Fuzzy thoughts

Busted

*2ds pov*

What did I do? 'Filthy piece of shit'. What did she do? Why did you hurt us? I woke up in a rush of fear and pain. Aghh! I grabbed my side, but the pain was spread all over me, my head pounded. I have I been waking up like this? I attempted to stand, but my legs were too weak and I came crashing down to the cold hard floor. I laid there looking at the ceiling. What did I do? Are....are we...we no longer....*sniffle* dating? The words pained me, something shattered within my chest, like all hope was lost. Hopes not lost!! I...I still have Russel and...noodle!! I slowly got up, my bones making cracks, some hurting but I ignored it. Noodle is she okay?! I ran to her room, limp in each step, up every step. I must admit, I probabaly looked like a zombie back from the dead. Why was I down stairs? I knocked on the door, leaning my whole body against it, still holding my stomach. It's hurts, like, like I'm going to throw up! The door vanished and I tumbled in.

"Toochi!!" Gentle hands were instantly around me, helping me walk to a bed. I looked at her, a big bruise on her cheek some caught her eye. She had a little limp in her walk as well. She sat me down on the bed, she went to turn around but I caught her wrist, I made her turn around and I cheeked her bruises.

"Are you o-okay?" I held the tears back...I'm so weak...so pitiful. I couldn't even protect her!! He's a jerk! I knew he couldn't keep that smile...the kind words!!! She nodded, her arms wrapped around me.

"It's fine. I'm okay. Everything is okay."I hugged her back wrapping her in a tighter hug, it pained me, but not as much as my heart did. Tears fell from my dark eyes, my heart.....was no longer there..... I wish I can rip it out! It's hurts.

"I'm so sorry! I....I could protect....you!" My breathing hitched, I was breaking down"he....he really is a...a monster! I don't even know....know why he did this!....I don't... know I-if we're still...dating!!" She hugged me tighter.

"I'm...sorry. It's not your fault." She was at a complete lost for words. She didn't know what to do this time, it was different. She didn't feel rage, she wasn't happy, she couldn't cry. Her heart was broken as well. Why murdoc? We all thought you change! We thought we could move on from those awful days!
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Russel came in not too long after. He was at a lost of words as well. He must have thought the same as noodle. He changed. I guess that's what we all thought. I was truly happy. When ever he was with me. But I guess...deep down, I was waiting for him to turn. It was inevitable. It wasn't like I was supposed to have a lover......

I dumped my head under the cold water. I had been on the bath for a long time. The water was tinted red, more blood was coming from random parts on me. Bruises, purple, brown and black, like old times. Right? They mix in with the old scars of the past.

     I bring my head up from the bloody water. My hands shake, fingers pruny and scared from the cigars. What did I do? He had my journal. I know he doesn't like the songs I make. He never did. I didn't know they were that bad. I stood up, draining the tub and walking over to the white ragged towel that sat next to my clothes. My stupid mind! Being fooled by him, his seductiveness caught me in a cage, keeping me there until I trusted him.....then he got bored......?

     I limped through the hallway, struggling to breathe trying to manage the short walk to my room. I glanced at the area where I sat before I fell unconscious. Crimson stains on the floor and wall. I looked at my journal, spots of blood soaked into the black cover. Spinning through the pages, looking at my old songs, I found one of my old favorites. Rough around the edges. Still manageable. It....there's no way to hide what I feel in this song. I no longer cared. I wrote what I felt. What I felt after el mañana. The last time he beaten me up this badly. I thought I lost noodle. I couldn't protect her. Russel left. He was heart broken. It's like the same. But this time it's.....its my fault? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Murdoc blamed everything on me last night. Maybe I should go ask him......... The fire burning his Murdoc's eyes, his clenched teeth, his vain pooping out his forehead. It made 2d turtle, wrapping his legs with his arms, intimidation sinking down his spine, causing sweat to run down his forehead. I....I...s-should. Maybe...once I feel better. I sinked into my bed, hiding under all the covers. The coldness, overwhelming me, it's scary, loneliness. I couldn't sleep, I felt like someone was watching me, my every move. I felt like they could read my mind. What did I do? Guilt crossing into the fear. The cold sweat picking up again. I went to my journal, flipping through the messy pages, forgetting the song that I had just finished. What is in here? What did I do to him? I landed on the last page. My blood running cold. 'Piece of shit cheated on me!' I frantically jumped off my bed, falling flat on my face. I ignored the pain shooting through my body. My lanky legs running to Murdoc's room. I slammed on his door, yelling that 'it was a misunderstanding. Let me explain' pleading.....but no response. I fell to my knees.

     It's a misunderstanding! Please open up!! Tears falling from my voidless eyes. Crying was normal to me now. I have been doing it a lot lately.

     "D!! What the heck ya doin!!" I turned around. Seeing Russel, he noticed my eyes, they were a fountain for tears.

     "It...its w-was a misunderstanding!! Where-where's murdoc!" He looked at me confused.

     He shrugged"he went to the bar after beating you up. He hasn't come back yet." He sat down next to me. Told me to explain everything, hesitant at first, I told him about me and murdoc being together for that short time.
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     "Alright, well. If I see him. I'll make sure to tell ya. Now come on" he stood up, heading towards the stairs"Come on, you haven't eaten anything for a while. Noodle finished making dinner."

     I sat, an embarrassing look crossing my face. I put my arms out like a little kid"help..." just like a little kid.
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     After dinner, Russel setted up my temporary bed, the couch. I could really move after all the running, it was like I was paralyzed. Any little movement hurt. I was stuck, doing nothing but sing my songs out of my journal. Where..do they come from? The ones that connect to us, weightless...The new song I had been working on earlier. It kind of describes my life in a way. Nothing hiding, this time.

     Deep in through, the creek of the front door took me out of my hazed dreams. I looked through the darkness that engulfed the room. The smell of alcohol burning my nose.

     "Ahh! Murdoc wait!!" I tried to stop before he went upstairs. He turned around. A car light filled the room, making me able to see him, but someone else was there...a short stubby woman next to him, she had long black hair.

     "What'sya problenmmm faceache?" His word's slurred. I couldn't continue. I slumped back into the hard couch, curling into a ball. My blanket that covered me muffled my sobs and my messy breathing.