up to something. It isn't every day I see icy glares in people's eyes that stab through my soul. I'm usually the one who sees the positive side in people before anything else." Alfred stood in the middle of their dorm room, a bit overwhelmed by the sheer fact of Arthur being close with this girl who seemed like a fraud, and acted like someone she wasn't. She looked dangerous to him, and he had to express how he felt about her. Even if it meant holding a monologue to his roommate (and boyfriend), flailing his arms around and speaking in a voice that's more shaky than the tone he usually spoke on. He wasn't calm, he just couldn't be.

"And I'm telling you, you're just paranoid. I'm sure Sara is a great girl. You know, this may come off as hurtful, but I can't trust a guy who doesn't know real from fiction. I can't let you convince me that she's a bad person, when just a few hours ago you were released from the bloody mental hospital! I think you know where I'm coming from with this one." Arthur rolled around on the bed to face Alfred who frantically paced around the room with a worried expression plastered on his face, but as soon as the Brit said those words, the pacing stopped, and he could just stare at him. No movement. For a very long moment.

"Excuse me, but... What did you just say?" A serious tone, a lower voice, and hands on his hips as if he was a parent talking back to a child. "I'm not trustworthy anymore?"

"Alfred, you know that's not what I meant--"

"No, that is exactly what you meant. And what you said. You think you can't trust my instincts anymore because I've got a condition. How can you even say that? It's just as if I said you can't hang out with anyone at all because you're socially anxious. And did I ever even bring it up? No, of course I didn't. I actually have some fucking respect for people."

"Those aren't the same things! You can't even compare social anxiety to schizophrenia." Now Arthur was the one to get more than a little bit pissed off, but on the other hand, he couldn't blame Alfred for getting mad at his statement. Perhaps he would be insulted, too, in his place. "But it's true, Alfred. You're not as trustworthy. I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't believe a single thing you're saying about Sara. Though I don't feel like I need to apologize for honesty." Sitting up on his bed, he crossed his arms and glared right back at the American, who still had a face of pure shock and perplexion on his face. This was supposed to be a good day, a time to reunite with the ones he loved, he didn't plan on spending it in a fight with his lover.

In fact, he planned just the opposite.

But he couldn't let himself be treated like he was worth less just because he didn't always feel like he was in this world. That made no sense. He had already grown so sick of the voices in his own head telling him that he was a bad person and a useless human being, he wouldn't take this from other people as well. If he needed to fight back, he was going to fight back.

"I'm actually speechless right now. How could you fucking do this to me, Arthur? I thought I was something more to you! I thought you felt like I do, like we're soulmates, like we can tell each other anything, trust each other... I never thought that you'd get thrown off the lover's path just because I'm not, well, normal." With visible sadness in both his voice and his eyes, Alfred sat down at the desk chair and spun it around so he faced Arthur once again. "Do you not love me as much as I love you?"