If I Stay

Chapter Seven

I pushed open the door, standing there looking at him as he continued to talk not noticing me yet.

"Oh, really? Yea, anytime... I'd be down. A girlfriend? I-" He stopped and looked up at me, realization of what I just heard him say showing on his face.

I was livid.

"Go ahead Nick, tell her. Tell her you don't have a girlfriend. It won't even be a lie. G-Get the hell out." I said, my eyes starting to water with tears saying the last sentence.

Nick hung up the phone, setting it down on my dresser before walking over to me. He tried putting his arms around me.

"Baby, I'm sorry. It's not what you think. She's just a friend. Please." Pleading with both his words and his eyes.

I pushed him away from me, grabbing his phone and giving it to him. Not before reading three new notifications from some girl named Jen.

"And look at that, she's already worried about you. Probably waiting, huh? Get. Out. Now." I said, not about to cry in front of him. Not about to show the person I loved and thought loved me how hurt I was inside, which was almost unbearable.

He opened his mouth to say something else, and I opened my bedroom door and pointed to the stairs.

"Get out. And don't text me, I'll have your shit blocked by tomorrow morning. But you'll be preoccupied with Jen right? Have fun, but stay away from me." I said as he walked out of my bedroom and out of my life. Which sounds dramatic, but that's just how I feel and how it is.

I walked down the hallway to make sure I hadn't woke mom up, and then went downstairs to make sure he had left. Locking the front door, I went back upstairs to my room.

"Of all people. Of all days. Why me? And I loved his dumbass... Why." I thought out loud, tears finally running down my face.

I laid down face first on my pillow and just... cried. For hours. What did I cry for? Yea, I cried for me. But really, I cried for my dad. That we wouldn't ever see each other again. That I wouldn't ever hug again, laugh with. I cried for my mom, now without a husband and a best friend. I cried because I kept thinking, the list getting longer. I cried because I couldn't stop.

And I cried even more when I realized I didn't know what I was going to do, and that I'd wake up tomorrow without my dad, pieces of my mom, pieces of myself that I'll never get back.

I finally stopped, took a deep shuddering breath, and let it out.