Positive Regard

Chapter Forty-Two

When we told Stephanie we were going to adopt, she was excited. Less than an hour later, she started pouting and said we had to adopt a boy, because she was the only princess of the family. Bucky told her we could work with that, and we wound up adopting Henry, a ten-year-old boy, the next year. He didn't talk much, so Steph decided she had to talk twice as much.
"You don't smile." She told him one evening. "You should. Or else people'll think you're sad. Are you sad, Henry? I don't want you to be sad. Are you sad?"
"Steph, baby." Bucky said. "Remember we talked about personal space?"
Stephanie moved a little farther away from him. "Are you happy?"
"Yeah." Henry said.
"Do you like it here?"
"Yeah."
"Do you like your room? I helped Mommy pick it out."
"I do." He nodded, then cleared his throat and added a thank you.
She smiled proudly. "Yay! Have you met Uncle Loki yet?"
He shook his head.
She turned to me. "Can I call him?"
"No, not tonight. It's time for you to go to bed."
"But Mommy!"
I shook my head. "No, Steph. Not tonight. Some other time, though."
She sighed dramatically. "Fine. Do you want me to show Henry to his room?"
"He knows where his room is. He doesn't have to go to bed yet, unless he wants to." Bucky told her.
"Why not?"
"Because he's older."
She came to kiss him. "Goodnight, Daddy."
I got up to take her to her room.
"Goodnight, Henry. Can I hug you?"
He looked at her. "Hug me?"
She nodded.
"Um... sure."
She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Can I call you Bubba?"
"If you want to." He sounded uncomfortable, but he was actually smiling.
I took her up to her room and read her a chapter of Amelia Bedelia.
"How come he gets to go to bed later?" She asked.
"He's five years older than you." I kissed her head.
"When I'm ten, I'll get to stay up later too?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay. 'Night. Love you."
"Love you too." I smiled.
I went back down the hall. Bucky and Henry were in the kitchen eating chips and talking about sports things. I ate chips and minded my own business until they changed the subject.
"You doing okay, kiddo?" Bucky asked.
"Yes sir.... Can I have some water, Mr. Barnes?"
"You don't have to ask, kid. But you can't call me Mr. Barnes. That's my dad." He smiled.
I went to get a glass. "Ice?"
"What?" Bucky asked.
"I was talking to Henry, sweetie."
"Oh, right."
"No thanks." Henry smiled, amused.
There was a knock on the door, and then they rang the doorbell twice.
Bucky cringed, probably realizing it would wake Stephanie up. "I'll get that."
I handed Henry the water. "We don't usually have visitors at this time."
He nodded.
"Are you really doing okay?"
"Yes ma'am. Thank you."
Bucky came in with Tony behind him. Tony looked more distressed than I've ever seen anyone look.
"What's wrong?" I asked quickly. I guessed Pepper had told him.
"Pepper's pregnant." He rubbed his hands together anxiously. "I can't be a dad! I can barely be a husband! I can't even remember to feed myself, much less a kid! I don't know what I'm doing. I can't do this. I don't--I can't--I--Rosie, please help me." He picked a water bottle up from the counter and started playing with it.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"I don't know. Make it stop. This is ridiculous. Holy crap. I didn't think this whole marriage thing through."
"Tony, chill out. Take a breath. It's gonna be okay." I grabbed the bottle from his hands and held them still. "I know it's scary, but this is a good thing."
"Is it? Rose, everything I touch breaks. This isn't good! This is the opposite! It's... it's... it's..."
"Bad?" Bucky suggested, holding out a glass of whiskey to him.
"Yes! Bad. Exactly." Tony took the glass and downed it. "I'm gonna need at least ten more of those."
"No." I said. "You're fine. You don't break things, you fix things. And you've practically parented Peter. That went fine."
"That's different. He was, like, fifteen when I got involved. I didn't have enough time to mess him up. Oh shit. Shit." His eyes widened. "Is mental health genetic?"
"Let's take one problem at a time." I suggested.
"Shit. My kid's gonna be messed up."
"Not necessarily, Tony. Sit down, okay?"
He sat down at the kitchen table, putting his head in his hands.
Stephanie came into the doorway, rubbing her eyes. "What's going on? Uncle Tony!" She squealed, running into the kitchen and climbing onto his lap.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, not really paying attention. "Hey, kiddo. Oh. Hey. You're a kid. I babysit you."
She nodded. "And you always make good chocolate milk."
He looked at Bucky. "You. You didn't want kids. But you're a good dad."
Bucky leaned against the counter beside me. "I'd really rather not talk about this in front of my kids, but. Technically I did want kids. I just thought it'd be best if I didn't. But I was terrified. But now I have two, and I couldn't be happier. But, uh, Pepper's probably just as scared as you are. And you just ran out on her."
"I'm going back."
Stephanie leaned against his chest. "You're shaking me."
He stopped jiggling his leg. "Am I being a selfish jerk?"
"A little bit." Bucky nodded.
He looked at me. "Am I reacting better than he did?"
I shook my head.
"Great. My reaction was worse than that of the tortured assassin. Great."
Bucky shrugged. "Well, Steve called me before she told me and told me she was scared and I needed to behave."
I raised my eyebrows. That made more sense, though. I'd expected him to lose it.
Tony turned to Henry, who'd backed up into the corner to watch the scene unfold. "Hey, kid. You okay over there?"
"Yes sir."
"Sorry about that. Didn't mean to ignore you."
"It's fine, Mr. Stark."
"Hey, call me Uncle Tony."
"Yes sir."
Tony turned back to me and Bucky, running a hand over his face. "Rose? Am I gonna be like my dad?"
"You aren't your dad." I shook my head. "If you wanna talk about this later, we can, but right now, you need to go back home."
He nodded. "Okay. I can do that."
"Do you want me to drive you?"
"I'm good. Okay. This is fine. Is she asleep?"
"Yeah. You wanna go put her in bed?"
He stood up and carried Stephanie out.
Bucky gave Henry a smile. "Well, kid. Welcome to the family."