Positive Regard

Chapter Thirty-Two

Steve came over for dinner Saturday night, because I wanted his help getting Bucky to go to church Sunday. I didn't tell Steve I was using him, of course. Bucky was always in a good mood when Steve was around, so how could I not play that to my advantage?
Kat said I was a "conniving little shit," and she wasn't wrong. Loki would have been proud of it, though. But he was dead, and he was the only one who would think that. Everyone else would just think me a bitch.
I waited until Bucky was half asleep to talk to him about church. We were watching tv from the couch, his head in my lap.
"Bucky?" I whispered, playing with his hair. "Come on, let's go to bed."
"I'll sleep here." He mumbled.
"Come to bed."
He stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hall to the bedroom. We got in bed, and he came onto my side, putting an arm over me and his head on my chest.
"Goodnight." He mumbled. "I love you, doll."
"Goodnight. Love you too." I said, and stayed quiet for a bit before talking again. "Bucky, will you do something for me?"
"Now?"
"Tomorrow."
"Sure."
"Come to church? Please?"
He sighed and didn't answer.
"Bucky?"
"Rosie, darling." He sounded more awake now. He was foiling my plan. "I told you. I don't want to go."
"It'd make me happy."
"You know I'd do almost anything to make you happy. But I can't do this. What's that speech... Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. That one."
"There's not going to be incomprehensible punishment for going to church, love."
"No, but there will be for what I did. How could someone like me go into the house of God, Rosie? It's not right. Can we go to bed?" He moved off of me and looked at me. "Please?"
"'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow.'"
"Don't quote the Bible at me and don't make me get on my side." He warned.
"You won't."
He moved over to his side of the bed, probably just because I said he wouldn't.
I moved onto his side. "You aren't the sinner, Bucky. The people who did that to you are."
"I'll get on the floor."
"You won't."
He started to get up, but I pulled him back down.
"Bucky, please."
"Tell me something, Rosie." He wrapped his arms around me. "For somebody so judgmental, you haven't once put judgment on me. Why?"
"Are you calling me judgmental?"
"Yes."
"Good thing you're right, or I'd have to kick your ass."
"You talk a big game for somebody less than half my size." He laughed.
"You wouldn't hit me back. I could so take you."
"You're right."
"I do judge you, for the record--"
"Then why did you marry me?"
"I judge you off of you, thus excluding the time when you were brainwashed and weren't you."
"Then what's your judgment?"
"Do you really wanna know?"
"No." He laughed. "Goodnight, darling. I love you."
"I love you too. Will you go to church?"
"I guess so."
Unfortunately for me, any judgment I made about Bucky was hopelessly clouded by respect and adoration. That didn't help my case, so he didn't need to know that. I'd won, though, so that was really all that mattered.
When the alarm went off the next morning, Bucky pulled his pillow over his head.
I pulled it off. "Get up."
"Do I have to wear a suit?"
"No."
"Fine." He got up.
We didn't talk again until breakfast.
"Bucky? Can I ask a favor?"
"No."
"Will you please cut your hair and shave before Tony and Pepper's wedding?"
He looked up from his scrambled eggs. "Rosie, darling. You do know he might not be coming back, right?"
I stared at him. "Yes. I know that's a possibility. But when he does, their wedding is in a month, and--"
"Are you calling me ugly?"
"No."
"You get one favor: the beard or church. Take your pick?"
I hesitated. "The beard goes, and a couple inches of hair?"
"Yes."
"Fine. You don't have to go to church."
He smiled. "It'll all be gone when you get back."
I'd assumed he would still go, but he didn't. He was already changed out of church clothes by the time I was leaving.
"You sure you don't wanna come?" I asked.
"I'm positive, darling." He smiled and kissed me. "I have to get a haircut, remember?"
"All right, fine. I'll see you when I get back, then."
Pepper called in the middle of the service, so I didn't answer, but she texted and said Tony was back, so I got up and left.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey. He got stabbed so I made him go to the hospital."
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah, he's okay. He, some guy named Doctor Strange, Peter Parker and some other people were on some planet to fight Thanos."
"Did they win?"
"Yeah. He said they got some gauntlet with stones or something. He was talking fast."
"Is Peter okay? Is Doctor Strange his real name?"
"Peter's fine. And yeah, apparently it is. He's an actual doctor. Stephen Strange."
