Please Don't Leave Me

Chapter 13

Abuse

Cas POV

Cas and Dean sat side by side on the sofa watching TV. They were not touching each other, but it was it enough for the two fo them. Castiel was never one for being close to someone, but sitting here with Dean did not bother him as much as it did with others. He felt somewhat safe. At the same time, however, he felt as if he was the root of most of the problems that were occurring. He was looking at the TV, but he was not seeing it. He was lost in the memories of his past. His mind was lost to the old tricks his parents used on him to get him to do what they wanted. They used his want to please them against him and he knew it. He did not care at the time though because they were his parents. He just wanted them to love him. 

Flashback

Castiel was sitting in his room after school one day working on his homework. Gabriel, he knew, would not be home tonight so he would have to be extra good to not anger his parents even more than they already would be. He had made an 87 on the math test he had had earlier in the week. He knew father would be disappointed in him, but he really had done his best. Math just was not one of his strong suits in school and was the main reason for most of his punishments. 

Tired from studying most of the night before and getting up early this morning, he laid his head down on his desk and closed his eyes to rest for a moment. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but accidents happen sometimes. Cas was awoken by the sound of his door being kicked open. He immediately looked at the time and see it was seven. He had slept for three whole hours. He could feel dread setting in as he turned back to his father who was standing in the doorway with a menacing look on his face. Castiel knew it was because he had not made dinner. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered before his father could say anything. Not that he ever did he just expected Cas to know why he was in trouble. Rarely ever was this the case.

His father grabbed him by the hair on his head and drug him out of the room and into the hallway to the kitchen where his mother was waiting. Castiel did not fight back, but simply let himself be dragged into the kitchen. He felt as though he deserved what was coming.

"Where's dinner, Castiel?" His mother's voice was soft but had a threatening undertone to it. 

Shivers ran down his spine as his father dropped him to the ground. "I fell asleep while studying..." Castiel tried to explain but it was no use. He knew it deep down it would do no good, but he just wanted them to understand that he was trying his best.

"Studying?" His mother questioned." Well, you failed to do that properly according to your math test score. We don't expect much from you Castiel, but you still go and embarrass us. You even failed to do the two things we ask of you. Make sure Gabriel is home, and make dinner. Neither of those has happened tonight. We are so disappointed."

Castiel was in tears by now. Guilt was eating him alive. How could he let himself become such a failure?  How could he let his parents down so easily without a second thought? Was the main questions he was asking himself at the moment. He was so lost in thought that he failed to see his mother turning on the stove. He also failed to see his father leave the room to get a belt. 

"All you do is think about yourself, Castiel." His mother began again. "You don't even care if your brother gets home safely."

"I am so sorry," Castiel sobbed from his place at his mother's feet, but his apology landed on deaf ears.

"You know we have to punish you, right?" His mother questioned while kneeling in front of the young teen.

Castiel simply nodded and ignored the thumping of his heart in his chest. He ignored the fear that was building in his gut telling him to run. He did this because he thinks he deserves the pain he will receive soon. He doesn't even fight when his father pulls him up to his feet and moves him to the burning hot burner. He doesn't even beg his mother to stop when she takes his hand and hold it over the burner. Only when his arm hand touches the burner does he begin to struggle. He pulls against his mother's strong grip and tries to escape his father's too tight embrace. His screams are the only thing he can hear at the moment as the blinding pain takes over his senses. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his screams die down and his mother releases him. Castiel falls to the ground with tears streaming down his face. He can't feel his arm at all. The nerves at literally been fried. He did not even bother making a noise when his father drags him into the living room. He continues to lay on the ground and take the beating without much noise other than a few whimpers and moans of pain. His mind was numb of all other thoughts other than I deserve this. 

After his father was done, his mother came in silently and cleaned his arm up and then bandaged it. He couldn't really feel anything but watching her move the mutilated arm made him feel sick. 

"Thank you," Castiel whispered when she was finished, grateful that she was caring enough to help him. He felt as if maybe she was not as mad she was before and would let him go to sleep.

"Do not thank me. I am still disappointed in you and I expect dinner to be on the table within the next hour or another punishment will be in your near future."

Castiel's chest hurt. He should have known better than to think he had even taken his punishment well enough to get to go to bed. Once she was done, Castiel slowly stood up. His whole being screaming at him, black dots floating in his vision as he made his way back to the kitchen. He stumbled into the room and began to clean his own blood off of the burner, not wanting to ruin his parents' dinner with his own stupidity. 

Soon the food was prepared and on the table waiting for his parents to enjoy. Castiel cleaned the mess in the kitchen then waited for them to dismiss him. He was dizzy and his head was spinning, but he knew if he passed out, a worse punishment would be given to him. 

His parents came into the room and looked at the food and then the battered boy standing in the corner. Castiel watched them anxiously, hoping to have made up for ruining their night with the dinner he made. They both sat and began eating. Turning to him, they told him he could leave, but was not allowed to have dinner for the night since Gabriel was still not home. 

Quickly, Castiel went back to his room to continue studying despite his body's complaints. He had to make a good grade on his next test so his parents might be proud of next time. He hated that he was the reason they were always so upset. He just wanted them to be proud to have him as a son. He just wanted them to love him.