Positive Regard

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Bucky just had to go and pass his psych exam, so he wasn't home when Stephanie was born. He'd left literally the day before. Steve called him, but he was in a plane, so by the time he got the message, Stephanie was sleeping and I was irritated with Steve for complaining that his hand hurt.
"I'll make your whole body hurt if you don't shut up." I warned.
"Yes ma'am." He said quietly, dropping his eyes. "Sorry. Yes ma'am."
"You should be." I agreed.
He put his phone to his ear. "Hello? Yeah, she's here. She's fine--she's fine too. They're both fine--I'm fine too, thanks for asking." Steve laughed and handed me the phone.
"Babe?" Bucky asked.
"Hey. How are you?"
"Me? You just had a baby. How are you? Are you okay? Is Stephanie okay?"
"I'm fine. Steph's fine. Steve's fine. Everyone's fine."
"Okay. Good. Good. I love you--both of you--"
"You mean all of us?"
"Yeah, yeah. Steve too." He laughed. "I love all of you. Write me, yeah?"
"I know the drill, love. I love you. I'm praying for you."
"I know, doll. I know. You too. I gotta go. Love you."
"Love you too."
I handed Steve his phone back. "Don't leave me here alone, okay? You can sleep in bed with me but I'm not staying here alone."
"I won't leave you." He promised.
There was a knock on the door, and after we said for them to come in, Loki stepped inside. I smiled. "Hey, sweetie. How are you?"
"I'm good. And yourself?" He raised his eyebrows, standing uncomfortably in the doorway.
"Good."
"You look horrid."
I laughed. "Thanks, Loki. I appreciate that. Come inside."
"I don't like children."
"She doesn't bite."
"How do you know?"
"She doesn't have teeth."
He stepped inside and closed the door.
"Come here. Do you wanna hold her?" I smiled, ignoring Steve's warning look.
"No. I'd rather not."
"Come sit by me."
"I'd... rather not."
"Suit yourself. But you can't just stand in the doorway like that. Come inside. Sit down."
He smiled his charming smile. "A servant doesn't sit in the presence of his mistress."
Steve looked at him weird. "She's married, dude. Use that somewhere else."
Loki raised his eyebrows. "Use what?"
"You are one smooth bastard, huh?"
I smiled. "He doesn't even know what he does to make everyone fall in love with him."
"Thank you, I think." He came beside the bed and bent to kiss my cheek. "Are you all right, Rosie?"
"I'm fine." I smiled.
"I was going to bring flowers but I didn't know if your infant was allergic or something. So I brought you a card." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sealed envelope.
"Can this be opened without your death?"
"Yes. Why would I give you a card I had to die for you to read? The idea of it is--oh. I did that. My apologies."
I laughed and sat the card on the table. I was holding the baby with my other hand so I couldn't open it.
Loki looked at Stephanie. "Is this Stephanie Taylor? She's rather adorable." His face softened. "May I?"
Steve raised his eyebrows, probably trying to telecommunicate with me that he didn't think I should allow it. "I thought you don't like kids, Loki."
"Don't speak to me." Loki said curtly as I put Steph into his arms. He took her and looked down at her, a slight smile on his lips. It made me want to cry.
I took the card and opened it. When I opened the card, a bouquet rose from it. He'd written a little note inside.
When I looked up, he was looking at me. I closed the card and the flowers went with it, so I opened it again, and they came back out.
"Woah." I said.
"That's actually cool." Steve agreed.
I left the card open and put it on the desk. I looked at Steve. "Why didn't you bring me flowers?"
"Because I drove you here."
"Excuses."
"I'm gonna leave you here."
"How rude, Steven. How rude."
He shrugged.
"Oh, I wouldn't blame him, Rosie. Not everyone is as fantastic as I." Loki said with his charming smile.

When I went home, Steve insisted on staying with me.
"I'm not an invalid, darling." I said over dinner that he'd cooked.
"I know. But I know you don't like to stay home alone, and you've never exactly had a baby before, and--"
"I get it. You're making up for not bringing me flowers." I grinned.
He glared. "Sorry I let you squeeze my hand while you pushed a baby out of your body."
I laughed.
"You're ungrateful."
"I'm very grateful. I really appreciate it." I smiled and leaned across the table to kiss his cheek. "I'll do the dishes."
"No. I'll do them. You go to sleep."
"I can do the dishes."
"You've barely slept for three days. Go sleep while Stephie's asleep."
"I haven't washed dishes in seven months, Steve. Just let me wash the dishes."
He took both our plates and went to the sink.
"Fine. I'm gonna go sleep."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight, love you."
I brought Stephanie up to my room and put her in the crib in there. I got in bed, but I wrote to Bucky instead of sleeping.
It was more of a "mission" than a "deployment." Instead of six months, he'd only be gone as long as it took him to get his stuff done. It was for SHIELD, not the military. He still felt like it was his duty to enlist, but he hadn't done that yet. I told him to wait and see if war broke out in Korea, and then he could. When he got back, we'd probably discuss it again. Maybe I could convince him to join the reserves instead. I really hated when he was gone back in the forties. I hated it even more now--the world had gotten far more scary. Besides, he had a daughter to raise. I wouldn't complain if he went back in, though. I could understand and respect the decision, and I'd survive him being gone. The safety of a nation was obviously far more important than my worrying, and I was well aware, but still.
I put a picture of Stephanie in the envelope with the letter and sealed it before putting it on the table and turning out the light.
I was about to fall asleep when Stephanie started crying, so I got back up.

Tony and Pepper came the next day.
"Look at that, Steve. They brought flowers." I said with a laugh.
Steve dropped the book he was reading onto the couch and stood up.
"Where are you going?" I raised my eyebrows.
"To get you some damn flowers." He growled.
"I'm kidding, Steve. Sit down." I laughed.
"I'm getting you flowers. I'll get dinner too. They have Peter Parker with them too. Want another kid, while I'm out?"
"Nah, I'm good with flowers and dinner."
He kissed my cheek. "You're spoiled, Rosemary."
"I'm perfectly aware."