February 14, the most anticipated day. Most people, if not all who are in a relationship are looking forward to this day. Some prepare weeks before carefully planning everything. I personally would order special flowers weeks before the day. I would be then planning what to do, the surprises, and a romantic place to eat. I would always want to surpass what I did the last valentines for truly this is a special day for my beloved. Then the day comes, it is a day full of sweetness and care, a day of thoughtfulness and of romance. Love is in the air, as time stood still and you don't want the day to end because of the ecstatic feeling you both share.
This Valentine's Day experience is the same moment when the both of you are so madly in love with one another. When your relationship is still good and there are no problems that cannot be solved. Waking up every morning with smiles on your faces and life is so easy because you have a motivation. Then you plan everything, the children, dream house, the travels and the marriage. Of course, every good and happy experience is saved in photographs. A moment we plan to last a life time but comes the day after Valentines.
The Valentine's Day experience conjures happy memories. The period in our life that is the most euphoric where we promise and plan for many things. But series of small cracks are lingering that sometimes are left unnoticed or unresolved. These series of small cracks or problems slowly creeps into the relationship that causes the most frightening day in a relationship, the day after Valentines. The day after valentines crumbles down all the joyful moments of our lives. In the murderer type of breakup, the day after Valentines manifest in the series of fights, shouting, doubting or also in the form of physical pain. Here, the love and the sweetness slowly diminishes from the heart and are slowly replaced by anger, jealousy, mistrust, pride, doubts, and pain. Numbness starts to creep in your heart from outside going in. Then slowly, those clasped hands of you and your partner are slowly slipping away towards the preference of loneliness rather that to be with the partner. Slowly, love is fading until both fall out of love with one another ending in a breakup. Either both of you or one of you will ask for the breakup. The other one tries to fight but later will concede seeing that all is futile and in vain.
On the other hand, the thief type of breakup is another language to speak. The day after Valentines is a surprise. Same as the surprises one gets during special events in a relationship, so too the experience of the day after Valentines is liken. The shift is very fast just like changing your music in Spotify. Most of the time there are no series of fights, no doubting, no anger, and especially no jealousy. However, there are clues already presented to us that we tend not to notice or observe. Sometimes we notice them and we start to create stories from our minds then we start to question and to ask that leads to a big fight. You might probably ask what those signs are. They are in the form of secrets, of hiding and keeping the phone and the social media accounts, of deleting messages, of secrets, lies, excuses, less time together, coldness, getting mad on simple things, making small issues blowing it into a magnanimous proportion, of getting mad at your attitude/s that he/she was tolerant before, and pointing out on your mistakes and flaws which he/she never did before and of seeing another person, having call names, late chats and caring messages. These are clues we often fail to see because we think they are normal but are very obvious. Since we love the person, we will forgive and understand him/her never realizing these are signs of an imminent breakup. Here, the other person is already looking for reasons to breakup with you then ending up on a lame reason. He/she will do a reverse psychology, placing the blame on you. That shitty thing he/she does would eventually get in to you. Worst, you will accept what he/she is telling you and starting to question yourself and you will find yourself on bended knees begging for the person to stay. I know this type of breakup because I've been here. The thief type of breakup's the day after valentines experience ends up in confusion, crying and on bended knees.
The day after Valentines is the period when love is dying or has died out. This is a period that one is still in the state of shock and confusion. As the most devastated person in the breakup, you cannot just sit and wallow in sadness and in pain. You need to pick up yourself and time to use your brain. You need now to assess the situation for it is happening. There is still the hope and desire in you that you want to fix and patch things up – you are still in the denial stage. You don't still want to give up but you need also to accept that this is neither a joke nor a prank. This is now a reality you need to face and evaluate. Is it really your fault? Can things be fixed and patched up? Is it really worth the pain? Am I willing to look stupid just not to lose the person that I love? Am I willing to sacrifice everything even if I am at the losing side? Is it really worth fighting for? Or I really need to move on now; its dead end. Use your mind and not your heart. Do not aggravate the situation of further hurting or demoralizing yourself. You might end up losing yourself at the expense of chasing someone that you can never chase. You might be in the state of shock but I prescribe you not to freak out rather, talk to someone, and take long walk, attend yoga or meditation. Do something that calms your mind and spirit.
Bible Verse of the day:
Isaiah 43: 15 - 21
15 I am the Lord, your Holy One, the creator of Israel, your King.
16 Thus says the Lord, who opens a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters,
17 Who leads out chariots and horsemen, a powerful army, till they lie prostrate together, never to rise, snuffed out, quenched like a wick.
18 Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not;
19 See, I am doing something new!
Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the wilderness I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers.
20 Wild beasts honor me, jackals and ostriches, for I put water in the wilderness and rivers in the wasteland for my chosen people to drink,
21 The people whom I formed for myself, that they might recount my praise.
YOU ARE READING
The Art of Letting Go
Non-FictionAre you in a MOVING ON stage? Are you confused and not knowing what to do? Then this book will guide you in a MATURE way of MOVING ON after a break up.
