His Mistakes

Part 15

Lance entered the hospital room with the most suspenseful feeling inside of him. He knew Keith was still unconscious and he probably couldn't hear him if he were to talk to him, but it wouldn't hurt to tell him all of the messed up thought a he had been having ever since the incident happened.

Lance stopped and looked back, feeling Hunk's eyes following him. The taller boy stood in the doorway and nodded. Pidge was at his side, more calm that she had been while talking to him in the hallway. 

Lance turned back to the hospital bed, which was concealed by one of those curtains that surgeons used when they were in operation. There was no doubt that they definitely had to do a bit of that in Keith after his fall.

Lance could only see the silhouette of the bed and a lump on it through the curtain. He slowly and gingerly moved his hand towards it and peeked around it.

Sure enough, there was Keith lying in the hospital bed. And Lance admitted, he looked horrible. His black hair was a hot mess, sticking it every which way, his skin was paler than usual, eyes closed and a breathing tube over his mouth. 

Lance felt his body ache just by looking at him. But he brought himself enough energy to step over to the bed and sit on the edge. He badly wanted to take his eyes away from Keith, but he couldn't. His eyes trailed down to his small hand, which had the IV. Lance hesitated before gently placing his hand over Keith's.

 "Hey..." He said quietly, his breathing heavy and nervous.

 for a moment there was silence. Only the beeping of the heart monitor sounded in the room. Lance hated that sound, but it was hard to ignore when all he saw it as was Keith's life just barely holding on. 

 "Aha...I don't know how to say this.." He whispered to him, gently running the boy's hand with his thumb. 

 " It's because of me that you're in here...and...there really is no way for me to show just how sorry I am...I don't need you to forgive me..I just need you to listen and know that no matter how little these words mean, I really truly am so so sorry, Keith...you had no right to be told those sort of things..no one does. And...I guess the reason I said those things is because I was scared...I still am scared... I'm scared because I knew something was there and I saw the little hints you left for me, but I was too stubborn to accept that you of all people could like someone like me.And...I was scared because never had never liked a guy before...not before you..so when you confessed to me, I panicked. I know my family would never accept me if I told them that I liked a guy...

"But...please know that..I love you, Keith. And it's probably not obvious right now because of everything I've done to you...But just know that everything I'm saying now is true. I've never been more honest in my life. And if you ever forgive me...I want to go somewhere with you. Anywhere. And we can do anything. Because as long as I live, I'll still be apologizing to you, knowing it'll never be enough. And that thought will be the last thought on my mind when I die...I just wish you could at least hear me...I wish I could talk to you and you say something snarky back to me..I miss hearing your comments about me being the definition of cringe..." 

Lance was crying. 

He was crying and gripping Keith's small hand as tight as he could.When he let go, he watched the circulation begin to come back as it transitioned from white back to a light shade of pink. 

 "Listen..um..I have to go now..but..I'll come visit tomorrow, okay?" He said softly, standing from the bed and leaning over to place a small kiss on his forehead. He began to walk away when he turned back again and one else beside the hospital bed, opening Keith's motionless hand to close his fingers over a small object. After that, he stood and left with a small smile on his face.He

He closed the door to the room and looked up to see the three standing there, looking much less angry than before.

 "Guys, I--"

 "Don't worry about having to say your little preach again," Pidge cut in, holding up her phone. "I recorded the audio" 

Lance was in fact embarrassed that they listened in on him, but then again he deserved the embarrassment after everything he had done.

 "I'll let him listen to it when he wakes up" She finished with a smile.

 "Thanks.."