The Acrimony Anomaly [Naruto Fanfic]

A Perfect Sunday Afternoon with Tea, Cookies, and Fucking Danzo

     Honestly, Tsubaki should've saw this coming. That Naruto would finally wrap her into one of his pranks. It should've been expected and being the reincarnate of Madara, she should've said no... But pranking the Anbu had sounded too appealing and tempting. 

     So the duo ended up sneaking around the Root Headquarters, God knows how he figured out where it was at. "Hehehe, Tsubaki-chan, you ready, dattebayo?"

     A smirk was sent back,"You know I'm ready, Naruto."

    "On three... One... Two... Three..."

     Bombs went off and a wonderful sight was to behold, the so-called emotionless bastards running around frantically to put out fires. A smile graced the Uchiha's lips and she was about to tell him that it was time to go... But.

     "Hahaha! You all fell for it, dattebayo!"

     There was no more sneaking around now. She grabbed him by the waist and began to shunshin away. "Baka! Let me go!"

     This situation still felt too familiar to her. Her tone turned icy and cold,"Shut up."

    Naruto didn't argue after that. He recognized the look in her eyes after seeing it for so many days. The pain, sorrow, guilt, and fear that clouded over to make her almost emotionless. He didn't want to see her like that ever again.  Tsubaki-chan...

     The best course of action was to head over to the Hokage's place and stake out there for a while. For the Kyuubi holder's own good, the female Madara decided that she would alter his memories a bit and make him forget the entirety of the ROOT. It's not supposed to exist in the first place.

     When Tsubaki reached an isolated place, she walked up to his office instead, keeping the impression of her 'Lowly Uchiha Status.'

     The door was opened and the Third welcomed them with a large smile and asked,"What brings you two here?"

     "Naruto and I just wanted to have a civilized conversation with you."

      His eyes narrowed,"A conversation about what?"

     "Oh, just about some pranks."

     The Sarutobi then understood what she had meant. It is not safe to talk now. We'll have a regular conversation, and then talk.

     "Alright, Naruto, how is the academy?"

     The bright boy had instantly forgotten what had just occurred and started to blabber about how boring it was and that Iruka-sensei was an absolute pain.

     She felt the Anbu presence that approached and then disappeared. A nod was then sent to the Hokage and he lifted his hand, signaling his guards to leave. Now was the hard part, changing the Uzumaki's memories while making it seem like she knocked him out.

    While breathing in, she executed it perfectly, activating her sharingan, knocking him out cold. "Now... Hokage-sama, where were we..."

     He frowned upon this,"Was it really necessary?"

     "Hai."

     "So what is it that you need to tell me?"

     "I will not tell you a name for various reasons, but there is someone plotting against the village and practically already has an army at their disposal. Don't worry though, because I have a way where I could control that person."

     "Are you sure?"

    "Sure enough that he would be killed the second he's admitted guilty, but we might need him. I consider that person to be an important pawn that the village could finally use to its full potential."

     The old man sighed heavily,"Alright, I trust you. Itachi and Shisui trusted you enough to keep a secret that even they wouldn't tell me."

     Her eyes widened,"Wha-?"

    "They were murmuring about something and I asked them what it was. They never gave me a clear answer but only said,"Tsubaki-chan has to tell you on her own obligation. I respect their choice and I'll respect yours... Don't make me regret it."

     "Hai!"

     The onyx eyed girl carried the boy back to the apartment and dropped him off, deciding that she should finally visit her brother. "That asshole better be thankful that this sweet ass is taking her time to visit him."

     She walked casually through the street, not giving a single shit about the stares that were sent at her. Tch, go gawk at the floor. It need more love for all the hate it gets.

     A man with a black and white garb and bandages over his one eye approached the girl and she halted. Tsubaki Uchiha knew exactly who this was. "Shimura-san, how nice it is too meet you."

    "I have some things I need to speak to you about," he gruffly replied,"Follow me. We'll discuss over some refreshments."

    Okay. Everything in her body screamed to say 'no.' Who in the right mind would say fuck no to food though!? So against her instincts, she followed... To a nice home, a kickass nice home.

     They sat down in the living room and a random person brought out tea and cookies. Wait a second, they might be poisoned, so I shouldn't eat them! But if they weren't, that would mean I wasted a perfectly good freeloading offer!

     While contemplating on the two sides, the man spoke,"I'll just cut right to the chase. How did you know where the ROOT was and where did you learn to wield Madara Uchiha's Gumbai?"

     Instantly, she countered,"But what's under the bandages and why do you hide you arm?"

     It was at a standstill, a total lock. So, she decided to toss the dirt she had on him right back on his face,"So... The Akatsuki, huh? Not the smartest move affiliating yourself with them."

     He sputtered out,"How much do you know?!"

     "More than I should, old man. Oh, and how's Orochimaru by the way? After making that arm of yours and quitting the Akatsuki, I'm sure he's out and about in one of his labs. Probably after the Sharingan once again too... Have you met the guy with the orange, swirly mask yet? The orange lollipop guy with a red cloud cloak? Quite an interesting guy, eh? What about the Uchiha massacre? Never even gave Gramps a chance. It's not like you really cared since all you want to do is assassinate the poor fellow. Oh... If you happen to see that Akatsuki lollipop guy again, I want you to relay this message,"I gave you my name, but I want it back." You got it?"

     He didn't know what to do. She knew every single ounce of all the wrongs he had done. "ANBU!"

     Tsubaki just grinned, a sadist look appearing,"No one is going to come, Danzo. They're all asleep right now. I didn't realize how handy shadow clones were until now, but they are quite extraordinary. Now then, I'll be on my way. Make sure you pass the message along... Or everyone will know about what you've done. Considering the bombing an equal exchange for the massacre since I'm feeling generous... Bye~." 

    And she shunshinned out the doors and a furious Danzo followed in pursuit, stopping when he saw a pile of all the Anbu on the ground. True to her word, they were all unconscious. He grit his teeth in anger. Who is this girl?!