F*ck Fate! (Book 3)

Chapter Fifteen: A Family in Pieces

Shawn

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, gently poking at the bruise on my cheek. Why did I have to be such a klutz all the time? Better yet, why did I think I could successfully jump over the couch?

Ivy had laughed at me last night when it started forming, long after Andy had left. Apparently she thought the fact that I was willing to show off for him hilarious. Too bad showing off was the last thing on my mind at the time.

And I'm sure no one at work today is going to find a bruised face as funny. I wished I had today off too, that way I could have more time for this to fade. I didn't need customers worried about my face too.

With a sigh, I left the bathroom. There was nothing I could do about it except pretend it didn't bother me.

I was also trying not to think about the conversation Andy and I had yesterday. I couldn't believe I had told him all that about Ryan and Pat. I rarely talked about them, yet I found myself just telling Andy all about them. I don't know what was wrong with me.

It didn't matter now. What I said was said, and there's no changing that. I just really hoped he forgot about it all. I didn't want him bringing it up next time I saw him - if I ever saw him again. I was seriously hoping I don't at this point. I was embarrassed enough to never face him again.

On my way out, I stopped by my dad's room. I lightly knocked on the door before pushing it open. He was still asleep, passed out over the covers. There was an empty bottle of wine on the nightstand, which means he managed to get into the wine cabinet without me noticing last night. How was that possible?

I really did need to get him help. This couldn't possibly be healthy for him. The only problems with that were affording help and actually getting him out of the house.

Just before I was about to close his door again, he said my name. I hadn't realized he had woken up.

"Come here," he said, weakly patting the bed next to him.

I went, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Hi. How are you doing?"

He ignored my question. "You're not getting into fights again, are you?"

I gently touched the bruise on my face with my fingertips. "No... I'm not fighting, Dad. I just fell, that's it."

He nodded. "As long as you're not fighting. I hated seeing you coming home bruised all the time. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you as much as I used to."

I knew this was my chance to coax him into getting professional help, but one glance at the clock told me I needed to leave soon or risk being late for work.

"I think you should talk to someone," I said, hoping to make this quick. "Someone who can help."

He shook his head. "What good will a freaking shrink do for me?"

I sighed. "Just think about it, okay? I have to get to work, and Ivy's already at school. I'll be back later."

"Say hi to Meg for me. Did she spend the night? I thought I heard her yesterday."

I stood up from the bed. "We broke up. She was just dropping some stuff off."

I didn't give him a chance to respond before I was out of his room, closing the door behind me.

If he had heard Meg, than he might have heard what she said. Although it's not like it mattered too much. He didn't know who Andy was, let alone that he was over yesterday. I doubted, though, that he heard her words. If he did, the words wouldn't have registered to him, since he was probably already drinking. But if he did put the pieces together, I wasn't sure that's how I wanted him to fully realize I'm bi. Sure, I wasn't hiding it from him, but I wasn't outright saying it either. I had a bad feeling he wouldn't understand it. 

No. I was overthinking this; there was nothing to worry about.

Except, of course, the fact that I barely knew what I was doing. I wasn't ready to be an adult. I was only twenty years old. Why did I have to take care of this family by myself?

Mom may have left a year ago, but Dad only started getting this bad over the last couple of months. It's like the longer it's been since the divorce, the harder it is for him to handle it. I just wished he'd try to help himself, for the sake of me and Ivy.

As I headed out the door, I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I've had memorized since I learned how to read numbers. It rang for a while before clicking over to her voicemail. I shouldn't have expected anything else.

"Hi Mom," I started, just like all the other times I've left her messages. "Just calling to check in. I would really like to talk to you, since it's been a few months since we talked. Uh... Dad's getting worse, like I said in my last message. I don't know what to do, Mom. I can't do this on my own. Ivy can't grow up like this. Please call me back. I miss you."

With a sigh, I ended the call and stuffed my phone back in my pocket. I pulled my jacket closed and zipped it up. This was going to be a long walk and the wind was starting to pick up. These were the days I wished the car hadn't broken down or I had the extra money for a cab. At least the walk to work wasn't so bad usually.

As I walked, my mind wandered back to Andy. I could definitely see us becoming better friends in the future, but I wasn't sure how much of my life I'd end up spilling on his lap in the process. He already knew about my past love life. What's next - the whole ordeal with my parents' divorce and Dad's depression? I wasn't ready to tell anyone else about that yet, and definitely not some guy I've only met a few times.

Yet, there was something different about Andy. The way we talked to one another was like we've known each other for years, especially yesterday after we had played that first match. We talked about a bunch of different things, and none of it felt forced.

I was starting to think that if there was one guy I'd let myself fall for, it might just be Andy.

I shook the thought out of my head. That was never going to happen. I can't imagine that he'd ever like me like that, so there was no point in trying to see what my emotions would do if I let my guard down for even a second.