Positive Regard

Chapter Forty-One

There were at least twenty kids running around my back yard a couple hours ago, but now there were only five. I was looking forward to Stephanie's friend group shrinking more than any other part of her growing up. Tony and Pepper had stopped by while everyone was there. They weren't planning on staying very long, but then Stephanie pulled Tony into the bouncy house with her and they stayed for two hours.
We went to their house at six. Bucky carried Stephanie inside because she asked him to, and he insisted on granting her every wish.
"I have a boyfriend." She said.
Bucky raised his eyebrows. "Who said you could have a boyfriend? What's the rule?"
"I can't have one 'till I'm thirty." She said. "But Daddy, by then I'll be almost dead. Thirty's old."
"Hey, watch it. Thirty's not that old."
I smiled. "Who's your boyfriend, honey?"
"Nathan." She sing-songed. "He kissed me today."
Bucky raised his eyebrows again. "He did what now? What's the rule about kissing?"
She sighed dramatically. "No kissing 'till I'm married. But Daddy, I love him."
"You love him, huh? That so?" He put her down in the foyer, making her do a flip in the process.
She giggled and held her arms up. "Do it again! That was fun."
He picked her up and flipped her again.
"Again!"
"Go tell Uncle Steve to."
She ran over to Steve.
Bucky sighed. "I'm tired. Kids are exhausting. Do we really want another one?"
"We do." I laughed. "I'm gonna see if Pepper needs help with anything."
I found Pepper, Wanda and Vision in the kitchen. I started washing the dishes they were done with.
"Hey. Don't touch that." Wanda shooed me away. "Go have fun. Rest."
"Dishes aren't that taxing. I'm good." I smiled. "Learning to cook still, Vis?"
"Always." He smiled.
We sat down to dinner, and Stephanie prayed for us. "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food. By His hands, we all are fed. Thank you Lord for our daily bread. Amen."
"Amen." Everyone else said.
Tony looked around the table. "Who said amen?"
"Everybody did, Uncle Tony." Stephanie said, like it was obvious, before turning to Wanda to tell her about Nathan.
"No, someone said it wrong. Was it you, Cap?"
"You don't even pray, Tony. What's it to you how I end my prayers?" Steve laughed.
"Well, if you say it wrong, it's a lot to me. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, buddy." Tony smiled.
The door opened and Peter ran in. "Sorry I'm late! I fell asleep."
"Peter!" Steph shrieked, squirming out of her chair to run to him.
"Inside voice." Bucky said.
"Peter!" She repeated in a stage whisper.
He picked her up to hug her. "Hey! How was the rest of your party?"
"Good! I have a boyfriend! Tell me what you got me." She gave his cheek a wet kiss.
"I can't tell you. Then you wouldn't be surprised."
"C'mon, Steph." Steve said. "You gotta eat so you can open your presents."
Tony told her that her present from him and Pepper was at her house because it was a surprise.
"If it's a fucking horse, so help me God, I'll kill you." I hissed at him as I hugged him before we left.
He laughed. "It's not a horse. I thought about that, though. Pepper said I had to ask you first and I figured you'd say no, so I decided not to do that."
"Good call." I agreed.
Bucky fireman carried her to the car, at her request. When we got home, there was a play set that looked like a castle assembled in the back yard. It had a curving slide on one end, and swings and monkey bars on the other. It even had a rope to swing on and a pole to slide down. It was already well past her bedtime, but she really wanted to play on it, so we let her.
She climbed up to the top and stuck her head out, grinning.
Bucky went down to underneath the window and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"
She disappeared inside and came back after a minute, dropping the end of the rope down. "Come up!"
He started to go to the bridge to get on it.
"No, silly! Climb the rope!" She giggled.
Bucky glanced at me and I shrugged. It wasn't like he needed my permission. He tugged experimentally on the rope. After a moment of mental debate and a second request from Steph, he climbed the rope and in through the window.
"Come up, Mommy!"
"I'm not climbing the rope." I warned.
"No, silly. Only the knights have to use the rope. The princesses get to use the bridge."
We played castle for a while before she finally told us she was tired.
I sat on her bed while she picked out pajamas. "We'll call Uncle Tony in the morning to tell them thank you."
"Okay." She put her shirt on backwards and her pants on inside out before climbing up onto the bed. She got in my lap and put her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek.
"Did you have a good birthday, baby?" I kissed her head, wrapping my arms around her.
She nodded. "I had fun. Did you have fun?"
"I did." I smiled.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head on my shoulder. "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen."
"Amen." I said. "Come on. Let's tuck you in."
She got in bed and held out her arms for Puppy. I grabbed him from the chair and gave him to her before pulling the blankets up over both of them. "Night night, Mommy."
"Goodnight. I love you."
"I love you too. Night night, Daddy. I love you."
"Love you too, honey." Bucky said from the doorway. "Sleep tight."
"You can turn off my nightlight." She said as I walked out.
"Off?" I asked.
She nodded.
I went to turn off the nightlight and waited in the doorway for a second, for her to tell me to turn it back on. She didn't, though, so I closed the door, leaving it cracked.
Bucky smiled and kissed me. "We survived."
"Barely." I agreed with a smile.
He put his arm around me and we went to the bedroom. He finally put his pile of shirts in the dirty clothes, without me even having to ask.
"Why are you smiling?" I asked as we got in bed.
"I'm really glad I didn't stay in Wakanda."
"Yeah, me too." I kissed his cheek.
He started to kiss me, but I pushed him away. "No. Let's talk."
He groaned and laid down, closing his eyes and putting his arm over them. "Why's it always talking?"
I laughed. "I just have a question."
"Just one?" He moved his arm to look at me.
"Just one." I agreed.
"Shoot." He sat back up and looked at me, like he was paying close attention, even though he probably wasn't. He probably thought he was getting laid, but it made him pay attention, so I'd let him think that.
"What would you think about me going back to work? Like, after Stephanie starts school back. I'd make my schedule so I'd be able to pick her up and be home when she was."
"Oh." He sounded disappointed that the one question was gonna turn into a whole conversation. "Well, do you wanna go back?"
"I suggested it, didn't I?" I smiled.
"Well, yeah. But, do you want to? I mean, I know you've been a lot happier since you stopped."
"I know. But I don't... wanna sit around and do nothing all day. I mean, I know I'd be doing other stuff. But I do wanna go back. I love it."
"I think you should do it, then, if you want to. But when you're stressed out and crying, don't come crying to me." He grinned, putting his arm around me.
"It'll be fine. I wanna go back. I kind of miss it. Not the stress. But you know."
"Yeah." He nodded. "I got you, doll."
"I'll wait until after we adopt, actually."
"Or. Or we could have another kid."
"Yeah, no. I'm not a fan of labor." I laughed.
"You have a very low pain tolerance. You know that?" He laughed.
"Painfully aware." I agreed.
"Now can we stop talking and do my thing?"
I rolled my eyes. "Boys never grow up, do they?"
"We do not. C'mere."

