The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

Let Me Be A Corpse Nii-san!

     Something was going on in the Uchiha compound, but the onyx orbed 6 year old couldn't put her finger on it. To sate her satisfaction, she spied on her family, watching and listening as a whole council conversed.

     What she had found out didn't surprise her, it would've happened sooner or later. They were planning on a coup to take back what was 'theirs.' The only one that had a Mangekyo was Shisui, and back then, Senjus and Uchiha fought equally with the Mangekyo. 

     Tsubaki hated to say it, but her clan now had brains of horse shit. They wanted to battle with only regular Sharingan and against multiple kekkai genkai that can't be copied. They were brutally outnumbered and the Hokage and other high leaders probably caught word of it. 

     When she left, the first words that came from her mouth were,"Oh my fucking Kami. This clan is screwed. Only psycho Obito will be left. Fuck me."

     She headed to the kitchen to grab a snack and regain some brain cells. Her mother stood at the counter slicing up vegetables for dinner. The smell of beef stew wafted through the air. "Okaa-san, that smells good."

     Mikoto sent her a smile and asked,"Do you want to help me?"

     "Hai!"

     Honestly, if the 6 year old girl could pick any person in the family as her favorite, it would be her mother. She was brave, understanding, loving, and generous. That woman treated everyone equally with the same treatment... Except for her only daughter. Fugaku's wife was more lenient, protective, and caring of Tsubaki, making up for her shit of a father.

     With that, Sasuke's twin would literally do everything for her mother, just the same as Madara would do anything for Izuna... Even kill him on his deathbed.

     "Kaa-san, where do you want these?"

     "Just put them over to the counter and start mincing the onions."

     "Okay!"

------****------

     Shisui and Itachi were sparring while the twins watched off the sideline. Sasuke was observing intuitively, making mental notes about the fight while his sister stifled a yawn and tried to sleep on the ground.

     He whined,"Tsubaki-chan! Stop sleeping, baka!"

     A tick mark appeared on the girl's forehead,"Urusai. I'm trying to sleep. Someone decided to be extra youthful and made me do an another 100 laps. He's such a S and a M."

     "S and M?"

     "Stupid man." Thank god for my brain working under pressure.  My brother doesn't need to know what a damn sadist  and masochist is. He's too young.

     The 6 year old Uchiha boy wasn't satisfied with the answer and turned to Itachi. "What's a S and a M?"

     Ita-nii froze in the middle of his tracks and his face flushed as he stuttered,"W-well, it's... Ummm..." 

     Giggles escaped from their younger sister at his reaction. It was always funny when questions that were 18+ were asked.

     Shisui barked out in laughter,"Your kawaii imouto is right, it means stupid man."

     Instantaneously, the oldest brother agreed robotically ,"Yes, that is what it means." 

     Tsubaki grew furious at what he had called her,"IMOUTO?! Never. NEVER. Call me that or you will find your fuuu-flipping heads without bodies." Dammit, I almost swore in front of him! Crap, I need to watch what the hell I say more.

     Grumpily, she turned back over and yelled,"Oyasumi!"

     Every few seconds, her annoying brother would poke her in the side, seeing if she was awake or not. Unlucky for him, Tsubaki was a total master at being dead. Madara did die after all.

     "I think Tsubaki-chan is dead," the Izuna look-alike pointed out nonchalantly, "I guess I've got to prepare a casket now."

     What have I, Madara, done to this poor child.

     The five year old had indeed looked like she had stopped moving, even breathing. The Weasel went into panic mode, stopping the fight to check on his dear sister. A sigh of relief came out when he checked her pulse. "She's alive, Otouto."

     Ita-nii deadpanned when he saw him heartily digging a hole in the ground, a stick-made cross laying beside the pile of dirt. "Awww... I've got to put it all back now!"

     Tsubaki in turned giggled aloud, sitting herself up and plopping into the freshly dug hole. "If you fill it in with me in it, I'll sleep... Forever." 

     "Forever is a long time," he muttered.

     Itachi-onii-san watched his younger siblings in disbelief. There's no way he would do it- Oh, he's seriously burying her alive... Kami, he's burying her ALIVE!

     Inside the hole, Tsubaki cackled,"Staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah. STAYING ALIIIIIVVVEE~!"

     Dirt fell into her mouth and she hacked it back up,"Oy, leave my airholes for last."

     Shisui shunshinned next to Sasuke, making Itachi relieved that he'd stop this mess. "I can help you."

     Wait, what?

     "Grab a shovel," Fugaku's youngest son ordered.

     Itachi then raced out and uncovered his sister who just gave him the most arrogant Uchiha smirk ever. "I was trying to be like Hashirama. 6 feet under."

     He dropped her outside the hole and ordered,"Do NOT go back in there."

     A sullen look crossed her face,"Hai~. I was just having fun though, you guys have been so busy lately."

     Suddenly, Sasuke perked up,"I almost forgot! Otou-san said that he wanted to talk to me! I'll see you all later!"

     "Later!" the three chorused. 

     When he had left and no other presences were nearby, she sighed,"So... You guys know about the Coup d'état, right?"

     They stiffened at those words and turned to her,"When did you figure out?"

     "I've had my suspicions, so I snuck into one of those secret meetings. They couldn't even sense me, weak bastards. Anyways, we should be good talking here, I can't pick up on any traces of chakra signatures."

     Ita-nii asked,"So what exactly do you know?"

    "That the Coup won't work. After all, the Hokage has loyals spies on his side, you two."

    Again, they paled. She knows too much. How did she figure this stuff out?

     At their reactions, she laughed,"It isn't hard to differentiate a regular council from a war one. The tense atmosphere. The bloodlust hidden behind words. Hatred spewing out of mouths... I trust you two. What I am going to tell you, you mustn't tell anyone else or I will possibly die. Not even the Hokage or your captains."

     At this, the two male Uchihas looked at each other and nodded,"You've got our words."

     "Yosh! So I will tell you, in a form of a story. In the end, you will guess the meaning, okay?"

     The duo stared attentively at Tsubaki. "Okay. I will tell you of the story of Madara Uchiha, back to the war between Senju and Uchiha. The answer lies within this."

"Now then... Let's begin."