Still Here [Fillie]

The Bully

2 Months Later
Finn's POV

I've finally gotten rid of my anger problem. A week after my friends and I talked to Millie through that ouija board, my parents sent me to an anger management camp for the whole summer because I got a little out of hand and threw a candle at my dad's arm, breaking a bone. I didn't talk to anybody at the camp, mainly because I spent my time alone in my cabin, which is where the councilors would send us when we took out our anger on others. I wasn't aiming my scissors at that boy who asked me if I could share my nerds with him, he just happened to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time you know? I kept writing in my journal though. I think it helps the most.

Now I'm back home and I'm going back to school tomorrow, since summer is over. I can't believe I'm going into the tenth grade. "Finn, dinner!" My mother shouts from downstairs. I sat my school schedule down on my desk and went downstairs to eat with my mom and dad. Nick started college last week, so that means he won't be here anymore. I really do miss my brother, I feel like an only child and my parents focus too much on me now.

I sat down at the table in front of a plate of meatloaf and steamed carrots and green beans. I smile as I stab a carrot with my fork and stuck it into my mouth. "Do you have everything ready for school tomorrow?" Dad questions as he tries to scratch his skin underneath his cast. I nod as I put more food in my mouth. "You must be really excited to go back. I bet your friends miss you." Mom coos as she cut up her meatloaf. I shrug. "Yeah I guess so." I spoke without looking at them. The rest of the dinner was silent.

I went upstairs to my room to brush my teeth, take a shower, and get everything ready for tomorrow. After everything was set, I hoped into my bed and grabbed my notebook and pen that was resting on my nightstand. I flip it open to the next blank page and write my daily letter to Millie.

Day#93. School is tomorrow and I'm really excited. I can't wait to see Caleb and Sadie and Gaten and Noah. Can you believe we're all in high school together now? I wish you were still here. This would have been your freshman year. You would have loved the music teacher mr.Woody, he's awesome. I'm sure we'll see each other someday.

I stop writing and think about that last sentence for a moment. Why would I write that? I would have loved to see Millie walking through the halls of Hawkins high school with Sadie beside her and them laughing a whole bunch. I wish there was some way to bring her back. What if I convinced her to come over that day?

I hope I don't have to talk to the guidance councilor at all this year. I think I've finally gotten over this whole grieving thing. I do miss you very much and I promise I'll see you soon.

I read over that last sentence a couple times before slamming my notebook shut and closing my eyes to let out a breath of distress. I really do think I'm done grieving. I did some research while I was at camp and found out that people who experience grief sometimes skip a stage or two. I think I've skipped the bargaining and depression and I'm in the final stage, which is acceptance I guess. It just doesn't feel like acceptance though. I still feel sort of empty with Millie dead. I really do wish there was some way to bring her back.

I sat my notebook and pen down on my nightstand and held my face in my two hands before interlocking them together under my chin. What if I say a prayer? Surly I could bring Millie back with just one little prayer right? I take a deep breath. "Dear...lord," I start, not knowing exactly how to do this. I haven't prayed since the thanksgiving before my heavily religious aunt moved back to Toronto.

"I know it's been a while but... you have someone up there with you and I-I really miss her. I've been very good since I left anger management camp, I think I deserve to see Millie Brown again. Please give her back to me or something. I miss her. Amen."

-

I sat on the school bus with all my friends. Caleb and Sadie sat in the seat behind me while Gaten and Noah sat in front of me. I sat alone, staring out the window and thinking of different scenarios where I could have saved Millie. She would be sitting right next to me if she hadn't gone so soon.

"Finn, tell Noah that high school isn't that bad." Gaten says as both boys had turned around in their seat to look at me. I was snapped out of my daze, looking back and forth at the two. Noah looked nervous and scared, while Gaten was just annoyed. "High school isn't that bad." "Just watch out for Jacob Sartourious." Caleb warns them. Now Gaten looked confused and worried. Noah grew more terrified.

"W-who's he?" The younger boy asked, gripping the seats. I roll my eyes as they continue to talk about my bully. Jacob and I don't get along well. Our first interaction together began on my first day of freshman year last school year. I was late to my Algebra class, so I ran down the hallway very quickly. I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and ran into Jacob Sartourious, who at the time was a sophomore. I made him fall to the ground while I stood over him and his friends laughed. He's hated me ever since, all because I embarrassed him. Sometimes he picks on my friends, but I'm the main target.

The bus came to a stop and everyone stood up and got off the bus. I walked alone to my first period. "Hey, frog face! I missed you all summer!" I heard that very familiar voice call. I kept my head down as I just continued to get to class. "Sorry, it was all my fault. I spent the last three months in the Bahamas with my parents, but I'm back now and ready to kick your ass all day every day, man." The older boy spoke. I huff and make a turn, speed walking down the next corridor.

"I heard you went on a little vacation too. Anger management camp, huh? A buddy of mine told me that you broke your dad's arm with a candle." My breathing was getting heavier. I'm not angry anymore, I'm a happy boy now. Jacob is just testing me is all. I shouldn't lash out. Remember what you learned at camp, Finn. "So what now? You think you're some sort of tough guy?" Jacob teased, his voice and footsteps sounding closer than before.

I felt a small shove to the back of my head and sped up my walking a little more. Jacob still behind me. "You gonna fight back now? Cmon', through a candle at me!" The boy yells, giving me a couple more pushes to the head. Each push was more rougher than the last. "Do something, freak!" He screams and I take off running to the nearest bathroom with tears in my eyes. I shut and lock the door behind me before chocking on my sobs. It's all so overwhelming today. Why couldn't it have been Jacob who died and not Millie? What am I supposed to do?

----------------------

Happy Friday, shoppers!

So I'm sorry I posted a little late, I just had to finish writing and I have something special for you guys in next Friday's chapter. Come back on Sunday to read more though.❤️