We woke up that night to Stephanie screaming.
"Daddy! Daddy!"
Bucky got up and ran into her room. I followed, my heart racing. She was sitting up in bed, crying and clutching Puppy.
"What's wrong?" Bucky asked.
She started crying harder. "You're bleeding!"
I jerked my head to look at Bucky. His lip was bleeding. That was fine. "What's wrong, baby?" I asked, going to sit on her bed.
"Don't put your feet over! There are monsters under the bed!" She tugged on my legs.
I pulled my feet up onto the bed, and she came to sit in my lap, bringing Puppy with her. "Daddy'll check under the bed."
Bucky wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he got on the floor to check under the bed. He stood and gave a thumbs up. "All clear."
"Check the closet." She sniffled.
Bucky opened the closet and looked around. "Monster free."
"Look under the clothes holder."
He got back on the floor to look under the dresser. "No monster." He came to sit on the floor beside the bed and wiped her tears. "Why are you crying, baby?"
"I had a bad dream." She pursed her lips into a pout.
"About what?"
"Monsters."
"What'd the monsters do?"
"Chase me."
"What kind of monsters?"
"The monster kind, Daddy." She said, like it was obvious.
"Duh." I agreed.
"See. Mommy gets it."
I grinned at him and stuck my tongue out. "I got you, Steph."
Bucky, of course, ignored it. "What'd they look like?"
She shrugged. "Monsters."
"Well." Bucky stood up, putting his hand on Puppy. "You won't have anymore bad dreams."
"How do you know?" She asked doubtfully.
"Because Puppy won't let you. He's your dream protector."
"But I just had one."
"Yeah, but he didn't have the job before. He has it now, though, so you won't have any more."
"Promise?"
He kissed her head. "Promise."
I stood up and set her back on the bed. "You want the nightlight on?"
She nodded. "Yes please. And leave the door open. Can I sleep with you?"
"Nah." Bucky tucked her in. "You don't need to. You're a big girl. Besides, Puppy's protecting your dreams now."
"And the light's on." She agreed.
"Exactly."
We turned on the nightlight and left the door cracked.
"You know," I said as we got back in bed. "One time I told my dad I had a nightmare and he gave me a pocket knife for protection. The stuffed animal's probably a safer bet."
He laughed. "My dad told me to man up."
"Dads are fun." I turned the lamp back off and moved over to his side of the bed. "You okay, Bucky?"
"Fine, why?"
"Your lip doesn't spontaneously bleed." I smiled.
He wrapped his arms around me. "I'm fine, baby girl."
"Don't call me that."
He laughed. "Don't say I never tried."
"Goodnight, Buck."
"Night, doll."