73 Memories

The Thirteenth Memory

I'm not going to lie to you, this whole avoid-telling-me-why-you-kissed-me-twice thing was starting to make me mad. I knew that soon enough, I was going to yell at you and demand to know why you would kiss me.

And so, the day did come when I did explode.

I sat with you at lunch that day, just like every other day. But this time, neither of us talked. Needless to say, the silence was overwhelming.
The silence as the same for History and Science. It was okay that we didn't speak in History because we didn't sit next to each other in that class. I could have passed you a note again, but I knew you would just get away with not answering again. You've always been good at getting out of things you don't want to do, which is strangely one of the best and one of the worst qualities about you.

I was angry that day, because of you. Furious that you wouldn't just tell me. But I was also mad at myself, for not having the courage to just come out and ask you.

As I walked down our street after school got out, I couldn't help but hope that I would see you outside your house, or outside mine. I also hoped that you wouldn't be outside.

When you weren't, a scowl and a smile made its way onto my face. I trudged my way inside the house and stomped my way to my room. I wrote down in my journal another thing I would never actually say to you, and then ripped it up into small shreds and threw the bits across my room.

Needless to say, that was a mistake. I immediately regretted it, because I knew that I'd have to pick it all up. So I did. I picked up every single piece of paper. There were fifty-four. This time, I threw it into the trash and then paced my floor, my mind thinking. Thinking.

Should I go across the street and confront you? Should I hold it in and just pretend that nothing happened between us?

I couldn't do that. I couldn't pretend I hadn't felt that thrum of electricity that came with your touch. So, I walked out of my house and knocked on your door.

I hoped it would be you who answered, so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone else. But, it was your little brother. "What do you want?"

I smiled at him, trying to be polite even though his words came out sharp for his age. "Can I talk to your brother for a minute?"

He scowled and yelled your name. I could hear you make your way downstairs and towards the door. "Wha-oh. Hey."

You smiled awkwardly and I immediately wished that it was my first day in this city again. "Can we talk, please?" My words were rushed, just like my movements. I was impatiently tapping my foot against your sidewalk, and my arms were crossed.

You simply nodded and stepped outside, and then your brother closed the door and we were alone. I wasn't so confident anymore.

After what seemed like an hour, I finally spoke. "Why? Why did you kiss me?"

"Why do you care?" You asked, bitterness flowing off your words.

This made me mad. "Why do I care? Let me think about that for a moment. Did you even consider that that was my first kiss? And that maybe I didn't want it to be wasted on someone who thought nothing of it? Or hey, maybe I don't like sitting in silence with someone. Ever think that maybe I need to know what's happening between us?" I tripped over some of the words, and my speech was all over the place, some of it not even making much sense.

But what you said next made up for all of my gibberish. "Ever thought that maybe I like you? Because I do, okay? I do. And I just... it felt right to me. I needed to know what you would feel like. And it was amazing. I'm sorry that it was your first kiss. I didn't mean to take it away from you, so I'm sorry it wasn't with someone that you like."

I sighed, but on the inside, my heart was beating rapidly and I had this feeling inside of me that I couldn't quite name. It wasn't love, but it was stronger than like. But like, well, that was the only word I could use in this situation. "You're an idiot, you know that? Of course, I like you. How could I not? You're really sweet and funny, and also remarkably stupid."

You laughed, and the light that I hadn't seen for a while was back in your eyes. "How much do you like me?"

"I like you a lot more than friends like each other."

And your grin got impossibly wider, and then it faltered a little. "I like you a lot more than I should."

You didn't know then that you had it backward. 

Alright, guys! How are you liking this so far! Tell me what you thing? 

Do you have any guesses on why she's so vauge/ evasive? 
What's happened to her?