The More I Try (An One Direction Fan Fiction)

We Can Still Win (Chapter Fifteen)

It was hard to forget what was happening as Zayn tried to enjoy the rest of his time at Harry's family home.

But somehow his time wasn't half-bad, spent mostly relaxing in a quiet manner. Just talking and sitting around. Zayn felt that he wouldn't really be able to handle moving around, or anything like his usual schedule.

Everyone still thought something was slightly different with him though.

They must've been so confused as to why Zayn was suddenly becoming angry and defensive when Thalia was mentioned- the exact opposite of the dreamy state he used to go into.

The worst part about their whole stay was actually telling the boys about the situation.

None of them had been using their cellphones or laptops or anything during their stay- so they were still in the dark. Louis broke it all to the boys when Zayn asked him to for him, and Zayn was just sulking in the corner as the boys took out their devices to read up on it themselves.

First came all the apologies, and then just a general depressed moment as all of the boys blamed themselves.

"Did we really do this to her? It's everywhere, and just because we were friendly to her!" Liam sounded the most distressed over this, next to Zayn.

"It's not your fault Liam-" Louis started, getting cut off as Liam continued.

"Yes it is! I'm the one that set it all up with her!"

The room fell into silence for a moment, and soon enough Louis was explaining more past the actual hate.

"Zayn is taking years to break this all to her, since she doesn't even know how famous we are yet."

"I think I read something like that. That she was a hermit-"

"Harry, shut it."

The head in the room all snapped around to face Zayn, who'd just growled and was now glaring. His face looked annoyed, angry, stressed and scared all at the same time. A mostly angry and defensive look surfaced as Zayn started on Harry.

"None of this shit is true- let's get that straight first." Zayn said, in a none to gentle tone of voice. He had assumed that Harry would be treating this with the most sensitivity, since he knew exactly what it felt like.

They all did.

But really Zayn felt that even talking about it was out of his comfort zone at the moment. Right now Zayn had gotten through the sad and depressed stage, and now he just felt like punching anyone who said anything about Thalia.

He didn't even notice how attached he was becoming to her.

He didn't realize how he wanted to be with her during every moment of the day.

He didn't notice how much he just wanted to see her smile.

He didn't see how he wanted nothing more to protect her.

"Well, the most true thing we can bring out of this is- that our fans must be the most insane fans in the world. Just flat, fricking crazy." From across the room Niall started talking, speaking softly as he rubbed at his face- looking stressed.

"But what can we do?" Harry spoke warily and slowly, watching Zayn carefully. He was seated half on and half off his chair, as if he was preparing himself to start moving. Like he was ready to run.

Zayn only noticed that then, wondering if he really looked that threatening. Groaning, he sunk back into his chair- matching his band mates looks of defeat.

"Is there anything we can do? Tomorrow we're going to stay at that house we bought- where we'll stay for the next couple months. We'll do some damage control from there, but I can't see much more we can do."

Giving Zayn an apologetic smile from across the room, Louis gave his opinion quietly before sinking back into his own chair and falling silent.

"What if this gets more serious? These fans hate her more than anyone ever hated anyone. She's probably more hated globally than Osama bin Laden was, and it's all because of what some assholes posted on the Internet! We've ruined her life- how could-"

"Zayn. Calm down."

Looking down at Niall, Zayn only just noticed he'd stood, and was pacing violently. All of the other lads looked- frightened, as they watched him. They looked at him as if they thought he was about to lash out wildly, and honestly Zayn felt like doing just that.

"Zayn, come here- will you?" Niall spoke softly, standing and gesturing for Zayn to follow him as he left the room- glancing expectantly over his shoulder.

Staring at the ceiling for a moment in attempt to get his emotions in check, Zayn soon followed Niall without looking at any of the other boys. In that moment he spent calming himself, he realized how odd he must've looked; suddenly becoming so angry.

The first thing that came to mind was a girl PMS-ing. And even though that thought was so immature and rude, it made him smile for a tiny moment, the first in a while.

He barely looked at Niall once they were both seated across from each other in the dining room- the boys taking the hint and staying out of sight.

Drumming his fingers on the table, Niall only watched Zayn as he waited for his blond friend to speak. Shifting in his chair, Niall only stared at Zayn with soft eyes. Eventually Zayn got bored with just sitting there, and settled back into his chair.

"Niall." He said, hoping that his friend would say something.

"Zayn. How are you feeling?"

The question was a perfect thing to ask right then, and very suddenly Zayn felt as if all of what he was feeling was crawling up his stomach and throat to get out of his mouth. With a dull thud Zayn's forehead went to rest on the table.

Niall only sat silently as Zayn took a moment, clamping his eyes shut as he felt he might actually cry.

"This isn't fair-" Zayn started, stopping once his voice cracked.

"Life isn't a fair game, Zayn. But we can still win."

For at least ten minutes both boys sat silently, Niall letting Zayn take all the time he needed before he could speak again.

"I feel like I killed someone. And not just someone, someone I know and someone I love. It's as if just by liking Thalia, I've put a gun to her head." Zayn finally spoke again, his voice quiet but hushed even more as he kept his face down.

"Do you know what's the worst thing you could do right now?"

"What's that?"

"Pretend you don't love her. You see it in movies and books; the main character breaks up with his love interest to protect her/him. Don't do that Zayn.

Don't pretend you don't love her."