Positive Regard

Chapter Thirty Six

Bucky was still messed up from that night we went hiking. He wasn't going to tell Fury about it and was going to go in and take his psych eval anyways, but I called Fury to tell him. He wasn't going to pass it, so there was no reason for him to go. Fury told him it would be postponed.
He wasn't sleeping again. He gave me a weapon every time we were in the same room. He barely made eye contact and he was back to not touching anything with his left arm, even the dog.
Now was really not a good time to tell him I was pregnant.
I went to Steve's while Bucky was sleeping. Steve wasn't home, so I sat down to wait. I didn't have to wait more than five minutes before he came home.
"Oh. Hey. You scared me." He smiled.
"Sorry." I stood up from the couch.
"Bucky here?"
"Nope. Just me."
"Good. How's he doing?"
"Not well." I admitted. "Like, at all. Does he give you a gun whenever he's with you?"
He shrugged. "I have one. Why? Does he give you one?"
I nodded. "I can't even hit a target."
"Well, on the bright side, you won't hit him."
I threw a pillow at him. "You're not funny."
"I think I'm hilarious." He smiled sweetly. "What'd you come here for, though? Want me to make dinner?"
"No. I have to tell you something."
His smile fell. "Rosie, I know Bucky's kind of messed up right now, but--"
"I'm not leaving him."
"Oh. Okay. Then don't sound so ominous. What is it?"
"I'm pregnant."
His smile came back. "Really? That's great! Oh my God. What'd Bucky say?" He hugged me tightly.
"I haven't told him."
He wasn't going to be happy. He didn't even want biological children. He didn't want any kids now. He didn't even take care of himself, how was he supposed to take care of a kid? Besides, if he could ever pass his psych eval, he'd be sent all over doing God knows what.
"Hey. Don't cry. Come on. Bucky'll be thrilled. Stop crying." He hugged me again.
When I did stop crying, he told me to name the kid after him.
"Steve, darling, we can't call both of you Steve. It'd be confusing."
"Name him Grant."
"And if it's a girl?"
"Stephanie... Granta?"
"Yeah. No."
He laughed. "I tried. Do I at least get to be uncle?"
"Not if we name him after you." I smiled.
"Fine. I'll take either one, since I can't have both." He smiled.
"There you go, sweetie."
"Get out of my house."
"I'm leaving, I'm leaving."
"Do you need a ride?"
"No. I'm not helpless." I smiled.
"Did you walk here? Because I can't let you walk home if you're preg--"
"I'm gonna hit you, Steven."
"Well, I can't." He mumbled.
"I drove."
"Okay. I'll walk you out." He opened the door for me and followed me to the car, opening that door for me too. He grinned as I got in. "I'm gonna be an uncle."
At least Steve was excited. I smiled and drove off.
When I got home, Bucky was making dinner, even though he wasn't really eating much.
"Hey." I said, coming into the kitchen.
"Hey, baby." He kissed my cheek. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Have you been crying?" He grabbed my hand as I started to step away.
"No." I smiled, but I was a terrible liar. "Why? Do I look like I've been?"
"Yes. Where've you been, doll?"
"I went for a walk."
"In the car?" He raised his eyebrows.
"I went to Steve's." I admitted.
"You should've told me. I would've come too."
Why was he talking so much? "No, we were talking privately."
"About me?"
"Yes. We were shit talking you. So you see why you couldn't come?"
He laughed. "Yeah. I got you, babe." Even as he smiled, though, he pulled a gun from his pocket and tucked it into my waistband.
I put my hands on his face and kissed him.
When I pulled back, he swallowed hard, blinking. "What was that for?" He cleared his throat.
"Because I love you." I smiled.
"What are you wanting? We aren't moving. We just moved in here--"
"I don't want anything. Why can't I just kiss you because I love you?"
"Well, I mean, you can, I guess. Rosie?"
"Yes, darling?"
"I'm sorry I've been such an ass."
"You haven't been an ass, Bucky." I wrapped my arms around him.
He wrapped an arm around me. "I have been. And it isn't fair to you. And I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Hug me."
"I am."
"Properly."
"I don't think there's a proper--"
"Bucky."
He wrapped his other arm around me. After a second, he pulled back and took my hands in his. "I'm serious, Rosemary. If I say to get out, you get out. Okay?"
"Okay." I agreed. "I'm pregnant."
He dropped my hands and stared at me. "You're what?"
"Pregnant."
"Pregnant." He repeated, like it didn't have any meaning to him.
"Yes, Bucky. I'm pregnant."
"You're what?"
I sighed. "Bucky. Come on."
"Like... with a baby?"
"No, with a cow!" I said sarcastically. "What the hell, Bucky? It's fine if you aren't happy about it. I didn't expect you to be. But stop saying the same thing over and over."
"Of course I'm happy." At first his smile looked forced, but then it became more believable. "Oh my God. You're pregnant? Oh my God. This is... oh my God--" He cut off and looked at me, his smile dropping. "Is this some elaborate hoax to get me to go to church?"
"No."
His smile came back and he hugged me. "That's fucking fantastic. Oh my God. Damn. I hope none of this serum stuff is genetic."
I pushed out of his arms and looked at him. "What?"
He laughed. "Just kidding. I don't think it is."
"What?" I repeated.
"Damn, Rosie. Stop saying the same thing over and over." He grinned.
"So... you're... not mad?" I asked, just to make sure.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?" He kissed me. "I have to call Steve."
I waited in the kitchen as he ran to call Steve. I really hoped Steve had the good sense to act surprised. Apparently he did, because when Bucky came back in, he still looked pleased.
"So," I said, "Ground rules for when we have kids."
"No drinking, no smoking, no cussing." He said.
I paused. "Do you smoke?"
"No. I'm just trying to cover all my bases. I know the rules, doll. You get to be good cop and I have to be bad cop. Gotta go to church. Freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. No cruel and unusual--"
"Why are you listing the bill of rights?" I laughed.
"Well, I mean, I figured the principles of our nation should apply in our household." He was still smiling.
"Yeah, except religion's pre-established."
"I know." He smiled and wrapped his arm around me again, kissing me.
"New rule: Babies must be held with two hands."
"Not to scare you or anything, darling, but the probability of me dropping him doesn't go down with using two hands."
"It better." I raised my eyebrows.
"Ah, shit, dinner." He jerked away and went to open the oven.
I followed and looked at the black blobs. "What is that?"
"Chicken."
"We should go out."
"Yes we should."