The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

I am the Pedo Police

"Are you okay?"

"Look at me!"

"Tsubaki..."

"Sasuke found you pads again."

In a fit of embarrassment, she jumped from the chair, ready to almost murder her brother again. She hit her head hard against something. "What the actual fu- When the hell did you get there!?"

Holding his own forehead in pain, he yelled back, "Five minutes ago!"

"How come... I didn't even notice." She flexed her hand, studying it before testing out her sensoring skills again. They were still the same.

"Okay, what is honestly up with you?" he questioned, "You're totally out of it."

Instead, she glared at him. "Stay out of my business. I have to deal with it myself. Your meddling will only make it worse."

Hitting his fist to his hand, a lightbulb appeared above his head comically. "Oh! Does it have something to do with Na-"

A hand was shoved over his mouth. Onyx black eyes bored into him, sending him the death glare. Looking up, she saw the next jounin proctor, staring right at her with bloodlust.

"Hello, Ma'am. I pardon for my actions but my teammate has made a rather... Sexist joke. Is it alright if I take this outside and... Discipline him?"

At those words, the Mokuton user gulped and visibly paled. Anko looked amused and smirked. "Go right ahead, brat."

"Thank you... Anko Mitarashi-san. If you want, I'll treat you to dango when I reach Chunnin."

"Hmph, that's tough talk for a brat."

"Well, soon enough you'll see what this brat can do."

She grabbed 'Genma' by the collar and dragged him out the door, knowing that Naruto Uzumaki's eyes were on her. The same pain-striken, hurt eyes that could never look at her quite the same again.

Once outside, she threw the boy to the side of the building, uncaring eyes watching as he fell to the ground. "Please don't hurt me!"

"Relax... I just want to let off some steam. I highly doubt that our own special training ground is in use right now. The Hokage even prohibited anyone to enter."

He nodded understandably and got up, wiping off the dirt that managed to settle on his clothes. "Let's go."

------*****------

"Huh... Scrolls, " Hashirama mumbled, flipping the earth scroll in the air.

"Stop it, " she ordered, "Knowing you, you'll lose it... And I've already taken a heaven scroll."

"Eh?! You have?! When!?"

"Keep it down!" she hissed, "I took it from the grass ninjas that are no way in hell not already jounin."

At their power levels, his eyes widened, "Are they over 9000?"

A tick mark appeared on her face, "How the hell are numbers supposed to gauge power!?"

Looking around at the other contestants, she froze before smirking, "Look, it's the puppet's... No wait, I don't sense his chakra anymore. It has to be his then."

Hashirama adopted a confused expression, "Puppet?"

She approached the young grey-haired male audaciously while smiling. Kabuto looked at her with his fake grin while pulling out his cards. "Ah, Tsubaki Uchiha... Have you heard about my fact cards?"