Unbroken Love

20

I look down and see Newt on the ground, crouched.
Oh no he sees the blood! He's going to look up and see me!
I was right. Newt looked up and saw me, leaning against the tree with a knife in my hand, blood covered in the other one. I acted though as if I didn't know he was there. As soon as I knew Newt was eventually going to look up I pretended like he wasn't there. Staring off into the distance, I waited for Newt to call out. What seemed like hours go by, which was actually just a few minutes, Newt finally spoke

"Au-gust."

Newt's voice broke as he called up to me. I slowly looked down to see him staring up at me, his eyes filled with worry and sadness.

"August. Stay there I'm coming up."

Why did he have to find me, now I would have to stop cutting my wrists, that's where it hurt the most for me. A small part of me wasn't angry that Newt found me though, now I wouldn't have to keep pretending I was okay. It probably didn't seem like I was anyways though. I never smiled voluntarily. I didn't talk much, only to Ably, Minho and Newt. I spent way too much time with my own dark thoughts. But now, someone would know I'm not okay, and I could get help.

A few minutes later Newt sat next to me on my branch. He was silent for a while, until he spoke.

"How long has this been going on?"

He sounded sad and worried. Why would he be worried?

"How Long, Has This, Been Going On August?"

I jumped a bit. His voice was stern and louder this time. I wasnt expecting him to be so loud, I didn't know he could be so, disappointed. So angry.

He saw me flinch and his face immediately softened.

"I'm sorry August. "

We were silent for a while. Well I hadn't spoken yet, so he was silent for a while. After about 10 minutes, he spoke softly

"Can I see?"

I couldn't look at him. I couldn't see the disappoint in his eyes, it would be worse than Gally's. I lifted my arm and moved it in his direction, still looking the other way. He carefully picked up my arm and inspected it.
I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this. He could never understand so why is he being so nice?

After an eternity of exposing my shame to him he spoke, sounding angry

"A year?"

I put my head down.
How would he know what one year old scars look like?

"A year, August?!"

I kept my head down and spoke.

"You're mad?"

My voice cracked. Then he spoke, his voice also cracking

"No no no love I'm not mad. It's just... Why wouldn't you tell me?"

I kept my head down and answered

"You wouldn't understand"

Silent tears where streaming down my face now, but he didn't see and continued to speak

"August look."

He took off his bracelets and held out his arm to me. There were so many scars.

After a while, I asked him a question.

"When did you stop?"

He was quite for a bit, but then spoke hesitantly.

"The day after you came up in the box."