Some people stop along the way to healing through moving on. They become hesitant and afraid of the process and starting to enumerate lots of reason why they are petrified of the process. Let's try to enumerate why some people are afraid to move on or would stop in the process of moving on and starting feeding false hopes to themselves. Let us have a countdown of the ten lame reasons of people who would choose to fool or hurt themselves with lies that to move on. May be you have one or two of these reasons and planning to skip also the process.
First, Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD). These people are literally SAD. They have the great fear of losing a person who is dear to them. The idea or experience of separation for them is like a 'death experience'. They would say 'I can't live without this person' or 'I would rather fool myself than to be separated with this person'. Well, the answer to these people is 'Actually, you can!' You've lived most of your life without that person. So yes, you can live without that person. You just choose to be SAD and suffer rather than to find happiness.
Second, the fear of loneliness. Indeed, the saying 'the only hell is loneliness' is true. We were created to be in a community and not in isolation. Yet, many people would choose the pain of being with the person who hurt them rather than liberating themselves. As monastic saints would tell us that 'in loneliness we will meet our true self and it is in loneliness that we may truly know who we are'. It is in silence and solitude that we come closer to ourselves and ask ourselves: how are you? Or where have you been? Or do I still know you? For only in loneliness that we are able meet our own self face to face without any barriers or disruption, and pretention. For not most of the time loneliness is hell, it is also heaven after being tormented by a lover who never truly loved you. Loneliness must offer a shelter where you can reflect more and love yourself even further.
Third, the fear of not being loved. Fast fact: There are seven billion people in this planet and who told you that you will never be loved again? Is that the lie you try to feed yourself? You are just afraid of letting go. Question, how can you be picked up by the best person for you if you are preoccupied on someone who doesn't even love you? How will they be able to love you if you still love the wrong person? Remember this: the first person who should love you is you. Yes, you. You are the most important person in your life so start loving yourself. God has created you WOW-able and that makes you LOVEABLE.
Fourth, the fear of making the wrong decision. How can you know if the decision is wrong if you are not yet deciding on it? Well, deciding to stay with the wrong person is indeed a wrong decision then what worst could it get?
Fifth, you still love the person. Fast question, does the person you love still love you? Or is it a one sided love? Are you the only one still hoping that everything will be okay? Are you left alone fixing the mess you both made? Are you the only one exerting efforts to make him/her happy in expense of your own happiness? Are you the only one not noticing that person you love doesn't love you back? Let me give you now a simple fact: Love is something mutual. It is give and take. Now, you love the person but do you love yourself?
Sixth, the fear of getting hurt. Really? Then what are you doing with your life right now? Are you happy? Do you deserve that? What do you call what you are experiencing right now? Happiness? No! It's pain!
Seventh, the fear of what other people might say. The hell their comments! Are they the one being mistreated, in pain, malign, disrespected, abused and used every day? Their comments are not helping, don't mind them.
Eight, the reason of having emotional attachment to the family. Okay, and then marry the family. Just kidding. This family that you love doesn't have the slightest idea of what is happening to you. I know you have made connections with them but you must now cut it. You must now detach. It is not helping anymore. The best thing to do right now is to attach more to your inner self and reconnect with life, your family and friends.
Ninth, the sick reason, 'I cannot find someone like him/her'. Meaning you want to look for another person like him/her to make your life miserable? There are many people better than him/her, you just need to choose wisely. You will soon find the best for you, just be patient.
Tenth, something has already happened to us. I know my comments might merit reactions like 'you are not a woman and you don't understand'. Listen, here's my point. If something had already happened to you meaning you had sex already, that action doesn't make you his/her property. You might also ask, if they know that I am not a virgin anymore will somebody still love me? Nowadays, majority of people are not concerned about virginity anymore (except from people who are conservative). Well, not being virgin is not a big deal if a person truly loves and accepts you. It is not the measure of loving. The person will love you and accept you as you are. If the person cannot accept about what you are right now, that person doesn't truly love you. Love yourself too, that's more important.
Please take note, whatever reason/s you are afraid of, that will not make you happy unless you face your fear. Yes, losing is painful but losing yourself is more destructive. Know your value as a person. Know your real worth, for in knowing it then you know how to appreciate yourself and give what is due to yourself.
Bible Verse of the day:
Deuteronomy 31: 5 – 6
5 When, therefore, the Lord delivers them up to you, you shall deal with them according to the whole commandment which I have given you.
6 Be strong and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; He will never fail you or forsake you.
YOU ARE READING
The Art of Letting Go
Non-FictionAre you in a MOVING ON stage? Are you confused and not knowing what to do? Then this book will guide you in a MATURE way of MOVING ON after a break up.
