73 Memories

The Seventy-Second Memory

I knew the medicine wasn't working before it became obvious to anyone else.

I pretended to be surprised when Dr. Halk told us it had stopped, but I didn't say anything because I was done. I was tired of spending my days either bedridden or on the floor of our bathroom with a headache piercing my skull every minute. I could feel myself slipping away every time I would lay down to sleep. I could tell I had lost another part of myself everytime I would wake up.

I didn't want you or Dr. Halk to start giving me more medicine, because I knew it wouldn't work. So I pretended I was okay so that when he did find out, I was already a little too far gone for more pills to be effective.

"You're leaving me one piece at a time," you whispered.

"I still love you."

"I will always love you," you replied. "But it's so hard for us to watch you leave."

"I wish I could stay," I replied, closing my eyes tightly to keep tears from falling.

"But you can't, and that's the problem."

"Are you leaving?"

"What?" Your eyes went wide so fast I was sure they were stuck that way. "No. I won't leave you, ever."

"Good."

"My brother wanted to come to visit, but I told him it wasn't smart. So did Mom and Dad."

"Thank you. I don't want them to have to watch me die, too."

You nodded. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I don't want you to be sorry."

"But I can't help it," I replied. "I'm leaving you."

"I won't be alone," you replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll still have Emlyn and Laura. I'll even let her move in so she can help me with Laura."

"Do you think you'd ever love her?"

You shook your head. "No. She's like my sister."

I nodded, understanding. "It's okay if you want to find someone else when I'm gone."

"I appreciate that," you nodded. "But I'll never be able to. Because you'll always be with me. I'll never love anyone else like I love you."

I want you to know that it's okay if you do find someone else. As long as you remember me, you can love someone else.