Hate that I love you (An Ashton Irwin fanfic)

Chapter 28

I had done it. I accepted. Oh shit, I kind of regretted it now. I knew I wanted it but I had a sudden feeling of guilt hit me. All sorts of emotions were running through me and I felt sick.

I had really done it, I was going to college! I couldn’t even feel happy about it because I started thinking of everything I’d be leaving behind for two years.

I ran downstairs and shouted my mum ‘I’ve done it’ I said

‘Done what?’ she asked

‘I.. I accepted it’ I said with no specific tone in my voice

‘Oh Jade. Well done, you’re going to do so well’ a small smile grew on her face as she walked over to hug me

I felt so lifeless and confused.

‘Have you told Ashton yet?’

I shook my head and took a deep breath out ‘I’ll probably tell him tomorrow. I’m going to head off to bed. Goodnight’ I turned around and headed back upstairs

I slumped down on to my bed and stared at the wall in front of me. I sat forward and pulled off my shirt and threw it across my room and did the same with my jeans. I pulled the covers back and got into bed without even bothering to get any pyjamas. I couldn’t find the strength or energy to do anything.

The next morning when I woke up I felt like shit. I still had last night’s make-up on and felt ill due to lack of sleep and overthinking. I stayed in bed for a good half an hour, just lay there.

I reached for my phone and without letting myself think twice about it, I rang Ashton

‘Hey babe’ he answered

‘Morning’ I said ‘Hey, do you fancy coming round today? I feel like a lazy, cuddly day’

‘I would enjoy nothing more. When should I come over?’

‘About 2 hours?’

‘Great, see you then gorgeous’

I said bye and hung up. I had to tell him today.

As I showered I thought of how I would tell him. Why was I acting like I was breaking up with him or something. Surely he’ll be happy about it? Right?

I dried my hair straight and plaited it and clipped my fringe back while I done my make-up. Not too much, the way Ashton liked it.

I didn’t wear anything special either; I picked out a baggy hoodie and a shirt and wore them over some leggings seen as I was just sitting in the house.

By the time I had finished messing around and kind of cleaned my room, Ashton had arrived. I shouted out of my window to let himself in and make his way up to my room, I quickly threw some clothes that I had left out into my wardrobe and shut the door before everything fell out by the time Ashton has got to my room.

‘Hey’ I said, quickly turning round from my wardrobe

‘You look beautiful’ he said putting his arms around my waist and smiling

‘Oh shush, I look like crap’ I laughed then leaned in to kiss his lips lightly

‘You never look like crap’ he smiled ‘We haven’t had a lazy day in a while’

‘I know, I’m looking forward to it’ I said and sat on my bed and put my arms out for him to sit in the space.

I put a film on my TV and pretty much wrapped myself around Ashton. I had my arm over his stomach and my leg over his legs and rested my head on his chest. I wasn’t even watching the film; I wasn’t sure if Ashton was but he pulled his arm tight around me and kissed my head.