Fuzzy thoughts

Wandering

The lights turn from one colour to the next rapidly as a new song comes on. The song then slows down. Noodle and I walk onto the dance floor, some people leave, but more couples and groups come on. Some start to slow dance, while others are drunk out of their mind and still dancing as if it was a rap song.

"Come on Toochi!!" Noodle waved me on. I walk up to her as we started to slow dance. I wondered if it was okay to be doing this.

"Oww!" I came out of my mind and focused on noodle"you stepped on my foot!!" Her eyebrows furrowed in a way that was a sarcastic anger.

"S-sorry. I w—"

"Don't worry, it's fine. I mean, if it was some random girl or guy, then yeah, that would be quite awful" she smirked a little. Her hands were on my shoulders since she couldn't reach up all the way. To be honest, I felt like I was shrinking, I know I'm a little old, but...I still got some years before it goes all down hill...right?!?

The music ended and turned into a quick movement, not too fast, but one that I defiantly didn't feel like keeping up to. I felt like my time was over and decided to get off the floor. Noodle found her own group to dance in, a girl in the middle of the circle, twirking and dancing on some of the guys on the outside of the circle. I couldn't help my face turning into a disgusted look, it was quite....gross. I shrugged, thinking that it was what the world is going to.

I peered through the crowds, trying to find the couch we have claimed, I could find it. I instead found the bar and walked over, deciding a couple drinks wouldn't hurt, I've only had one so far. I grabbed my usual and sat down at the bar, watching the heads in the strobe lights bob up and down. The poles that held up the building changes with the lights. I wonder if everything is white so when the lights change, everything goes to that colour as well.

I couldn't focus anymore, I was extremely tired. I wonder if they have coffee? I spun my swirly white stool, looking into the back of the bar. A man wearing a floral shirt with a mustache was cleaning cups. He some what seemed like a pedo. I ignored the thought and looked for a coffee machine or even a kettle. They had everything, tall, small, fat, skinny, all kinds of shapes and colours, but nothing that interested me.

"Ya lookin' for something
in-particular ?" He asked, stressing the last word.

I waved my hands "no, no, j-just lookin'!" I started to get weird vibes so I decided to walk around. Murdoc wouldn't be happy I was doing this. He never likes me walking alone in a club or even a bar. I never understood until something alway happened to me. I am a clumsy person, so I either bumped into someone, spilling their drink or some other weird thing. It wasn't the first time that a guy pushed me out of a chair before or try and squash my head, or called me a freak. I do look funny. The clothes that I picked. My hair, I grabbed my hair unconsciously, my eyes......I look so different. I looked around, to see if anyone else had any features like me. No one. Not even a guy with the same body type. I started to stare at a guys who had a bunch of muscles or who were fat. I wonder if murdoc would still like me if I had muscles? I imagined myself with muscles, usually guys would have a happy drooling expression. I was horrified and disgusted. When I get home I will find some way. I'll look something up.

I was at the exit and decided to go out and have a smoke. I sat down on the curb next to the road, somewhat far from the club. It was still hot out, oh how much I hated spring and it was only to get worse until summer ended. The house we lived in didn't have any air conditioning so we were basically screwed. I took out a cig from the box, lit it with my clear blue lighter and lit the end. It's so quite....lonely....I wonder what Murdoc's doing? I imagined him, maybe clonked out on the couch or talking to Russel, maybe noodle. I wondered if he was thinking about me. I hope he thinks of me as much as I think of him..... I sat, staring out into space, literally, my eye glued to the bright stars. I knew some constellations, but I could never find them. I just started to trace them with me finger, hoping one will come up. None did.

When my cigar started to get close to my fingers, I decided it was time to go in. I threw the cigar on the ground, walking into the loud booming music.

I checked in with the "guard" that stood at the entrance. I weeved myself threw the dancing crowd. I saw where we sat, noodle and murdoc talking, Russel still talking to that girl, she was laughing.

I was about to go and sit down until someone grabbed me from behind. I gave a yelp, but a hand covered it before the others could hear. Panic arose. The person had my arm, bent into an uncomfortable position on my back. It must be a guy, the hands were strong and a little harry, along with the arms. I didn't want to put up a fight, scarred what he could do to me. He lead me away from my friends, into a dark hallway where no one was. He then threw me into a closet. I landed on a step stool, surrounded by cleaning supplies. The door closed, the guy was in here too. I looked up to see who captured me. It was the guy from before!! The one with the girl, that now sat and laughed with Russel!!

"Haha. You're mine now." He glared, a smirk and a chuckle. It reminded me of murdoc, when he was mean. Memories tore my mind. What..what is he gonna do?