His Mistakes

Part 20

(Lance's Point of view)

I could hear from outside the room that Pidge was letting Keith listen to the recording. 

Is your voice always annoying when you listen to it recorded?

But once I heard it end, I knew that he had listened to the entire thing and he knew how I felt, but he still didn't know that I was there. I thought maybe it was a good chance to walk in. 

So I did.

Hearing me enter, he looked over with his wide eyes, tears in them and falling down his soft pale cheeks. I only stood there for a moment and looked at him. I was so terrified of what he might say to me. Was he angry? Betrayed? I couldn't read the expression on his face at all. It was just kind of...surprised..in a way. Pidge and Hunk were looking away from me.

Why?

I watched as Shiro stood from the plastic chair next to the hospital bed. He walked in my direction and as he passed me, I felt him put his gentle warm handle on my shoulder. I guessed it was meant to be encouraging. 

Not but a few seconds after, the others followed him outside of the room. 

When I heard the door shut, I knew we were alone. I looked back to Keith, whose eyes were now staring blankly down at his bandaged hands. I took the awkward silence as an opportunity to make my way across the room. Instead of sitting in the chair, I seated myself on the edge of the bed. I looked away from him, not wanting to see his hurt face...his sadness..anger...whatever kind of emotion he held toward me. 

I glanced over just once to hold his hand gently. I expected him to jerk away or tell me not to touch him..and honestly..I wanted him to. I wanted him to because I deserved it. But he didn't. Instead he stayed quiet and let me hold his small hand in mind. I softly rubbed it before bringing myself to look at him for a second. He was still watching his hands. Mine and his this time. But he still said nothing. 

I thought about apologizing again, but I knew it would mean nothing to him. 

It meant nothing to /me./

I turned to look at him again. This time, he caught me staring and met my eyes. His were so beautiful; violet, with a small tint of navy blue in them. They sparkled like the stars in the night sky. I wanted to see them happy again. I wanted to see him smile again. And the reason he couldn't was because of me.

I pulled my eyes away again, but They were soon jerked back to Keith as I felt him squeeze my hand tightly. And it wasn't in an angry way. The squeeze felt loving and almost scared. 

When I looked at his face,he was smiling. 

He was...smiling.

Despite everything I had done to him..

I didn't know what to say. 

I didn't need to say anything.

All I could do was smile back. That smile ended in tears.

Positive tears.

And I hugged him. 

Just by the way he sunk his face into my shoulder, I knew that he had forgiven me.

I felt him grip at my shirt with his shaky hands and for the first time, I think I heard him crying. It was a muffled cry, of course. 

And even when physically and mentally broken, Keith Kogane was still the most beautiful man I've ever seen.