F*ck Fate! (Book 3)

Chapter Twenty-Six: Drunken Confessions

Andy

As much as I've been dreaming about kissing Shawn again, this was not how I expected it to go. With him sloppily attacking my mouth, practically crawling to my lap, I didn't exactly want to kiss him back right now.

I pushed him back slightly. "Shawn, you're drunk. Don't do this."

"What happened to not being into guys?" Alicia asked, walking into the room. "Sure looks like you are."

I looked at Shawn. "You told her you were straight?"

"Shut up," he muttered, sinking back into the chair.

Alicia put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm taking the first group out of here. Kat and Joey are in her bed. They should be fine for the rest of the night."

"Thanks, Al. I should probably take him home, too."

Shawn shook his head. "I don't wanna go home. And I'm fine. You don't have to take me anywhere."

He stood up, but wobbled unsteadily, holding onto the table for support. I knew he shouldn't have drank so fast, but he wouldn't listen to me.

Alicia grabbed a clean cup off the table and filled it with water. "Here," she said, handing the cup to Shawn. "Drink."

Shawn drank without questioning it. Then he looked at the empty cup in disgust. "That's not what I thought it was," he said. He started reaching for more alcohol, but I pulled his arm away.

"No," I said. "That's enough for you."

He pouted. "I hate you. I'm leaving."

I chuckled. "Okay, then. I'm going to leave too."

I followed Shawn out of the house, with Alicia and the few people she was going to bring home. If I remembered correctly, Shawn's house was at least a forty minute walk from here, probably a lot more in his current state. I could call him a ride, but I wanted to make sure he was safe.

"Let's go this way, Shawn," I said as he started walking down the street. "You're going the wrong way."

He threw his head back with a groan, but turned around and started following me. I only lived around the corner from Kat, which was where I was going to bring Shawn tonight. He could sleep on the couch, if that made him comfortable, but he was not going to be walking all the way home by himself.

It took us ten minutes to get to my place. The whole time, Shawn mumbled to himself about random things. I can't believe how much of a lightweight he was.

The first thing I did when we got inside was make Shawn sit on the couch while I got him a glass of water. I brought it to him, and he took it without a problem.

Until he spoke. "I hate you," he told me before taking a sip.

"Thanks, Shawn. You already mentioned that once tonight, no need to keep saying it." He was so confusing. He says he hates me, but he kisses me. I wanted to know what was actually going on in that head of his.

"No," he stressed. "I hate how I keep embarrassing myself in front of you. I hate how I can't stop thinking about you. I hate... I hate that I keep opening up to you and it's so easy with you. And how attractive you are is evil. So evil, Andy. I hate it. And, what I really hate... is how much I want to kiss you again."

I exhaled slowly. I guess there was my answer, although I never expected to come in the form of so much hatred. I just wished I could get him to admit to liking me when he was sober.

"Andy, it's not fair," he went on. "You're so... perfect, Andy. So what if you can't walk? You still have a better life than I ever had... ever will. Nothing bad's happened to you, not really."

I sighed. "I was raped," I admitted. His eyes shot to mine and, for the first time since he grabbed a drink, I saw a clarity in them. So I told him the story. "When I was fifteen, I had this boyfriend. Eddie. I loved Eddie. One night we were making out, with very little clothing on. We hadn't had sex yet, and I wasn't ready, so I told him no. My... lack of feeling down there didn't allow me to realize what he was doing until it was too late. I cried and screamed and tried pushing him off me, but there was nothing I could do. He caused me a lot of emotional damage that night."

"Andy..." Shawn whispered, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."

Before I could say that it was okay and it happened a long time ago, Shawn had moved closer to me, practically leaning over the side of my chair.

"I never want you to feel like that again."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Shawn. Now, I can bring you a pillow and a blanket if you want to sleep on the couch."

He leaned back, off my chair, his arms crossed over his chest. "The couch? Is that my best offer?"

"Well I would have offered up half my bed, but I didn't think you'd like that idea very much. Or you can sleep on the floor, but again, I didn't think you'd like it."

He thought about it for a moment. "Alright then. I'll choose option two, if that's okay. I hate sleeping on couches. If you really don't mind sharing your bed."

I nodded. "It's okay with me. I wouldn't have put it out there if I wasn't." 

In reality, I was nervous about sleeping in the same bed as Shawn. I liked him - he knows I like him. And I just found out that he likes me too. But this would be the first time sleeping in the same bed as someone that I wasn't even sort of in a relationship with that wasn't Kat.

"Just no funny business, okay?" he said, standing up. "I don't want to wake up to you trying to cuddle me in the middle of the night or whatever."

I shook my head with a small chuckle. "Should I remind you that you have instigated both kisses we have shared despite the fact that you have repeatedly told me you don't like me?"

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Shut up." Then he started walking for the kitchen.

"Just so you know, that's the kitchen. Bathroom and bedroom are down the little hallway on your right."

He stopped short in the doorway. "I knew that," he said, then quickly turned and headed down the hallway. A few seconds later, I heard the bathroom door shut.

Tonight was going to be interesting, that's for sure. I had a feeling that after tonight, things between Shawn and me were going to change. Whether they changed for the better or the worse, I still wasn't sure about yet. With Shawn, I never really knew what I would be getting.