The Art of Letting Go

Chapter 14 Respect

Respect begets respect. We grew up hearing these words but has not fully grasped it then eventually as we grow old we then understand it true meaning. Respect other people so that they will respect you, that is how we understand it but it is not that way. Then what is it? The measure you respect yourself will be the gauge on how people will respect you. What is the meaning of that then? On the previous chapter, if we should be the first one to know our value then we should also be the first one to respect our self. It is always alongside valuing is respect.

Sadly, people during this time are prey to people who use other people to satisfy their selfish intention. Worst, people under this stage of healing don't see their value hence agreed to be used. How is used and wanting to be used experienced during this period? It comes with the form of ex/ friends with benefits. Some people are actually willing to go beyond being used. They become object and treat themselves as an object for other's satisfaction seeking fulfillment in that action of being used. That kind of relationship is toxic and parasitic. This is just one sided benefit and not a symbiotic relationship. One is being willing to be used while other one reap the harvest. This relationship is not limited to sex but of sucking your time, money, talent, resources, skills and attention. It is sugar coated in the form of favor. A favor once granted becomes abusive.

The reason behind this kind of parasitic relationship is either one or both are seeking their value or meaning in the process. Wretchedly, many are victims of this parasitic act. Since they are at a lost and seeking accompaniment or value then they become willing to engage in bloodsucking relationship just not to feel alone or miserable. Up till now, they never realize that the more they deeply engage in this relationship is that they are starting to diminish their value. Some might say, it's just sex, money and time but those are your value and investment as a person that should be used properly. You deserve to be respected. Prying eyes of abusive people will use your weakness to suck all the life in you for personal satisfaction. Then you find yourself in that relationship still empty and hallow.

The best defense during this time is to shield yourself from abusive people. Cover yourself for parasitic relationship. Most importantly, respect and love yourself. Remind yourself that love is not parasitic but mutual. If you are in that situation, get out! The more you stay in that affair, the greater you are hurting yourself and your value. In that affair, you are just wasting your life on things that will never give you genuine happiness; all are false, fake and apparent. A single moment of pleasure then becomes a lifetime of pain and misery.

The best thing to do during this stage of healing is to go out with friends and family. Find something enjoyable and meaningful. Go to museums, theme parks and beaches. Find activities that are self-fulfilling and increases your knowledge. Go out on a date with your siblings, watch movies and have some quality time. Find an activity that you both enjoy without being used, abused, violated and devalued. Guard yourself. Surround your people who truly know how to value and respect you. Be with your family – we have different definitions of family so go with those you consider your family. Your value is far greater than what you think. Therefore, defend it with respect.

Bible Verse of the day

Proverbs 4: 20 – 27

20 My son, to my words be attentive, to my sayings incline your ear;

21 Let them not slip from your sight, keep them within your heart;

22 For they are life to those who find them, bringing health to one's whole being.

23 With all vigilance guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.

24 Dishonest mouth put away from you, deceitful lips put far from you.

25 Let your eyes look straight ahead and your gaze be focused forward.

26 Survey the path for your feet, and all your ways will be sure.

27 Turn neither to right nor to left, keep your foot far from evil.