Still Here [Fillie]

The Acceptance

2 Months Later
Finn's POV

It's been two hundred and twenty days since she died and two months since I've seen her. I've felt absolutely miserable without her. I haven't written to her in two whole months either. The moment she said that I was dead to her it felt like my insides were rotting. I miss her very much, but I'll never get to see her again.

Sadie and I have talked about what happened that day at the quarry after a very distant week. She said she only kissed me because she wanted to show me how much she loves me and cares for me. She didn't want me to take my own life.

My sixteenth birthday just passed and now it is December thirty first, New Years Eve. All of my friends and I were at Gaten's house waiting for midnight, which would come in half an hour. I spent almost the whole night moping and crying while all my friends dance around to music, snack and wait for the ball to drop on the tv. I sat on the couch just thinking about Millie. It feels like she's completely died forever. I wish she was actually alive. She could have been my New Years kiss.

"Finn, come on and join the party already." Caleb suggests while wrapping his arms around his girlfriend who looked very nervous and anxious for some reason. I roll my eyes and stand up before walking out the back door and just standing there on the porch looking up at the night sky. The stars are as bright as her eyes. Full of fire and admirable. I need to let go, but will I? I just can't get her out of my head. Everywhere I look I see her and then I remember that I'll never actually get to see her again. I'm back where I started, wanting her back. Only this time she won't come back to me.

I heard the door open and someone approach me from behind. They put an arm on my shoulder and I turn my head to look at them. Caleb stood beside me with a big smile on his face. "Don't be so down, Wolfhard. Millie died eight months ago, you should be over it like the rest of us." He said. How do I get over her? She's all I've ever wanted in life. "I know that you liked her...and I'm not talking about as a friend, I know that you had a little crush on her." The older boy admits. I hide my blushing face by looking the other way and purse my lips as I close my eyes.

"Hey you know what? In a few minutes it'll be two thousand and nineteen and people make tons of New Years resolutions around this time. Maybe you can make yours to just be more positive and happy. Be grateful for the friends that you have around you who love you and would like to spend more time with you. Also be thankful that your family is still around and are trying to help you cope, even if they aren't really good at it. Things are gonna be different this year."

I take in his wise words before looking back at him with a smile. He's right, I should change. I need to accept the fact that Millie is gone and I have other friends who are right by my side. It's time for the acceptance. Millie isn't here and that's okay. Sometimes people can't be here. "Thank you Caleb. You're a real great friend." I say before bringing him into a hug. He hugged back before we went back inside and waited for the count down.

Soon we had about only one minute left till it was midnight. Everyone was in the living room getting ready to count down from ten. Noah had come up to me just a little bit before that. "Hey we should kiss each other at midnight just to mess with everyone. It's gonna be hilarious." He whispers while also trying to hold in a chuckle. I laugh in secret with him and nod. "Yeah man, that's gonna be so funny." I agree. He pats my back and stayed there beside me.

"It's time!" Gaten screams before jumping up from the couch in a panic. We all count down from ten with excitement as the ball on tv slowly dropped down and the audience also shout. "Ten!" This year will be different. "Nine!" I'll be so much happier. "Eight!" I have great friends, "Seven!" a nice family, "Six!" I've got everything that I need. "Five!" Maybe I'll start doing small acts of kindness each day. "Four!" I can't wait for this ball to drop. "Three! Two!" "I'm pregnant!" Before we could shout that last number, the four of us guys turn to look at Sadie who looked very excited yet shaken.

"Happy New Year!" The people on tv scream and clips of people kissing showed up on the screen. Noah grabs my face and connects our lips just for a second before pulling away. Now Gaten was looking at us in utter shock. "What do you mean you're pregnant? You're only sixteen." Caleb says in disbelief to Sadie. The redhead let out a shaky breath before pulling something out of her pocket. It was a pregnancy test. She showed it to Caleb and I could just see over his shoulder that the test was positive.

I can't believe our best friend is pregnant at such a young age. Caleb is going to be dad, unless it's not Caleb's baby. No disrespect towards Sadie, all that she's said so far is that she's pregnant. "Sadie oh my god. Are you serious?" Her boyfriend asks with tears in his eyes. Sadie nodded before Caleb wrapped his arms around her and cried into her shoulder. "Thank you so much baby." His muffled voice said. I smile as I'm very happy for the two who will be parents pretty soon.

"So are we gonna ignore that kiss that took place right in front of us? I mean I literally saw Noah kiss Finn on the lips. I'm not against it, I'm just a bit surprised." Gaten explains. I giggle and put an arm on Noah's shoulder. "I think Sadie had you guys more shook than we did." I say. Everyone began laughing and Caleb stood up straight to look around the room at all of us. "This year is gonna be a big one. Noah is possibly gay, Finn's gonna be happy, Sadie's gonna have my child. What are you gonna do this year Gaten?" Caleb asked.

The young curly haired boy flushed a pink color and giggled. "I'm gonna ask my crush out. After Millie dying and Finn's little emo phase I've thought that maybe I should take action before it's too late and I end up screaming at things for no reason." If I had a nickel for every time I screamed and had a mental breakdown,

-"I want her! I want her! I want her!"-

-"She's not dead! She's not dead She's not dead! Millie is not dead!"-

-"I hate this! I hate you guys! She's gone! She hates me!"-

-"Shut up and tell me where the hell you put my things!"-

-"Millipeeeeeeeeeede!"-

...damn this year better be good.

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So this morning I realized that I never gave out those shoutouts, so I'm going to be doing them now. It's pretty obvious that the final stage of grief is acceptance. Now here are some people who could get it right:

KarinaIsabelle04
fluffywheeler
filliedolfinn

Now as I said about two chapters ago I will also be giving people who could guess correctly some spoilers so I will message you all later today and give y'all some TOP SECRET information.

Btw this chapter is my favorite because Sadie iS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!! (And Noah is possibly gay)👻