Fuzzy thoughts

Confessions

*murdocs pov*

     Once we got home, I carried 2d into the bathroom to check if he was badly hurt.

    When we got there, I started to take off his shirt. Under his shirt was a bunch of bruises, some I think were from me.....still.......so long ago. My hand went over the scars and bruises from the past. I went over a dark one, his breathing hitched, I looked up, his face twisting in pain. I took my hand away looking in he cabinets for first aid.

     "I...I'm sorry....I...didn't want—" 2d locked eyes with me, I couldn't suppress my anger and jealousy, it felt like it was radiating off of me.

"Sorry. I didn't, want that to happen....he just—"

"Stop talking!" He flinched at the anger hinted in my voice. His legs and arms were tense, he's scarred. I touched his leg gently, reassuringly.

"I know you didn't mean it to happen. It was against your will." I really had nothing else to say. Between the situation that happened, then seeing all the scars and bruises, I just needed to go to bed. My head hurts.....
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*2ds pov*(its a lot more fun and easy to write in this view!!)

I sat on the toilet cover, Murdoc attending to my wounds. I shouldn't have said anything.....I gulped, hopefully it wasn't audible. I kept glancing at Murdoc. He seems angry....and sad....mostly angry. He went on a scar from long ago, it hurt when he did, the pain reminding me where I got it from, like a souvenir.

I put my shirt back on. He started to undo my pants.

"M...murdoc? W-what are you doing?" He didn't respond. What do I do? What do I do?

I took his face in my palm, pushing him away."what are you doing?!" He sternly asked.

"Shouldn't I be saying that! I just went through something and your thinking it's a good time?" His grip lousened on my jeans, I took my hand away, his face was unreadable.

"Fine.....ya know," he got up heading out the door, before he left me, he turned around" I'm starting to wonder if your just carrying me on. We've been dating for a while, I've never heard you say you've actually loved me, I've said it too you, but never to me...." he walked out the door, in that instant, he seemed dispirited. Like all the anger he just had, had no use to it anymore and turned to sadness.

I went to go after him, tell him it's not that I meant any of that on purpose. But I stopped. I kicked off my jeans, took off my shirt and flopped into my bed, my head digging into the pillows in a suffocating way. I'm just scarred. What am I supposed to do? I'm a wimp, dullard, face ache!! You know that best out of anyone! What am I supposed to do?
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*murdocs pov*

I stumbled into my room, harshly slamming the door. Everything felt like a waste. This is why I don't date! I stopped, what an awful thing to say....I know he's just concerned. This isn't a thing I can force....my feelings for it was too strong, I couldn't help it.

At this time, I usually had a beer and was about to play my bass, or I had a girl after a night in the club. Tonight, I felt empty. I crashed onto my bed, looking at the ceiling. It's so much brighter in this room than my previous, everything is so different. I dont have girls...I have a guy, that I use to abuse and boss around. Noodle is older. Really the only thing that isn't different is Russel. He hasn't changed at all. It makes me wish that I hadn't changed, making me feel all these feelings. I always had feelings, I just chose not to express them, certain ones at least. But now? Their leaking out of me and I can't stop it. It's....its so frustrating!!

What the hell do I do now? I'm so bored. I had a perfect plan on what to do once we got home. 2d would have been drunk, willingly do what I want to do, but nooooo, that bastard just had to do stuff to my boyfriend.

I got up, deciding a drink would be nice.
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*2ds pov*

I heard a creak. Then light footsteps. Noodle? What's she still doing up? Well....she's no longer a kid. I got up, deciding to talk to her, I haven't talked to her since we were dancing together. How old is she anyway? 24? 25? A realization hit me, how old is murdoc? Is it even okay for us to be dating?....how old am I? I quickly went down the stairs, lots of practice with stairs.

I heard another creak...kitchen? But she's really against eating after 8pm? (Supposedly it's bad for your health or digestive system) I walked into the kitchen, I looked around the corner, the light from the fridge gleaming at murdoc, a beer in his hand.

I hid behind the corner, trying to sneak away.

"What ya up to? It's not like the old times right." He said as he plopped down into a screaming seat. I nodded and sat down across from him.

What do I do? I though it was noodle! Murdoc and Russel usually clonk through the houses.

"Sorry...." I spoke, my mouth saying it as if it was possessed. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands, trying to suppress it from saying anything else. I'm glad I couldn't see his face or he could see mine.

He chuckled" what for? I already said it wasn't you fault." His chuckle sounded conflicted. A concoction of sorrow and reassuring fighting to make it sound real, sorrow winning.

"Not that!" I blurted out, a slight shadow from a passing car lit his face, he seemed confused," not that....I...I..meant about the other stuff.." I heard him get up, I got up too, ready to follow him when he walked out the door. But instead of him walking out, strong arms wrapped around me, his head resting on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him.

"It's...just I'm scarred." I said. He moved his mouth next to my ear.

"About what?" He whisperd, making the hairs on me stand up.

"You saw the scars, you were sad afterwards. I don't look nearly as good as any of the girls you've had, what happens if you don't like it? What if you were to naive? What will you do afterwards? What would I do if you no longer like me?" Tears fall out of my seem less eyes. I buried my head in his shoulder, muffling the sounds I make. My arms wrap around him tighter.

"I was sad because of my actions. The horrible actions I did to scar your beautiful body. Everyone is naive, but I will always love you....afterwards, well we could do it again, or go to sleep, we can do a bunch of stuff afterwards." My eyes widened at his answers, but it didn't stop the tears. I was relieved. I was overthinking it.