The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

Wed and Bed

     The battle ended quickly once Orochimaru died as the remaining forces scattered. There were only Oto nin, how he had even amounted that many shinobi was incredulous. 

     However, things needed to be said, and information clarified. Tsubaki sat in the Hokage's office in eerie silence while gripping onto Gaara, who she brought by the excuse of 'emotional support.'

     Hiruzen Sarutobi eyed her warily as he flipped through another paper, unable to cut through the silence.

     "So..." she drawled, "If we're not going to talk, I'm going to take my leave..."

      As she got up, he cleared his throat, "Take a seat."

     "Well, alright then."

     Plopping back down, she looked at the Hokage with a blank face, wanting this talk to already be over with. Tsubaki needed to teach Gaara about the wonders of love so he could comprehend her feelings.

     Of course, she wouldn't leave out the Sex Education part of it either. Tsubaki liked to think of herself as a Health connoisseur.

      "You are Madara Uchiha, the same person who tried to destroy Konohagakure, " he stated hesitantly, looking at her reaction.

     She only nodded sagely in agreement, "Yep, that's exactly what I did."

     Had he been hearing correctly or did she somehow sound proud?

     He then continued, "The co-founder of the leaf and once head of the Uchiha clan... The most dangerous shinobi to ever be recorded?"

     With that, she frowned, "Although I would like to take that title, I really do, Kaguya or the Sage of Six Paths is well beyond me... Except the stone can only be... You know what, I'll just take it."

     He sighed and looked at Tsubaki up and down with a frown, "You aren't the least bit like your old self."

     "Well, being in a constant state of isolation really does something to a person... That can explain why I'm fucked up in the head. Could've also been by me snorting some sparkly shit that was floating around when I was in there, but yeah."

     The Hokage tapped the edge of his desk nervously, "So what do you want to do? Reveal your identity?"

     "Nope, " she smiled lazily, "Although I like to bring chaos, I don't like the chaos that will hinder me the most. Just let things flow and whatever happens, happens."

     "I'll have documents made ahead of time for you then."

     "Thanks, Gramps."

     Tsubaki got up, gently tugging Gaara along to go out the door. "That was very cash-money of you."

     Once they left, the Uchiha female had decided that the best way for her Gaara to understand love was to deliver him to the biggest pervert himself. Jiraiya did know much about unrequited love.

      Of course, the toad sage was rather fearful of dealing with another jinjuriki. Still, the boy could help him on his missions and not understand a single thing. What a great thing his density was.

     However, he didn't have enough time for that as he had other plans created by the orders of the Hokage himself. It was a bummer, but she would just have to replace him as the teacher.

     Hashirama greeted her when they were passing through a busy road. but also checked Gaara thoroughly. Though he trusted Tsubaki, there was only enough to where he suspected that she did something to the red-head.