F*ck Fate! (Book 3)

Chapter Thirty-Nine: True Feelings

Shawn

It was a few days later that Andy was allowed to go home. I hated to admit that I hadn't gone to visit him once after that first day. I told him it was because of work - which I did have, not just as often as I led on. Honestly, though, it was because I was worried I'd run into Kat there.

Knowing that she was related to Pat, and learning that he had tried to kill himself after I ended things with him, made me want to avoid seeing her face again for the rest of my life. But, considering the fact that I was dating her best friend, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I felt bad lying to Andy, but how could I tell him that I didn't like his best friend? Okay, that wasn't exactly true either. I only didn't like her because she managed to get it into her head that I was going to hurt Andy the way I hurt Pat. Sure, I may have been a bit of an asshole to him once we graduated, but I didn't know how he felt about me. I thought we were on the same page about what our hooking up meant. I definitely didn't mean for him to try to kill himself. But, in my defense, he never seemed like the type that would do that back in high school.

My phone rang and I groaned, fishing it out of my pocket. It was Andy. I let it ring for another second before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Shawn," Andy said. "I just got back home. Are you busy tonight? I haven't seen you in a couple days..."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. Uh... will it just be me and you tonight?"

He chuckled. "Yes, if you come. But we're not going to have sex."

"Now my night's ruined," I joked, sliding off my bed. "I just got out of work and I'm almost home. I have to change, but then I can come? In about an hour?"

There I go, lying again. But that's only because I told him I had to work this morning to avoid him getting released from the hospital. I knew Kat would be there with him the whole time.

"Of course," he said. "I'll see you soon."

I hung up the phone and changed out of Andy's sweatpants that I found myself always putting on because they were just so comfortable. I pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt instead, knowing that it was getting cold outside. It was still early afternoon, but I had a feeling I would be spending a few hours there, so it might be dark by the time I walk home - unless I leave tomorrow...

I grabbed my backpack and tossed my work uniform in it. I had to open tomorrow, and it wouldn't be the first time I went straight to work from waking up at Andy's. Even if we didn't end up having sex, there's no saying I couldn't sleep over. Right?

I managed to make it out of the house with only one sarcastic comment from Ivy about how I never spend any time at home anymore - which was a lie. I actually spent more time here this week than I should of, but she didn't know that Andy had been in the hospital. I didn't think it was my place to tell.

When I got to Andy's house, I knocked on the door. I was suddenly reminded of Monday, since that was the last time I was here. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Kat wasn't running up. Thankfully she wasn't.

"It's open!" I heard Andy shout from inside.

I opened the door and walked in. The first thing I saw when I walked in wasn't Andy, like I had expected. It was Kat. Sitting on the couch like she lived her.

Andy was next to the couch. He smiled up at me when I walked in. "Hey! How are you doing?"

I shrugged, still eyeing Kat. I thought he said we'd be alone? "I'm fine." Then I looked at him. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good. Really good. Come here."

I walked over, dumping my backpack somewhere along the way. I was going to sit in the armchair on the other side of Andy, but he pulled me into his lap. Then he kissed me. Hard.

I forgot everything else in that moment, kissing him back. I clutched his shirt tightly, needing to be as close as I could to him. I really have missed him this week.

"Guess that's my cue to leave," Kat said, reminding me that she was actually there.

I broke the kiss, but stayed on Andy's lap. Kat had stood up and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Call me if you need anything, Ands." Then, without a word to me, she left.

I looked at Andy. "She still doesn't like me, does she?"

Andy sighed. "She'll come around. It's just that the whole thing with her cousin was such a big deal. It was tough on her whole family."

"But I'm not that person anymore. Yeah, it sucks that I ended up causing Pat that much pain, but I didn't mean to do that. He had planned on going to a college out of state. I knew I wasn't going to go to college. Besides, I had just met Meg then, and I liked her. What Pat and I had was supposed to just be sex."

Andy rested his hands on my waist. "I know that. And I know you've changed since then. Hell, you've changed since the day I met you. Kat just needs to realize that."

"I hope so," I said, "because if it comes down to it, I'm not too sure you'll choose me over her. You've known her forever, but me only a couple months."

"Shawn, listen to me." Andy moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks, cupping my face. "It's not going to come down to that. But, just so you know, I never plan on letting you go. You know why?"

I shook my head. I tried to think of some witty response, but he continued speaking before I had the chance to make a degrading joke.

"I'm in love with you, Shawn."

I felt like a rock hit my chest. "I lied to you," I blurted. He took his hands off my face. "All week. I wasn't working today. I worked yesterday, but I closed. I could have come seen you in the hospital, but I didn't. I'm sorry."

He looked sad. "Why?"

I shook my head. "Because of Kat. I feel so stupid hiding from her, but I hate how much she hates me. I should have just come anyway. I missed you like crazy and it's only been a few days. God, I'm such an idiot."

"Shawn, it's okay," Andy said softly. "I mean, I wish you had just told me why you were staying away, but I understand now. You can tell me anything that's bothering you, even if it is about Kat, okay?"

I nodded. This is exactly why I didn't deserve him. I could never be that understanding, even if I loved him.

That was a whole other thing now, too. Andy loved me. I didn't know if I could say the same thing about him.