His Mistakes

Part 11

[WARNING!! From this point this is going to get really depressing VERY quickly-as if it wasn't already sad enough. If you have depression, I recommend you take caution when reading the rest of my story]

(Keith's point of view)

I didnt know what to do after running out of the library. I wanted to run somewhere, anywhere. Anywhere but near people. There weren't many in the halls, considering how it was after school hours and on a Friday. The few people I did see were janitors. One tried asking if I was okay. I hated ignoring her, but i didnt want to explain the situation so I rushed past her.

The place my legs carried me to was up the 3 flights of stairs and to the roof. I opened the door that led there and walked over to the ledge, peering down at the ground below. The benches looked like small rectangles from where I was looking, the trees were fluffy green cotton balls. My eyes gazed up at the sky. Soft shades of pastel pink and orange colored the clouds and the sun just barely peeked over the horizon. I could almost see it yawn as it very very slowly sunk down deeply.

Thinking back on what just happened, I realized that I could never come back from this and be okay. I could never expect Lance and I to be okay, even as friends. Pidge and Hunk had witnessed the two of us lashing out at each other. They witnessed me at my most vulnerable. They wouldn't be okay after this. No one would. 

I didn't want Shiro to know what happened. I didn't want anyone to know what happened. 

I had nothing to live for anymore. My dad was dead, my mom gone, no siblings, no family, hardly any friends, let alone the ones that knew what happened will never be the same.

I can never be the same.

I wanted to die. Those words kept whispering to me inside of my head, telling me to take flight.

|\][{Come on, Keith}][\| 

||||It's Not that far of a jump. Don't be scared||||

I wasn't scared. Not if dying. I was scared, however, of other things. I was scared of everything. But death...no, death wasn't one of them. How could I be scared of the thing I wished for all along?

I began to lean forward, but a sound behind me startled me and I regained my balance again. 

I turned to look and saw Pidge and Hunk standing right behind me. The look on their eyes was a look I had never seen them express before. It was a sincere sense of fear...sadness..regret..

 "Keith!" Hunk shouted, taking a step forward. 

 " no please...Go away! Both of you! " I shouted back, endless tears flowing down my cheeks. I no longer cared about crying in front of them. It would be all over in minutes anyway.

 "Please..go away...You shouldn't see something like this.." 

 " No! We're nothing leaving! No without you! " Pidge shouted back. "Yeah, Lance is an asshole! He's too much of a pussy to stop you himself!" She continued, stepping in front of Hunk.

 " there's nothing here anymore! We can't be the same again! It's just not possible! No one recovers from this kind of thing! "

 "Maybe not...But there are such things as second chances. And we can all start over"

 "And act like this never happened?! Pidge, you and me both know that that's impossible!"

 " Please, come back, Keith! " Hunk yelled. 

 "I cant." I said quietly, turning to face back to the sunset, tears coating my cheeks more lightly now. 

I leaned forward.

I felt the hands of Pidge and Hunk slightly brush against my jacket as my feet left the ledge and I could feel myself drifting through the air. I closed my eyes. 

I heard screams, but only for a few seconds.

I knew it was selfish of me. But there was no other way. There was no way I could possibly get my old life back.

It's not worth living if the person I was sure I was in love with hates me.

And yeah, I may have been afraid of love...But Lance meant a lot to me. He was the thing that kept me going every day. I always looked forward to seeing his stupid pretty face, his ocean eyes, caramel skin...

Maybe it would have been better to watch from afar.

I'm so fucking selfish... 

A/N: (Okay Don't get too sad yet!! Keep reading on!)