Fuzzy thoughts

Cute!!

*murdocs pov*

     At some point the dull— d, fell asleep on me. CUTE!! I tried to keep in my obsessive laughter. He's just way too cute! I thought looking down at him, fluffy cotton candy like hair on my shoulder, his spaghetti arms wrapped loosely around my chest. I took one of my calloused, harsh clamy hand to his soft pale skin.....he deserves so much better. Didn't I just hurt you? The bump on his forehead mixed in with all the scars and bruises on his body, I made all of those. Damn I even caused him to get his shin hurt!! I'm useless, not you, me!

     I need to get up, this is what happens when I get to sober, my life seems to just..... want to end...why? So what I had a terrible child hood, I'm grown up! Now I'm doing it! I'm ruining his life!................

     My thoughts ended as his journal hit the ground. I untangled myself from the spaghetti and picked up the journal, on the front it says'KERP OUT!!' Was it misspelt for a reason? I shrugged the question off and opened it. The last time I tried to read its contents I got hit, brutally, good thing I didn't want kids....my frown disappeared as I looked at what was written on the crumpled papers. Messy bubbly letters, almost illegible.

     I got to the most recent page, those bloody words! What does he mean he gets advantage? What's so raw? I looked back at the curled sleeping ball.....sometimes I wish I knew what he was thinking. I flipped through some more looking at the peculiar titles, the melancholy words. He always says they have no reason, just to reach the heart of the listeners, I know he's lying....

"Murdoc?" Crap. I turned around and looked at the sleepy head, rubbing his eyes and yawning, awwwww! My heart was melting on the inside, but I kept my composure, I thought. A smirk pulled at the singer's mouth, he moved closer to me, leaning on my back, arms wrapped around my neck, his cunning sick smile next to my ear. My face blushed, stop.....

"What'cha got there" he asked, seductively whispering into my ear, why is he doing this?"MURDOC!!" My wish came unraveling back into my face,"WHY THE HELL ARE YA READIN' MY JOURNAL!!" He snagged the journal out of my hands and curled away.

I didn't turn around, afraid he would see the "uncool" me revealed,"sorry, I wanted to see if you worked on any other," it's the truth, but really I wanted to see if any songs were about me.

"I've only worked on the song that you don't like, and maybe one other...." I could tell he was going in and out of reality, his eyes distant, mouth open not saying a word. I snuggled up against him.

"You're so vulnerable" this time, it was my turn, my turn to make him blush. Lose control. I took his face within my palm, his eyes still distant, but I knew he was paying attention. A kiss rapid with heat, I moved myself so I was on top of him. "This view of you is really nice" I saw the confusion written on his face," you under me, like it was meant to be" I whispered into his ear, biting it, causing his breathing to hitch. I moved down to his neck, biting it.

"Ah murdoc!" Ahaha, finally.....my thoughts were disrupted, I was pushed off of him.

"Wha—" I saw him climbing his way to his journal.

"I just thought of a chorus!!" He scribled down letter after letter. I got bored of waiting, so I took control. I sat next to him, slinging one arm around his waist, starting to kiss the same spot on his neck. My hand starting to rub his back, I pulled away, noticing he stopped writing, his cheeks as red as a cherry pop.

I smiled, snaking my arm up to his hair, he leaned his head onto my shoulder, then followed his body, 'gotta go slow', man Russel. I smiled, looking at the two hickeys, the third one fading. To think it was that long ago. When he—when I thought he hated me.

I glanced over his head, reading what he was writing.

"Clocks on the wall, to the watches on the wrist. It's the moments that we relive. It's the moments like this. When it's time to get ill, we be so ahead of time, it's the moments we achieve best believe it's the moments." I talked, not putting rhythm into it. He looked at me, then started to sing the next part, much better than me.

"Main event, yellow, red
Black, white, dirty.
Main event, yellow, red
Black, white, dirty.
Shiver down my backbone" he turned around me and smiled, maybe the first song I haven't heard that doesn't sound all that depressing! Not all of his did, but he usually had help with those.....

"That was fantastic!" I looked at him sincerity in my voice, man I love him!
——————-

"Hey murdoc...." I hummed in response. It had been sometime since we talked, we just laid there in his bed watching YouTube, laughing occasionally.

I looked down at him, he was laying on my side, my arm wrapped around him the blanket covering both of us. "Go on..."

"Right....umm.... should.....should we tell.... t-tell noodle and r-Russel?" His voice choked.

I sighed, covering my face with my opposite hand"ahhhh, I think it's best we don't right now....I don't think I'm ready to lose....." I looked down at him, he looked disappointed and hurt," trust me! It's not like I'm embarrassed to be with you.... I just don't want t—"

"It's alright! I know looks and reputation is big to you! I'll be ready when you are to tell everyone!" His smile made everything glow in the wretched dark havens of hell. He deserves so much more........