Positive Regard

Chapter Thirteen

Steve was outside the door talking to Sharon, and Bucky was watching them through the peephole.
"He kissed her." Bucky said.
"Ew." I wrinkled my nose, not looking up from Bucky's notebook.
"Ew? Why ew? He hasn't gotten laid in, like, seventy years."
"Neither have you." I laughed.
"Yeah, that's your fault. Your dad was right about you making some poor guy miserable. I'm wretched. And it's your fault." He grinned.
Steve came in and Bucky threw himself onto the couch beside me—very casually, of course. I looked back to the book.
"Why do you guys look so suspicious?" Steve asked.
"We don't look suspicious. You look suspicious." Bucky countered.
Steve looked at us weird but nodded. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna shower."
"Enjoy." I smiled sweetly.
"Yeah." Bucky said. "Wash off the sin."
Steve shook his head, looking weirded out. He shut the bathroom door and Bucky put his hand over the notebook I was reading. "Why's it gross? She's hot."
"Yeah, well, she's also Peggy Carter's niece."
"Ew." He looked appalled. "That's disgusting."
"I know."
He removed his hand, and I went back to reading about the time Bucky and Steve had to to hitchhike home because they spent all their money on hotdogs and some redhead girl.
"We need an intervention." Bucky said after a minute, standing.
"Okay." I said, not really paying attention.
A second later, he was knocking on the bathroom door. "Stevie! We need to talk!"
"I'm in the shower." Steve answered.
"Too bad. Get out."
"Is this a trick so you can get in?"
"No, it's important."
"Can't it wait?"
"No. Get your scrawny ass out here."
Bucky came and sat back down beside me.
"I think it could've waited." I said, trying not to smile.
"Gotta keep the kid on his toes." He shrugged.
Steve came into the living room a second later, a towel wrapped around his waist with shampoo still in his hair. "What's wrong?"
"Sit down, bud. We gotta have a chat." Bucky pointed at the chair.
"I don't wanna be a part of this conversation. I'm gonna go to the grocery store." I closed the book and sat it on the couch as I stood.
"No, sit." Bucky grabbed my hand. "It's not an intervention if it's only one person."
"An intervention?" Steve asked. "For what?"
"You shouldn't be sleeping with your dead lover's niece." Bucky said bluntly.
"I'm not."
"Well, you shouldn't kiss her either." I said. "Just saying. It's gross."
"It's disgusting." Bucky nodded.
"Is that what this is about?" Steve raised his eyebrows. "Okay. Well, I'm getting back in the shower. And when you go shopping, we need peanut butter."
"I'll go shopping." Bucky said, kissing my cheek.
"I don't mind."
"You've had a busy couple of days."
"I haven't done anything."
"Babe, you flew to Siberia."
"So did you."
"Okay, but you had to deal with me and Stark at the same time." He smiled.
I shrugged. "It wasn't like that was that hard. You've had a harder time than I have. I can go."
"I'll go. I feel like I've been cooped up in here for years."
"It's been two days." I laughed. "But go ahead, if you want to. We don't need peanut butter, by the way. There's some in the back of the pantry."
Steve got out of the shower and came to sit by me. "Do you really think it's gross?" He asked.
"Yeah, that's why I said it."
He shrugged. "Anyways. I've gotta go talk to Tony, since someone told him I knew."
"Somebody had to tell him, Steve." I shrugged. "I'll be here reading."
"You know what you should do? Not now, but just, like, as a job."
"What?"
"Crisis intervention. There's a much bigger focus on mental health these days and you were pretty good in Siberia."
"I didn't do anything."
"You were really calm and you handled Bucky and Tony pretty well. Just a suggestion. I gotta go, see you." He kissed my cheek and went out the door.
I picked one of Bucky's notebooks back up. I wondered if he wrote down only the good things or everything.
Matthew and his parents died in a car crash when we were seventeen. Rosie was there, but she only broke her arm. They did all of their funerals together. Granny wanted me to speak at it. I didn't want to, but I did it anyways. Mom told me to take Granny and Rosie to dinner after. I wanted to go home but Mom said she wouldn't let me through the door. Rosie cried all through dinner. Steve came with us. I felt like crap but Granny was worried when I didn't eat, so I ate anyways. What was I supposed to do? Steve and Rosie were there. I couldn't show I was upset.

Matthew was enlisted in the army. He was supposed to go to boot camp two weeks after he died. His birthday was two days after.

I served with Howard Stark in the army. I killed him and his wife on a mission. They had a son.

Steve always tried to lie his way into the army. The kid trips down stairs and chokes at the faintest whiff of sawdust, how was he supposed to fight a war? I didn't even trust him with a knife half the time, much less with a gun. He'd shoot his eye out.

The day before I left for England

There was a knock on the door, so I got up to answer it. Outside was a man with relatively long black hair, wearing a black suit with a black shirt and tie.
I opened the door. "Hi. Can I help you?"
"Yes, I think so."
"How's that?"
"Well, when I said I thought you should go with Stark to find your friends, I didn't mean you should stop them from fighting. That was supposed to be my amusement. So may I watch your television?"
"I'm sorry, but who are you?"
He held out his hand with a smile. "Loki Laufeyson, rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim. At your service." He took my hand and kissed it, bowing slightly.
"Look, buddy. I'm willing to accept a lot of shit, but I'm not quite willing to accept the idea of gods from other planets. I'm gonna slam the door."
"I'm hiding from my brother."
"Aren't you a little old to be playing hide and seek?"
"No."
"Aren't you the god of mischief?"
"Yes."
"Why are you hiding from your brother?"
"See, every year on his birthday, I turn into a snake, and every year he picks me up and I bite him. This year, I decided to spice it up and be a fish, but he doesn't like fish as much as snakes, so I turned into a piranha while he was in the pool and tore up his leg quite a bit and he's far less than thrilled with me."
I didn't know if he was joking or serious, but I thought that it was absolutely hilarious and busted out laughing.
"I'm not joking. My brother currently wants to kill me."
"So why did you come here?" I asked, trying to stop laughing.
"He wouldn't dream of looking for me in Captain America's house."
"Come in, then."