Still Here [Fillie]

The Colors

Millie's POV

I lie in my bed crying to myself as I was home alone and had absolutely nothing to do. David and mama were out at work and I had nothing else to do. I miss my friends, I haven't seen them in over two months and I miss my family that doesn't even want me around because they hate ghosts. I wish I wasn't dead. I'm tired of feeling this way, I just want someone to talk to. Maybe I could find someone.

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I walk down the streets and up to the big building. I'm sure they'll let me talk to someone. I walk in and go up to the front desk where a lady was sitting behind the counter. "Excuse me, am I allowed to do activities with the children?" I ask. The lady looks up from her computer with a smile. "Of course. How old are you dear?" She asked leaning her elbows on the counter. I put my hands in my pockets and let out a breath. "I'm fourteen."

She nods and looks back at her laptop. "Well I don't think the teens are doing anything right now, but the kindergarteners are down the hall and in the second multipurpose room doing arts and crafts." She informs me before reaching into a drawer and handing me one of those paper wristbands. "Put this on so they don't mistake you for an orphan." The lady adds and I kindly take the white wristband. "Thank you so much." I say before walking down a long hall as I struggle to get the band around my wrist.

I finally got it on as I approached the room with a smile. This should be good for me, I needed to get out of the house and do something with people, even if they aren't my age. I step into the room of surprisingly quiet children who were all coloring and pasting things to other things. I smile as I look around at all the children and I felt at peace. "Hello young lady. How are you?" A woman with light brown hair and nice tan skin asks as she approached me. I smile at her.

"I'm great. I just came in here to sort of volunteer and play with kids. I'm Millie." I had introduced myself and held my hand out for her. She gladly took it and we shake. "I'm Mrs.Bouno, but you can call me Cara if you'd like. I'm glad you're here today because some of the kids have a hard time with scissors." The woman explains everything to me. I nod and listen to everything she tells me. This is basically babysitting.

After Cara told me everything I needed to know, she let me walk around and I got to see what the kids were doing. Most of them were drawing hand turkeys or self portraits. I got to help the kids a little as well and they were all so cute and nice. I've always wanted to have as many children as I could when I was alive. I would just imagine different scenarios with me and my future children like birthday parties and rainy days at home. I think I would have been a great mother and I think Finn- I mean whoever would be the father of those children would have been an amazing dad.

"Miss, could you please help me stick this puffy ball to this picture?" A little girl with wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes asked me. I smile as I stood beside her and grabbed the blue pom-pom that she was holding in her hand. "Of course, munchkin." I say before grabbing the bottle of glue and applying a small amount to the top. I then put it right where she was pointing and she thanked me. Her picture was very unique and colorfully fun. An elephant with wings. She had glued tons of things to her drawing like beads, string, pom-poms, goggly eyes and whole lot of things.

I smile at the little girls art work because it was something colorful that wasn't inside of my house. I realized two things as I was looking around at the children's artwork. I'll never have kids and this will probably be the only time I'll ever get to see bright beautiful colors outside of home. I start to tear up a bit and quickly walk out of the multipurpose room so no one could see me cry. I sob quietly to myself with my back against the wall.

"Millie? Oh no, what's wrong?" Cara's soft voice asks and I remove my hands to look up at her. She was holding my shoulders and was bent over to look into my eyes. "It's nothing, I'm sorry." I apologize and try to wipe away my tears using the sleeve of my jacket. The woman frowns a little. "It doesn't look like nothing. Nobody cries over nothing." She says before standing up straight and bringing me into a hug. I sniffle and shut my eyes to stop my tears. "I guess I just got a little emotional while seeing the kids work. I'm so used to seeing just plain boring white when I'm not at home." I had explained.

I felt Cara rubbing small comforting circles on my back. She's such a nice woman. "Yeah, I totally get it. In fact that's why I wanted to volunteer for this, to see the colors and to let kids know that there are colors in this world." She started before pulling me away from the hug so I could look up at her. She smiles down at me while brushing hair out of my face. "These kids are different than you and I. All they see around here is white. They don't get to go home to a bright beautiful home with a bunch of crazy cool colors, they go to the top floor where there are beds set up in rows and everything looks exactly the same, white."

I never even thought of that before. I guess I'm just so used to being in my house twenty four hours a day that I forget to realize that orphans in this world aren't as fortunate as I am and they only see color on a sheet of paper. I cannot wait for David to adopt a child, they'll get to be surrounded by color.

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I've had a pretty rough emotional week and I hope today was the last because I don't think I can handle anymore stressful weeks. I wish I had more people to talk about my issues with (preferably a therapist) but that cost money and I just don't have that shit right now so...

How do you think this book will end?👻