F*ck Fate! (Book 3)

Chapter Thirty-Six: Sleepless Night and Unfocused Day

Andy

It was hard to sleep last night. I kept waking up and looking at the clock that barely seemed like it was moving.

After Shawn left, I was alone. Honestly, I didn't exactly want to be left alone last night, which is probably why I had trouble sleeping. My mother's words kept repeating over and over in my head: that they were leaving the country and wouldn't be around for Thanksgiving.

I don't know why it bothered me as much as it did. There have been holidays in the past where it was just Mom and me, or just Dad and me. Every once in a while, all three of us would celebrate together. I just couldn't seem to wrap my head around Thanksgiving without either of them this year.

It was still a week and a half away, and yet I was stressing over it now. Sure, Shawn invited me over to his, but I knew it wouldn't be the same. As much as I love him - which I had yet to tell him - I was afraid of what a holiday at his house was going to look like.

Really, I should have been focusing on what I was going to make for his birthday lunch. I told him he was going to love what I'm making, but, to be quite frank, I had no idea what to cook for him.

The words had just slipped out of my mouth, my brain preoccupied by the sudden realization that I was in love with him. Shawn, who was caring and kind when he wanted to be, but could also be blunt and impulsive. I realized that when he walked into the bathroom wearing my pants. He had never done that before - wearing my clothes. I also knew for a fact that I haven't worn that particular pair of sweatpants in ages, so they were buried under a bunch of other clothes. Shawn specifically dug them out just to wear, without asking me.

Not that I minded. In fact, I loved the way they looked on him, especially when he had nothing underneath. Shawn was just such a unique character. And I was in love with him.

When the sun finally rose and my alarm went off, I'm pretty sure I only slept for a solid two or three hours throughout the entire night. It was probably why I had a massive headache, but I couldn't let that stop me from still getting up to go to class.

So I got myself dressed, grabbed a protein bar for breakfast, and headed to class. I couldn't let myself miss another class, not even for this monstrosity of a headache.

"You look like shit," Kat said, sliding into her desk next to me. "Dinner go that badly?"

I slowly shook my head, not really in the mood to talk about it right now. "Didn't sleep too well. Bad headache."

"You didn't have to come today, you know," she said, pulling out her notebook and setting it on her desk.

I pulled out my own notebook and pen, my movements a lot slower than hers. "Yeah, I did. Aren't we getting our tests back today?"

Kat looked at me. "Andy, we got those back last week."

I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. "Right. I knew that.'

She dug into her backpack for a second before pulling out a small pill bottle. "Here. Take a couple pain meds. It'll help."

I nodded and grabbed them from her. "Thanks." Hopefully they start working soon. I couldn't deal with this headache any longer.

Our professor still wasn't here yet. I didn't know what time it was. Maybe he was late. Maybe we were just early. I didn't particularly care, though. Maybe Kat was right and I shouldn't be here. I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway.

"I think I need to go home," I told Kat, already putting my notebook back into my backpack. "I really don't feel that great."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to go with you?"

I shook my head, but stopped immediately. It hurt too much. "I'm fine, Kat, really. I think I just need a nap."

"Yeah, alright. I'll call you as soon as class gets out to check on you, okay?"

I left the classroom just as the professor was walking in. I'm pretty sure I apologized to him for leaving so soon, but I honestly couldn't remember if the words ever left my mouth. I really needed to sleep better at night. I don't know the last time I've been so out of it.

I had told Shawn to come over at eleven. Or was it eleven thirty? Somewhere around then. Either way, it meant I had a couple hours still to go home and rest up a bit.

Why did this have to happen to me today? Of all days? I wasn't about to cancel on Shawn, though. If this headache doesn't go away, I hope Shawn will agree to letting me take him out to lunch instead of cooking for him. I didn't want to risk burning down my apartment, even if it was his birthday. I'd rather take him out than completely cancel, no matter how shitty I might feel right now. I'd cook for him another day.

As soon as I got home, I got back into bed, fully clothed. I was just going to take a little nap and hopefully I'll feel better once I wake up. It was the only thing I could do at this point.

I set an alarm to go off in half an hour. That way I'll have time to get this place ready for Shawn to come for lunch if I was feeling better. I really hoped a half hour nap would be enough to get rid of this headache. I wanted a clear head when I told Shawn just how much he means to me today.