Nasty

2 months in.

Silence. 

Something i was dreading to hear all day and i finally way able to listen to it. Nala and jada was not trying to go down and wasn't fighting their sleep for an hour. it was going on 10pm now and i felt so exhausted i dreaded getting up. Ma came out from the kitchen and rubbed the back of my legs, scarring the shit out of me. "oh, sorry" i said wiping the drool from the lips "thank you for staying this long with us" i said seeing her bags by the door. 

"you know i do not mind baby, but i have to get on the road head to my home" i nodded looking up at the stairs where all the babies laid sleep. Jr and april probably snuck the TV on in the rooms, so i'd have to go check on them soon. 

"i wouldn't have been able to do this without you" i told her

" i know" she laughs "i have everything written out for you so you can stay on the routine we practice, tonight was just one of those night that happens, sometimes the routine gets broken" 

"yeah" i nodded "they'll be up again tonight"

"in about 2 hours" Ma says "but Drew will be here, he's off tomorrow and he'll be taking night shifts so you can get some sleep" 

"No, i can get up" 

"Queen" Ma signs "speaking of breaking routines, you know i will be gone for a while.. which means you and Drew will be here officially by yourselves"

"i know"

"i know you know. but you two have not been speaking and leaving sticky notes on the fridge will not work anymore, you need to talk" 

"i don't think i'm ready"

"nobody is ever ready but you and him need to figure out what's y'all next move. make a mends or break apart, move on or move on" 

"i'll think about it" 

the front door opened, "hey, I'm home" it was Drew and i was already upset the he had to announce that he was home. i rolled my eyes and ma stood. "Ma whats these bags for?"

Drew walking into the living room, pointing to the door where the bags stood. "boy i'm leaving, i got a man waiting for me" she smiles giving me a big hug and kiss and then her son. then walking to the door "oh yeah, Queen has to tell you something" 

my eyes widened and i stood quickly but she shut the door and was in the car already by the time i got to the door. that woman. 

i shut the door as she drove off and closed my eyes dreading turning around. i could feel him staring me down.