"Huh. Okay. Do you want me to come to the hospital?"
"No, we shouldn't be here long, I don't think. Thank you, though."
"You're welcome. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay, thank you. I knew you wanted to know, and also figured it'd help you get Bucky to cut his hair and shave."
"Well, I did get him to agree to. I said it was either that or go to church." I laughed. "Now if I can get Steve--"
Someone cleared his throat from behind me. "Get me to what?"
"Don't follow me." I said, hitting his arm. He scared me.
"Rose? You okay?" Pepper asked.
"Yeah, sorry. Steve followed me out of church. So, you guys are good?"
"Yeah, we're all good. Thank you. See you later? And good luck with Steve."
"I'll need it." I smiled.
We hung up and I turned to Steve with a smile. "Tony's back. And Peter and some guy named Strange. And some other people."
"Must be Groot's friends."
"Who's Groot?"
"The talking tree thing. So Tony and Peter are okay?"
I nodded.
"Did someone get Peter home?"
"I assume Tony took care of it. He got stabbed."
"Peter?" His eyes widened.
"No, Tony."
"Oh, okay. Good--I mean, not good that he got stabbed. Good that it wasn't Peter."
"I know what you meant." I smiled.
"Since we're out, let's go to lunch. Do you wanna invite Bucky?"
"No Bucky. He's getting a much-needed haircut."
Steve raised his eyebrows. "Is he?"
"He is." I smiled. "Where to, Stevie?"
He shrugged. "Wherever you want."
Over McDonalds, we decided we weren't telling Bucky we'd skipped church. That wouldn't work well with us trying to get him to go.
"I guess I should go see Tony soon." He said, sipping Coke.
"Can I come with you?"
"I'd be more than happy for you to come and do all the talking."
"No."
"Most of the talking?"
"No."
"Yes, Rosie, I'd love for you to come."
"Much better." I smiled.
"How soon should we go?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea."
"When Bucky came home after being captured in the war, people came to see him, like, the next day, right?"
"I think so."
"But he was relatively okay by the time we got home. I don't know how Tony is."
"I think Bucky was less okay than we thought. But I assume Tony's relatively okay. He survived this long with it, and Pepper said she had to make him go to the doctor."
"I guess we'll go tomorrow, then. Are you gonna make Bucky go?"
"I'll hint that I want him to, but I won't make him."
Steve laughed. "Remember all those social events where you were trying to hint that you were ready to leave and he was oblivious?"
"You're right. Maybe I'll just ask."
"Good call."
When I got home, neither Bucky nor Maverick were there, so I assumed Bucky was taking him out. I was kind of really excited to finally see Bucky's face again. I honestly hated beards.
I would have given Bucky the choice between going to see Tony and going to church if I'd have known Tony would be home. That way he might actually go with us to see him. But oh well. Too late for that now.
When Bucky and the dog came back, Maverick ran and jumped on me.
"Hey." I smiled, petting him but not looking down at him because I wanted to see if Bucky had actually followed through with the haircut.
Bucky came into the living room. His hair was cut short, like it used to be, and his beard was gone. I could actually see his face. I'd almost forgotten how strong his jawline was. I thought he'd look less haggard without the beard, but I was wrong. His face was kind of thin and he still looked haggard, but, as I said, I could see his face.
"Well?" He asked. "Happy?"
I grinned and went over to kiss him. "I'm gonna enjoy kissing you so much more now."
He raised his eyebrows. "You mean all this time you'd've kissed me more often if I'd just shaved?"
"Yes."
"Damn, Rose. Why didn't you just lead out with that? You could've gotten me into church."
I laughed. "Well, you look great. Stunningly handsome."
"Thanks, doll." He smiled.
"Tony's home, by the way. Steve and I are going to see him tomorrow. Do you wanna come?"
"Do I have to?"
"No."
"Are you gonna be mad if I don't?"
"Yes."
"How mad?"
"Not very."
"Then I won't go, if you don't mind. How was church, darling?"
"Fantastic." I smiled.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What was the message on?"
I had absolutely no idea. I'd been trying to figure out a way to get Bucky to church and hadn't been paying much attention. "Prayer."
"Ah, sounds fun."
"It was good."
"I can imagine."
I smiled sweetly. "You wouldn't have to just imagine if you'd come."
"Are you pregnant?"
"No."
"Then I'm not going, darling."
"Fine, don't go."
"I won't."