Seo; Kim Doyoung

18

I walk up to the place where Felix and i found ourselves 4 years ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

It was a secret garden only me and him knew about. It used to bring me peace and hope. Now it brings me memories both sad and happy.

This is where I ran to after Felix and I got into our first fight. This is where I went to after I found out Felix was a trainee. This is where I was the night Felix gave me that goddamn promise ring and promised to love each other no matter what had happened.

"Hey" I hear Felix's voice come up from behind me.

"Hey" I softly say back to him. He walks up to me and hugs me gently. My arms unconsciously wrap around him too.

"I can't believe this garden still looks the same as before." I giggle to him and he smiles to me taking my hand and leading me to the bench.

"Well, this is a special place to me. So I come here ever so often and take care of it." He tells me while looking down embarrassed.

"Well thank you for keeping all these memories we shared in this garden alive. I appreciate it." I lift up his chin and give him another smile.

"I'm so sorry." He chokes out and it sounded as if he was about to cry.

"What are you sorry for? If it's about the past. I've already forgiven you. There's no need to be sorry." I say trying to reassure him but he shakes his head and speaks up

"No it's not that, im sorry i can't seem to get over you." He tells me and look up finally.

"Felix. We were each other's first love. I'm not sure if I'm even over you at all. If someone were to come up to me and ask 'do you still love Lee Felix' I would say yes to them because no one gets over their first love." I explain to him. His face showed a panel of emotions

"You love me still?"

"Well, of course I do Felix. For fuck sakes we were so in love. We almost moved into an apartment together. Felix we were so in love it hurt us. When we went through a withdraw I always texted you to make sure you got home safe because I heard there was a psychopath on the loose. I wanted to make sure you ate because I know you wanted to be one of those "Idol boys". I made sure you did your homework because I knew your father would send you back to Australia if you failed any of your classes. I came off as clingy and I understood why. But you came off as an asshole and abuser. I had to go home with bruises on my arms because you held me too tight when we fought. You hurt me mentally emotionally and physically. I went through all of that and I still loved you. But that didn't seem like it was enough for you. The first year of our relationship was so much like a fairytale. The last 2 were a mix of heaven and hell. Did you know that I stayed with you because I needed you and I loved you? Did you know I needed you to need me as much as I needed you?"

"Nari. Please don't do this. I'm sorry. I feel guilty as It is. The moment i saw you run out of our room I realized I just lost the love of my life and I did nothing to stop it. I'm ashamed of what I did and if I could rewind and treat you better I would. But I can't."

"Felix, I love you. So fucking much. The problem is I'm in love with someone else but they seem too dense to know." I laugh at my misery.

"Nari, why don't we give it a try again? And if you feel uncomfortable or if your feeling grow for the other person then we break up and be friends." He suggested to me as he gently rubs my hand with his thumb.

I bite the inside of my lip and look at him while he stared into my eyes lovingly.

Twicevelvet gc💞<---